I'm Sorry, Sir, This Trip To The Woodshed Is One-Way Only
Poor Dustin didn't believe the power of Grampa Style, and by the end he was longing for the relative comfort of soiled diapers, loud wives, and second-rate ice cream. After the end of the fourth game and my fourth W, I stepped in front of him and moved my arms slightly back and forth.
"What's that?" he asked me.
"Oh, nothin'." I tells him. "Just doing a little sweeping."
67% improvement--I am nearly MEDIOCRE! I could be a triple digit average by JUNE! Go me.
99, 133, 154 (9 X X / 8 8 8 X X 9) and 107.
As a wise man once said in a drunken stupor, back up in your ass with the ressurrection.
Ambient music: Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth's "T.R.O.Y. (They Reminisce Over You)"
4/24/04
4/22/04
Kingpin, Not A Pauper
A smile that said yes even when the words were unsure.
KBv2 times two. That's all you American women are good for, ordering in restaurants and spending men's money. Bitch, you don't have a future. Lay down honey, you're playing possum. Eyeball:Emilio::mother::daughter. Speak on it, my nigga QT, speak on it.
A subpar 80, and a 103 to run my sudden hot streak in bowling to 6 out of the last 7 games at the century mark. (Before this year, I roughly averaged 70 and that's probably being generous.)
And in the middle of that, a 1motherfucking55, outdoing my best by 20+.
The scorecard:
9 9 8 9 X X / / / / /7
Hot damn, the kid's catching fire like Richard Pyror.
Currently playing: Meth & Red's "Y.O.U."
A smile that said yes even when the words were unsure.
KBv2 times two. That's all you American women are good for, ordering in restaurants and spending men's money. Bitch, you don't have a future. Lay down honey, you're playing possum. Eyeball:Emilio::mother::daughter. Speak on it, my nigga QT, speak on it.
A subpar 80, and a 103 to run my sudden hot streak in bowling to 6 out of the last 7 games at the century mark. (Before this year, I roughly averaged 70 and that's probably being generous.)
And in the middle of that, a 1motherfucking55, outdoing my best by 20+.
The scorecard:
9 9 8 9 X X / / / / /7
Hot damn, the kid's catching fire like Richard Pyror.
Currently playing: Meth & Red's "Y.O.U."
4/20/04
Hey Yo
1) What time do you get up?
--> Depends on school and work. Anywhere from 4 (and boy do I not miss that aspect of working life) to noon.
2) If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be?
--> The obvious answer is Jessica Alba. So I'll say that.
3) What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
--> Kill Motherfucking Bill volume motherfucking 2!
4) What is your favorite show?
--> Scrubs or 24.
5) What do you have for breakfast?
--> Nothing/cereal/muffins/toaster-based items
6) Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with?
--> Dubya.
7) What/who inspires you?
--> Random moments, my friends, music
8) What is your middle name?
--> Danger. No, Ruben.
9) Beach, city, or country?
--> Right near the beach. BOY!
10) Favorite ice cream?
--> Cookies n' Cream or Cookie Dough.
11) Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
--> SALT.
12) Favorite color?
--> Orange. Teal. The blood of the innocent.
13) What kind of car do you drive?
--> BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
14) Favorite sandwich?
--> Grab n' Go, sans tomatoes and onions with extra peppers (note: will find out the meats at a later point)
15) What characteristic do you despise the most?
--> Willful idiocy
16) Favorite flower?
--> The one in Bambi
17) If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be?
--> VEGAS, BABY! Vegas.
18) What color is your bathroom?
--> Whatever color the crap my brother left laying around is in any given day.
19) Favorite brand of clothing?
--> Pfft...uh...Hot Topic's not a brand, huh? Nike? I dunno.
20) Where would you retire to?
--> Monterrey, or maybe Malibu.
21) Favorite day of the week?
--> Whatever day I'm off
22) What did you do for your last birthday?
--> Took a test, went to work, hated you all
23) Who was your first love?
--> Jenny Soto, 8th grade
24) Favorite sport to watch?
--> Football, basketball, a really good Iron Chef episode
25) Who do you least expect to send this back to you?
--> Ryan Chappelle.
26) Who'll send it back first?
--> bluh? Er...let's say...Rob.
27) What fabric detergent do you use?
--> Tide. I think.
28) Coke or Pepsi?
--> Pepsi in America, Coke in Mexico.
29) Are you a morning person or a night person?
--> I'm a free time person.
30) Do you have any pets?
--> I don't count, right? No.
Currently playing: Violent Femmes' "Kiss Off"
1) What time do you get up?
--> Depends on school and work. Anywhere from 4 (and boy do I not miss that aspect of working life) to noon.
2) If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be?
--> The obvious answer is Jessica Alba. So I'll say that.
3) What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
--> Kill Motherfucking Bill volume motherfucking 2!
4) What is your favorite show?
--> Scrubs or 24.
5) What do you have for breakfast?
--> Nothing/cereal/muffins/toaster-based items
6) Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with?
--> Dubya.
7) What/who inspires you?
--> Random moments, my friends, music
8) What is your middle name?
--> Danger. No, Ruben.
9) Beach, city, or country?
--> Right near the beach. BOY!
10) Favorite ice cream?
--> Cookies n' Cream or Cookie Dough.
11) Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
--> SALT.
12) Favorite color?
--> Orange. Teal. The blood of the innocent.
13) What kind of car do you drive?
--> BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
14) Favorite sandwich?
--> Grab n' Go, sans tomatoes and onions with extra peppers (note: will find out the meats at a later point)
15) What characteristic do you despise the most?
--> Willful idiocy
16) Favorite flower?
--> The one in Bambi
17) If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be?
--> VEGAS, BABY! Vegas.
18) What color is your bathroom?
--> Whatever color the crap my brother left laying around is in any given day.
19) Favorite brand of clothing?
--> Pfft...uh...Hot Topic's not a brand, huh? Nike? I dunno.
20) Where would you retire to?
--> Monterrey, or maybe Malibu.
21) Favorite day of the week?
--> Whatever day I'm off
22) What did you do for your last birthday?
--> Took a test, went to work, hated you all
23) Who was your first love?
--> Jenny Soto, 8th grade
24) Favorite sport to watch?
--> Football, basketball, a really good Iron Chef episode
25) Who do you least expect to send this back to you?
--> Ryan Chappelle.
26) Who'll send it back first?
--> bluh? Er...let's say...Rob.
27) What fabric detergent do you use?
--> Tide. I think.
28) Coke or Pepsi?
--> Pepsi in America, Coke in Mexico.
29) Are you a morning person or a night person?
--> I'm a free time person.
30) Do you have any pets?
--> I don't count, right? No.
Currently playing: Violent Femmes' "Kiss Off"
4/17/04
From the Home Office Next To Phil Mickelson's Old 500 Pound Gorilla
Past Tense: "Sunrise", 5; "Dirt Off Your Shoulder", 10
[10] Joss Stone => Fell In Love With A Boy (8)
[09] Incubus => Megalomaniac (6)
[08] N.E.R.D. => She Wants To Move (4)
[07] the Strokes => Reptilia (N)*
[06] Outkast => Roses (N)*
[05] Beyonce => Naughty Girl (9)*
[04] D-12 => My Band (7)*
[03] Yellowcard => Ocean Avenue (3)
[02] Kanye West => All Falls Down (1)
[01] G-Unit feat. Joe => Wanna Get To Know Ya (2) [4w, 2r]
Currently playing: Macy Gray's "Sweet Baby"
Past Tense: "Sunrise", 5; "Dirt Off Your Shoulder", 10
[10] Joss Stone => Fell In Love With A Boy (8)
[09] Incubus => Megalomaniac (6)
[08] N.E.R.D. => She Wants To Move (4)
[07] the Strokes => Reptilia (N)*
[06] Outkast => Roses (N)*
[05] Beyonce => Naughty Girl (9)*
[04] D-12 => My Band (7)*
[03] Yellowcard => Ocean Avenue (3)
[02] Kanye West => All Falls Down (1)
[01] G-Unit feat. Joe => Wanna Get To Know Ya (2) [4w, 2r]
Currently playing: Macy Gray's "Sweet Baby"
4/16/04
"I overreacted."
MAD SPOILERS WARNING, SON
Kill Bill volume 2 (a million trillion stars):
I loved v1 (AHH). I mean, outside of LotRotK it was the blow-away movie of the year in '03. Now, I don't get hyped up about the movies too much, not prone to hyperbole, so you can best believe when I say...
Volume 2 kicked Volume 1's ASS.
David Carradine, master of the flute, for Best Supporting Actor? Daaaaaaaamn straight! The Superman solioquy alone is the first time something in my mind about pop culture has been changed by a movie character's viewpoint since Hooper in Chasing Amy. You wants great reveals we gots your great reveals: Budd's sword and where he kept it, the Bride's name--what an eyeball popper that was for me since I avoided spoilers. GRRRRRRRRRRRREAT. The Pai Mei sequence on it's own is enough to get this thing Best Picture--mad dap for Gordon Liu even if I like Sonny Chiba better. How she got rid of Elle (especially after some Rock/Austin X7 buildup) and Bill--MWAH.
Tarantino playing Office Space in the titty bar damn near soiled my armor, as did the whole Sister Sledge scene after (strange eletronic noise--hey, I won't give that away) checked into her hotel.
There's your name. There was your name.
Congratulations.
Poor Emilio.
Mace or the flashlight.
I could keep going for days, you know. Rufus...he's the man. [Stay for the credits if you really want to know just how much the man he really is.]
Point is...oh, and Elle's "book report" before she got her money back. Yeah, that blew my hinges off too.
POINT IS FUCKDAMMIT you WILL see this, you will thank your deity of choice, and then you WILL see it again.
I bow before Quentin Tarantino. HARD.
Consider me bloody satisfied.
Currently playing: G-Unit's "Stunt 101"
MAD SPOILERS WARNING, SON
Kill Bill volume 2 (a million trillion stars):
I loved v1 (AHH). I mean, outside of LotRotK it was the blow-away movie of the year in '03. Now, I don't get hyped up about the movies too much, not prone to hyperbole, so you can best believe when I say...
Volume 2 kicked Volume 1's ASS.
David Carradine, master of the flute, for Best Supporting Actor? Daaaaaaaamn straight! The Superman solioquy alone is the first time something in my mind about pop culture has been changed by a movie character's viewpoint since Hooper in Chasing Amy. You wants great reveals we gots your great reveals: Budd's sword and where he kept it, the Bride's name--what an eyeball popper that was for me since I avoided spoilers. GRRRRRRRRRRRREAT. The Pai Mei sequence on it's own is enough to get this thing Best Picture--mad dap for Gordon Liu even if I like Sonny Chiba better. How she got rid of Elle (especially after some Rock/Austin X7 buildup) and Bill--MWAH.
Tarantino playing Office Space in the titty bar damn near soiled my armor, as did the whole Sister Sledge scene after (strange eletronic noise--hey, I won't give that away) checked into her hotel.
There's your name. There was your name.
Congratulations.
Poor Emilio.
Mace or the flashlight.
I could keep going for days, you know. Rufus...he's the man. [Stay for the credits if you really want to know just how much the man he really is.]
Point is...oh, and Elle's "book report" before she got her money back. Yeah, that blew my hinges off too.
POINT IS FUCKDAMMIT you WILL see this, you will thank your deity of choice, and then you WILL see it again.
I bow before Quentin Tarantino. HARD.
Consider me bloody satisfied.
Currently playing: G-Unit's "Stunt 101"
4/13/04
Everything Old Is New Again
I just wasn't made for these times.
See, some guys are into it. The Hunt. The Chase. Some guys are like Steve Irwin and they just can do it. They look forward to the preamble and the setup and all that chewy goodness.
I am not one of those guys.
I hate this period, it drives me insane. It makes me wish I could go the Wizard of Oz and gets me some courage because...you know, it just drives me nuts. The whole stakeout thing and playing Do You Like Me Check Yes No Or Maybe. I know now that when it comes up to the actual dates and dating itself, I'm quite fine with those things. And some have told me I'm excellent.
But all the shit before it, just drives me nuts. I'm talking "if it weren't for my horse I wouldn't've spent that year in college". Women need to come with subtitles.
And Steve help me, I'm about yea away from asking her out next week.
The moral of the story, as usual, is I need professional help.
Oh, and motherfuck President Fuckface for cancelling 24 tonight. Fucking Eugene.
Currently playing: John Cougar Mellencamp Airplane Starship Enterprise's "Authority Song"
I just wasn't made for these times.
See, some guys are into it. The Hunt. The Chase. Some guys are like Steve Irwin and they just can do it. They look forward to the preamble and the setup and all that chewy goodness.
I am not one of those guys.
I hate this period, it drives me insane. It makes me wish I could go the Wizard of Oz and gets me some courage because...you know, it just drives me nuts. The whole stakeout thing and playing Do You Like Me Check Yes No Or Maybe. I know now that when it comes up to the actual dates and dating itself, I'm quite fine with those things. And some have told me I'm excellent.
But all the shit before it, just drives me nuts. I'm talking "if it weren't for my horse I wouldn't've spent that year in college". Women need to come with subtitles.
And Steve help me, I'm about yea away from asking her out next week.
The moral of the story, as usual, is I need professional help.
Oh, and motherfuck President Fuckface for cancelling 24 tonight. Fucking Eugene.
Currently playing: John Cougar Mellencamp Airplane Starship Enterprise's "Authority Song"
4/9/04
Another Broken Campaign Promise
This one is...that there is going to be one.
Well, I found out some relocation of the family is going on, since this is a high-rent district (possibly out of state--YIKES). Plus, the filiming would make miss Comic-Con, and I gotta hurry up this script to big Kev so he can make another money making move.
So I drop out of the race and throw my support behind Kerry.
Besides, 2016 is when it'll count.
Currently playing: Love & Rockets' "So Alive"
This one is...that there is going to be one.
Well, I found out some relocation of the family is going on, since this is a high-rent district (possibly out of state--YIKES). Plus, the filiming would make miss Comic-Con, and I gotta hurry up this script to big Kev so he can make another money making move.
So I drop out of the race and throw my support behind Kerry.
Besides, 2016 is when it'll count.
Currently playing: Love & Rockets' "So Alive"
4/4/04
We Await The Repsonses From Those Pussies Bush & Kerry
[Jewelry worn daily]: Maybe the Guess watch, but that about it.
[Pillow]: 3, one for loitering and two I sleep on top of stacked together like a soft little princess
[Shoes]: black Chuck Taylor in general, grungy white Pumas at work
[Favorite top]: Bullets Jordan throwback
[Favorite bottoms]: Jeans.
[Cologne/Perfume]: Cologne is a town in Germany to me.
[CD in stereo right now]: the Green Day Greatest Hits CD
[Piercings]: none
[Hair]: preferably none
[What you are wearing now]: plaid shorts, white T-shirt with "You Might Be A College Student If..." on the back
[In my mouth]: tongue, soon to be joined by Cookie Dough from B & J
[Inmyhead]: I should ask her. I should get some writing done while the house is quiet. I really should ask her.
[After this]: Enough porn to kill a elephant! And maybe writing. And sleep.
[Talking to]: Myself, per usual
[The last thing you ate?]: Mushroom & pepperoni pizza
[Some of your favorite movies]: Ferris Bueller's Day Off, the Shawshank Redemption, Office Space, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, High Fidelity
[Something that you are deathly afraid of]: dying alone
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: Not really.
[Do you belive in forgiveness]: Sort of?
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: SNAKE!
[What are 3 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to?]: Los Angeles, Miami, New York
[What's something you wish you could understand better?]: WOMEN.
[In the last 24 hours, have you]
01. Cried?: Nope
02. Bought something?: Food
03. Gotten sick?: No
04. Sang?: A few times
05. Eaten?: Doing so right now
07. Felt stupid?: Yeah
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't?: Nope. Wanted to tell someone ¿Quieres salir conmigo al cine?, but that's another thang entirely, innit?
09. Met someone new?: Kinda sorta.
10. Moved on?: Mostly. I guess.
11. Talked to an ex?: Nope.
12. Missed an ex?: A little.
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on?: Haven't.
14. Had a serious talk?: Seriously ODD.
15. Missed someone?: A little.
16. Hugged someone?: No.
17. Fought with your parent?: Uh-uh, they're away.
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with?: Well, that all depends if she likes me or not, so...Incomplete.
[Who]
01. Have you known the longest?: Dustin.
02. Do you argue with the most with?: Myself.
03. Do you always get along with?: Ivan, because he's nondemonstrative.
04. Is the trustworthiest?: Ivan. Or Amanda.
05. Makes you laugh the most?: Stupid people.
06. Has been there through all the hard times?: Amanda.
07. Has the coolest parents?: Dustin.
08. Have the coolest siblings?: Dustin, because hot DAMN did Heidi grow up to be a piece of a...oh, that said coolest. Well, fuck it, reasoning still stands. *bangs gavel*
09. Is the most blunt?: That'd be me. Free your mind and your ass will follow.
10. Is the smartest?: Depends on the subject. If you needed like swiss army knife smarts I'd throw Amanda in there.
[Personal]
01. Who is your role model?: It's probably me, my dad, and Chris Rock, probably not in that order.
02. What is some of your pet peeves?: Stupidity, ignorance, stupidity, stupidity, not listening...
03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with?: Mariel Fernandez. I still think I could've, though, if I'd tried. This is the "up" period of my bipolarity.
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex?: Not in a few years, but yeah.
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after?: Brains, Sweetness, Looks. Other than those qualities if you lined up the girls of my past it'd be a virtual U.N. meeting.
06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s)?: "Sure, you should get married." Try your waitress, tip the veal.
07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you?: I want to get revenge on complete strangers for asking me retarded questions, are you kidding me?
08. Rather be dumper or dumped?: Dumper. Dumpee sucks.
09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup"?: 52% love, 48% lust.
10. Want someone you don't have right now?: Hell yes. And it's like an itch I can't quite reach, which is all the more exacerbating. (You Might Be A Journalism Student If...during the course of a questionaire the first word you think of to accurately describe your plight is a word like exacerbating.)
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend?: You asked me this down the line, too. So go there.
12. Do you want to get married?: It depends. If it happens this decade expect the Apocalypse during the honeymoon.
13. Do you want kids?: Down the line. By which I mean 2016.
14. Do you believe in psychics?: Scam
15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time?: Probably not. Everything is subject to change; you also have to allow for everything to not change.
16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance?: All the walking I do at work has made my legs nice according to outside sources.
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being?: Haven't given it much thought.
18. Are you happy with you?: Mostly.
19. Are you happy with your life?: Mostly.
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be?: Either she'd be mine or I'd be living outside of the familial shadow.
Have you...
1. Fallen for your best friend?: I did, for a while. Only because of the understanding and caring and whatnot.
3. Been rejected?: More times than guacamole ice cream.
4. Been in love?: Yeah.
5. Used someone?: Friendships are just ways to use people, right? Right? I mean, when you get down to it, you don't want to be alone so you have this support group to take your mind off your own shit and have some fun activities and whatnot. Everybody uses everybody.
6. Been used?: Maybe mentally?
8. Done something you regret?: Yes.
Who was the last person..
9. You touched?: *points* *to* *self*
10. You talked to?: In person?: Ivan, in both instances, last night
12. You instant messaged?: Bluh...Rob?
14. You had sex with?: *points*...well, you get the point
15. You yelled at?: Me.
16. You laughed with?: Ivan.
17. Who broke your heart?: Elizabeth McMunn, two and a half years ago (*WOW*), through no fault of her own
Do you..
19. Color your hair?: I want to grow a Fro and dye it some ludicrous color.
20. Have tattoos?: Maybe someday.
21. Have piercings?: No.
22. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: I'm between things instead of legs at the moment, sure.
23. Own a webcam?: Negatory.
24. Own a thong?: No.
25. Ever get off the damn computer?: Sure.
27. Habla espanol?: Working on it, working on it.
28. Quack?: Only when the Mighty Ducks happens to be on and they hit the Flying V.
Have you / do you / are you...
29. Stolen anything?: My record has been clean for TWO DECADES.
30. Smoke?: Not cigarettes...
32. Obsessive?: Some.
33. Compulsive?: That would mean I'm clean, so no.
34. Obsessive compulsive?: Nah.
35. Panic?: Yeah, but only to protect myself.
36. Anxiety?: Only when I'm awake.
37. Depressed?: Depends on the moment.
38. Suicidal?: No.
39. Obsessed with hate?: Yeah. Sorry, too many idiots.
40. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore?: It has been known to happen, usually via me going on rampages with or without chainsaw. Favorite: stabbing my boss in the eye with a chainsaw after getting a verbal reprimand, and then as they screamed with the chainsaw sticking out of their socket I kicked him squah in the balls.
*Questions*
41. If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: Vegas. Puerto. An actual spring break instead of this.
42. Can you do anything freakish with your body?: Yes, and one day I want a woman to be present to cause them.
43. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: Eyes.
44. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: Depends on her platform and not against me this year, bitch! Get in the kitchen! SAMICH! MAU! DIDI MAU!
45. Would you marry for money?: Marrying for money is wrong unless it's like Paris Hilton money. You marry when you're horribly, horribly trapped.
46. Have you had braces?: Nope.
47. Do you pluck your eyebrows?: I keep meaning to do it, right after I get the rest of the sex change done. *smack*
48. Do you like hairy backs?: Not as much as Erica does, apparently. *snort*
50. Could you live without a computer?: Not anymore I couldn't. Lousy free porn. Oh, who'm I kidding? I love you, free porn! *dryhumps*
51. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc?: AIM.
52. If so, how many people are on your list(s)?: 24, roughly.
53. If you could live in any past, where would it be?: the good old days, the same old ways that kept us dying/yes you, me myself and I'n
54. Do you wear white socks?: Yes.
55. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: Depends where I'm walking.
56. Your favorite fruit?: Oranges.
57. Do you eat wheat bread or white?: Wheat bread is for dirty, dirty hippies.
58. What is your favorite place to visit?: Vegas, baby, Vegas.
59. What is the last movie you saw?: Starsky & Hutch.
61. Are you photogenic?: As long as I don't show my teeth when I smile.
62. Do you dream in color or black and white?: Color, though sometimes during flashback sequences (don't get me started) it goes to black and white. Another thing I want to blame on the Wonder Years.
63. Are you wearing fingernail polish?: Not right now.
64. Is it chipped or fresh?: It's fresh. EXCIIIIIIIITING!
65. Do you have any dimples?: Do black people get dimples? Can someone look into this?
66. Do you remember being born?: No.
67. Why do you take surveys?: Boredom.
68. Do you drink alcohol?: Not in the last 26 hours!
69. Did you like or do you like high school?: High school, with the exception of the friends I made and about 4 events, blew like a porn marathon.
70. What is the best accent?: British on a woman. Giggidy giggidy giggidy.
71. Who do you want to kiss?: Stephanie the aforementioned Her.
72. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: Sunrise is really overrated. Sunsets is only good when you got a SO. So give me 1:30 in the afternoon on a day off with a cold beverage and a good time instead.
73. Do you want to live to be 100?: Only because dying scares the shit out of me.
74. Is a flat stomach important to you?: On a girl it would be nice but I don't think it's mandatory.
75. Do you or have you played with a ouija board?: No.
76. Are you loyal?: Fiercely. Mostly because no one's come up with the good money to bribe me yet.
77. Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?: As long as they don't beat me over the head with it or fuck up my fun.
78. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: Off. What sort of cultish weirdo watches with the lights on? You're going for a movie experience!
79. Do you like your nose?: I like it more without boogers in it.
80. Do you think you can draw well?: Drawing sucks.
81. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?: Probably in elementary school. End result was the same so what sort of fuck did I give?
82. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: 0 (four scattered about the floor)
83. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: I'd wear my Chucks all the time if I could.
84. Do you write poetry?: Not anymore.
85. Snore?: I've heard I do.
86. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: Sides.
87. Cats/Dogs?: DOGS.
88. Do you lick stamps?: Yeah, disgusting as that is.
89. Do you use an electric can opener?: Hell yes.
90. Have you ridden in a hotair balloon?: No.
here we go...
Like your name?: My name f'n rocks.
Were you named after anyone?: My dad and the bully on the Little Rascals
Do you wish on stars?: Nope.
Which finger is your favorite?: The middle (probably because I make it work so much).
When did you last cry?: It's been a few years. I'll say 9/11, but even that seems off and wrong to me.
Do you like your handwriting?: I have no strong feelings about my cursive script.
Who do you admire?: Seth Green.
What is your favorite animal?: Piranha.
If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself?: Probably not.
Are you a daredevil?: Not until I get some medical insurance I ain't.
Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?: Probably. Arsed if I know.
Have you ever stolen anything?: A toy car when I was 5.
Do looks matter?: Football analogy: looks are the offense, personality & brains are the defense. There've been plenty of legendary high-scoring offenses that were awesome and put butts in the seats, but defense wins championships.
Have you ever miss used a word and it sounded absolutely stupid?: Heh, miss used. YOU DID!
Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: Don't believe the hype, it's a sequel/as an equal can I get this through to you?
Are you trendy?: I want to say no but in some circles anti-trendy is trendy so I don't know.
How do you release anger?: Cursing. Rock music. Punching shit. Cursing.
Do you trust others easily?: Not really.
What was your favorite toy as a child?: Playdoh
Do you like sappy love songs?: I do when I'm crushing or in love. Then when I'm not I say "fuck this shit" and reach for some Slipknot.
Have you ever been on radio or television?: For a couple seconds: I was at a girls basketball playoff game with my friends, we were all wearing face paint, and I was teaching them the Train dance during a timeout.
Do you have a journal?: What do you think this is?
Do you use sarcasm a lot?: Only the times when I open my mouth.
Have you ever been in another country?: Sadly, no.
What is your nickname?: I don't have one outside the obvious.
Would you bungee jump?: The crazy thing is I want to but I'm acrophobic.
Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?: Sometimes.
What are you worried about right now?: Her.
Do you ever wear overalls?: Sorry, I live west of the Mississippi and don't fuck pigs, despite what Harris may've told you.
Do you think you are strong?: Nah. I don't think I am mentally either though I've been told otherwise.
Currently playing: Fat Joe, Ashanti & her little dog, too's "What's Luv?"
[Jewelry worn daily]: Maybe the Guess watch, but that about it.
[Pillow]: 3, one for loitering and two I sleep on top of stacked together like a soft little princess
[Shoes]: black Chuck Taylor in general, grungy white Pumas at work
[Favorite top]: Bullets Jordan throwback
[Favorite bottoms]: Jeans.
[Cologne/Perfume]: Cologne is a town in Germany to me.
[CD in stereo right now]: the Green Day Greatest Hits CD
[Piercings]: none
[Hair]: preferably none
[What you are wearing now]: plaid shorts, white T-shirt with "You Might Be A College Student If..." on the back
[In my mouth]: tongue, soon to be joined by Cookie Dough from B & J
[Inmyhead]: I should ask her. I should get some writing done while the house is quiet. I really should ask her.
[After this]: Enough porn to kill a elephant! And maybe writing. And sleep.
[Talking to]: Myself, per usual
[The last thing you ate?]: Mushroom & pepperoni pizza
[Some of your favorite movies]: Ferris Bueller's Day Off, the Shawshank Redemption, Office Space, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, High Fidelity
[Something that you are deathly afraid of]: dying alone
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: Not really.
[Do you belive in forgiveness]: Sort of?
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: SNAKE!
[What are 3 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to?]: Los Angeles, Miami, New York
[What's something you wish you could understand better?]: WOMEN.
[In the last 24 hours, have you]
01. Cried?: Nope
02. Bought something?: Food
03. Gotten sick?: No
04. Sang?: A few times
05. Eaten?: Doing so right now
07. Felt stupid?: Yeah
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't?: Nope. Wanted to tell someone ¿Quieres salir conmigo al cine?, but that's another thang entirely, innit?
09. Met someone new?: Kinda sorta.
10. Moved on?: Mostly. I guess.
11. Talked to an ex?: Nope.
12. Missed an ex?: A little.
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on?: Haven't.
14. Had a serious talk?: Seriously ODD.
15. Missed someone?: A little.
16. Hugged someone?: No.
17. Fought with your parent?: Uh-uh, they're away.
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with?: Well, that all depends if she likes me or not, so...Incomplete.
[Who]
01. Have you known the longest?: Dustin.
02. Do you argue with the most with?: Myself.
03. Do you always get along with?: Ivan, because he's nondemonstrative.
04. Is the trustworthiest?: Ivan. Or Amanda.
05. Makes you laugh the most?: Stupid people.
06. Has been there through all the hard times?: Amanda.
07. Has the coolest parents?: Dustin.
08. Have the coolest siblings?: Dustin, because hot DAMN did Heidi grow up to be a piece of a...oh, that said coolest. Well, fuck it, reasoning still stands. *bangs gavel*
09. Is the most blunt?: That'd be me. Free your mind and your ass will follow.
10. Is the smartest?: Depends on the subject. If you needed like swiss army knife smarts I'd throw Amanda in there.
[Personal]
01. Who is your role model?: It's probably me, my dad, and Chris Rock, probably not in that order.
02. What is some of your pet peeves?: Stupidity, ignorance, stupidity, stupidity, not listening...
03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with?: Mariel Fernandez. I still think I could've, though, if I'd tried. This is the "up" period of my bipolarity.
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex?: Not in a few years, but yeah.
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after?: Brains, Sweetness, Looks. Other than those qualities if you lined up the girls of my past it'd be a virtual U.N. meeting.
06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s)?: "Sure, you should get married." Try your waitress, tip the veal.
07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you?: I want to get revenge on complete strangers for asking me retarded questions, are you kidding me?
08. Rather be dumper or dumped?: Dumper. Dumpee sucks.
09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup"?: 52% love, 48% lust.
10. Want someone you don't have right now?: Hell yes. And it's like an itch I can't quite reach, which is all the more exacerbating. (You Might Be A Journalism Student If...during the course of a questionaire the first word you think of to accurately describe your plight is a word like exacerbating.)
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend?: You asked me this down the line, too. So go there.
12. Do you want to get married?: It depends. If it happens this decade expect the Apocalypse during the honeymoon.
13. Do you want kids?: Down the line. By which I mean 2016.
14. Do you believe in psychics?: Scam
15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time?: Probably not. Everything is subject to change; you also have to allow for everything to not change.
16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance?: All the walking I do at work has made my legs nice according to outside sources.
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being?: Haven't given it much thought.
18. Are you happy with you?: Mostly.
19. Are you happy with your life?: Mostly.
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be?: Either she'd be mine or I'd be living outside of the familial shadow.
Have you...
1. Fallen for your best friend?: I did, for a while. Only because of the understanding and caring and whatnot.
3. Been rejected?: More times than guacamole ice cream.
4. Been in love?: Yeah.
5. Used someone?: Friendships are just ways to use people, right? Right? I mean, when you get down to it, you don't want to be alone so you have this support group to take your mind off your own shit and have some fun activities and whatnot. Everybody uses everybody.
6. Been used?: Maybe mentally?
8. Done something you regret?: Yes.
Who was the last person..
9. You touched?: *points* *to* *self*
10. You talked to?: In person?: Ivan, in both instances, last night
12. You instant messaged?: Bluh...Rob?
14. You had sex with?: *points*...well, you get the point
15. You yelled at?: Me.
16. You laughed with?: Ivan.
17. Who broke your heart?: Elizabeth McMunn, two and a half years ago (*WOW*), through no fault of her own
Do you..
19. Color your hair?: I want to grow a Fro and dye it some ludicrous color.
20. Have tattoos?: Maybe someday.
21. Have piercings?: No.
22. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: I'm between things instead of legs at the moment, sure.
23. Own a webcam?: Negatory.
24. Own a thong?: No.
25. Ever get off the damn computer?: Sure.
27. Habla espanol?: Working on it, working on it.
28. Quack?: Only when the Mighty Ducks happens to be on and they hit the Flying V.
Have you / do you / are you...
29. Stolen anything?: My record has been clean for TWO DECADES.
30. Smoke?: Not cigarettes...
32. Obsessive?: Some.
33. Compulsive?: That would mean I'm clean, so no.
34. Obsessive compulsive?: Nah.
35. Panic?: Yeah, but only to protect myself.
36. Anxiety?: Only when I'm awake.
37. Depressed?: Depends on the moment.
38. Suicidal?: No.
39. Obsessed with hate?: Yeah. Sorry, too many idiots.
40. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore?: It has been known to happen, usually via me going on rampages with or without chainsaw. Favorite: stabbing my boss in the eye with a chainsaw after getting a verbal reprimand, and then as they screamed with the chainsaw sticking out of their socket I kicked him squah in the balls.
*Questions*
41. If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: Vegas. Puerto. An actual spring break instead of this.
42. Can you do anything freakish with your body?: Yes, and one day I want a woman to be present to cause them.
43. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: Eyes.
44. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: Depends on her platform and not against me this year, bitch! Get in the kitchen! SAMICH! MAU! DIDI MAU!
45. Would you marry for money?: Marrying for money is wrong unless it's like Paris Hilton money. You marry when you're horribly, horribly trapped.
46. Have you had braces?: Nope.
47. Do you pluck your eyebrows?: I keep meaning to do it, right after I get the rest of the sex change done. *smack*
48. Do you like hairy backs?: Not as much as Erica does, apparently. *snort*
50. Could you live without a computer?: Not anymore I couldn't. Lousy free porn. Oh, who'm I kidding? I love you, free porn! *dryhumps*
51. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc?: AIM.
52. If so, how many people are on your list(s)?: 24, roughly.
53. If you could live in any past, where would it be?: the good old days, the same old ways that kept us dying/yes you, me myself and I'n
54. Do you wear white socks?: Yes.
55. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: Depends where I'm walking.
56. Your favorite fruit?: Oranges.
57. Do you eat wheat bread or white?: Wheat bread is for dirty, dirty hippies.
58. What is your favorite place to visit?: Vegas, baby, Vegas.
59. What is the last movie you saw?: Starsky & Hutch.
61. Are you photogenic?: As long as I don't show my teeth when I smile.
62. Do you dream in color or black and white?: Color, though sometimes during flashback sequences (don't get me started) it goes to black and white. Another thing I want to blame on the Wonder Years.
63. Are you wearing fingernail polish?: Not right now.
64. Is it chipped or fresh?: It's fresh. EXCIIIIIIIITING!
65. Do you have any dimples?: Do black people get dimples? Can someone look into this?
66. Do you remember being born?: No.
67. Why do you take surveys?: Boredom.
68. Do you drink alcohol?: Not in the last 26 hours!
69. Did you like or do you like high school?: High school, with the exception of the friends I made and about 4 events, blew like a porn marathon.
70. What is the best accent?: British on a woman. Giggidy giggidy giggidy.
71. Who do you want to kiss?: Stephanie the aforementioned Her.
72. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: Sunrise is really overrated. Sunsets is only good when you got a SO. So give me 1:30 in the afternoon on a day off with a cold beverage and a good time instead.
73. Do you want to live to be 100?: Only because dying scares the shit out of me.
74. Is a flat stomach important to you?: On a girl it would be nice but I don't think it's mandatory.
75. Do you or have you played with a ouija board?: No.
76. Are you loyal?: Fiercely. Mostly because no one's come up with the good money to bribe me yet.
77. Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?: As long as they don't beat me over the head with it or fuck up my fun.
78. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: Off. What sort of cultish weirdo watches with the lights on? You're going for a movie experience!
79. Do you like your nose?: I like it more without boogers in it.
80. Do you think you can draw well?: Drawing sucks.
81. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?: Probably in elementary school. End result was the same so what sort of fuck did I give?
82. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: 0 (four scattered about the floor)
83. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: I'd wear my Chucks all the time if I could.
84. Do you write poetry?: Not anymore.
85. Snore?: I've heard I do.
86. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: Sides.
87. Cats/Dogs?: DOGS.
88. Do you lick stamps?: Yeah, disgusting as that is.
89. Do you use an electric can opener?: Hell yes.
90. Have you ridden in a hotair balloon?: No.
here we go...
Like your name?: My name f'n rocks.
Were you named after anyone?: My dad and the bully on the Little Rascals
Do you wish on stars?: Nope.
Which finger is your favorite?: The middle (probably because I make it work so much).
When did you last cry?: It's been a few years. I'll say 9/11, but even that seems off and wrong to me.
Do you like your handwriting?: I have no strong feelings about my cursive script.
Who do you admire?: Seth Green.
What is your favorite animal?: Piranha.
If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself?: Probably not.
Are you a daredevil?: Not until I get some medical insurance I ain't.
Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?: Probably. Arsed if I know.
Have you ever stolen anything?: A toy car when I was 5.
Do looks matter?: Football analogy: looks are the offense, personality & brains are the defense. There've been plenty of legendary high-scoring offenses that were awesome and put butts in the seats, but defense wins championships.
Have you ever miss used a word and it sounded absolutely stupid?: Heh, miss used. YOU DID!
Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: Don't believe the hype, it's a sequel/as an equal can I get this through to you?
Are you trendy?: I want to say no but in some circles anti-trendy is trendy so I don't know.
How do you release anger?: Cursing. Rock music. Punching shit. Cursing.
Do you trust others easily?: Not really.
What was your favorite toy as a child?: Playdoh
Do you like sappy love songs?: I do when I'm crushing or in love. Then when I'm not I say "fuck this shit" and reach for some Slipknot.
Have you ever been on radio or television?: For a couple seconds: I was at a girls basketball playoff game with my friends, we were all wearing face paint, and I was teaching them the Train dance during a timeout.
Do you have a journal?: What do you think this is?
Do you use sarcasm a lot?: Only the times when I open my mouth.
Have you ever been in another country?: Sadly, no.
What is your nickname?: I don't have one outside the obvious.
Would you bungee jump?: The crazy thing is I want to but I'm acrophobic.
Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?: Sometimes.
What are you worried about right now?: Her.
Do you ever wear overalls?: Sorry, I live west of the Mississippi and don't fuck pigs, despite what Harris may've told you.
Do you think you are strong?: Nah. I don't think I am mentally either though I've been told otherwise.
Currently playing: Fat Joe, Ashanti & her little dog, too's "What's Luv?"
4/3/04
From the Home Office In The Buried 9/11 Reports
Make Like A Bad Check: "I Believe In A Thing Called Love", 7; "Through The Wire", 8; "Meant To Live", 10
[10] Jay-Z => Dirt Off Your Shoulder (N)*
[09] Beyonce => Naughty Girl (N)*
[08] Joss Stone => Fell In Love With A Boy (6)
[07] D-12 => My Band (N)*
[06] Incubus => Megalomaniac (4)
[05] Norah Jones => Sunrise (9)*
[04] N.E.R.D.=> She Wants To Move (5)*
[03] Yellowcard => Ocean Avenue (2)
[02] G-Unit feat. Joe => Wanna Get To Know Ya (1)
[01] Kanye West => All Falls Down (3) [2w]
Currently playing: Diddy, Ginuwine, Mario Winans & Loon's "I Need A Girl (pt.2)"
Make Like A Bad Check: "I Believe In A Thing Called Love", 7; "Through The Wire", 8; "Meant To Live", 10
[10] Jay-Z => Dirt Off Your Shoulder (N)*
[09] Beyonce => Naughty Girl (N)*
[08] Joss Stone => Fell In Love With A Boy (6)
[07] D-12 => My Band (N)*
[06] Incubus => Megalomaniac (4)
[05] Norah Jones => Sunrise (9)*
[04] N.E.R.D.=> She Wants To Move (5)*
[03] Yellowcard => Ocean Avenue (2)
[02] G-Unit feat. Joe => Wanna Get To Know Ya (1)
[01] Kanye West => All Falls Down (3) [2w]
Currently playing: Diddy, Ginuwine, Mario Winans & Loon's "I Need A Girl (pt.2)"
4/1/04
In The Event That The Chick From Spanish Class Should For Some Reason NOT Find Me Attractive, The Following Celebrity Runners-Up Will Be YOUR Next First Lady (Barring Cristal Coming Back To Me, not valid in Puerto Rico, etc...)
Let The Beat Drop: Michelle Trachtenberg (11), Alyssa Milano (12), Alyson Hannigan (16), Ana Beatriz Barros (19), Dawn Marie (22), Kim Smith (23)
Five Feet High And Rising: Sarah Chalke, Jennifer Garner, Shakira
LM TM Wrist Fuel Peak
NR ^ 25 Norah Jones 25
NR ^ 24-R Lucy Liu 23
NR ^ 23 Josie Maran 23
14 v 22 Britney Spears 22
24 ^ 21 Christina Aguilera 6
NR ^ 20-R Tyra Banks 19
21 ^ 19 Jaime Pressly 7
20 ^ 18 Halle Berry 18
25 ^ 17 Kristanna Loken 17
NR ^ 16 Elisha Cuthbert 16
15 = 15 Sofia Vergara 8
17 ^ 14 Heidi Klum 10
10 v 13 Rachel Bilson 10
5 v 12 Carmen Electra 5
9 v 11 Vida Guerra 6
13 ^ 10 Adriana Lima 10
NR ^ 09 Cameron Diaz 9
18 ^ 08 Victoria 8
8 ^ 07 Anna Kournikova 7
4 v 06 Eliza Dushku 3
7 ^ 05 Angelina Jolie 5
6 ^ 04 Beyonce Knowles 4
3 = 03 Brooke Burke 3
1 v 02 Jessica Alba 1
2 ^ 01 Trish Stratus 1
Currently playing: Pat Benatar's "Love Is A Battlefield"
Let The Beat Drop: Michelle Trachtenberg (11), Alyssa Milano (12), Alyson Hannigan (16), Ana Beatriz Barros (19), Dawn Marie (22), Kim Smith (23)
Five Feet High And Rising: Sarah Chalke, Jennifer Garner, Shakira
LM TM Wrist Fuel Peak
NR ^ 25 Norah Jones 25
NR ^ 24-R Lucy Liu 23
NR ^ 23 Josie Maran 23
14 v 22 Britney Spears 22
24 ^ 21 Christina Aguilera 6
NR ^ 20-R Tyra Banks 19
21 ^ 19 Jaime Pressly 7
20 ^ 18 Halle Berry 18
25 ^ 17 Kristanna Loken 17
NR ^ 16 Elisha Cuthbert 16
15 = 15 Sofia Vergara 8
17 ^ 14 Heidi Klum 10
10 v 13 Rachel Bilson 10
5 v 12 Carmen Electra 5
9 v 11 Vida Guerra 6
13 ^ 10 Adriana Lima 10
NR ^ 09 Cameron Diaz 9
18 ^ 08 Victoria 8
8 ^ 07 Anna Kournikova 7
4 v 06 Eliza Dushku 3
7 ^ 05 Angelina Jolie 5
6 ^ 04 Beyonce Knowles 4
3 = 03 Brooke Burke 3
1 v 02 Jessica Alba 1
2 ^ 01 Trish Stratus 1
Currently playing: Pat Benatar's "Love Is A Battlefield"
3/30/04
Neither Party Is Mine, Not The Jackass Or The Elephant
The march on Washington with the Rosser '04 campaign continues coming at ya like the Dragon Whip. Thanks to Rob Harris for hosting the Morrow produced advertisements. We takin' over this b i itch.
the Mission Statement of the Wave of the Future
Consider Yourself Warned, Kucinich!
A Chicken In Every Pot And A Clone Of Angelina Jolie (Or Your Babe Of Choice) In Every Lap
The Offical Rosser '04 Campaign Theme, Sans Breaks and the lyrics.
theprecedingpaidforbytherosser2004campaign
Currently playing: Blink 182's "All The Small Things"
The march on Washington with the Rosser '04 campaign continues coming at ya like the Dragon Whip. Thanks to Rob Harris for hosting the Morrow produced advertisements. We takin' over this b i itch.
the Mission Statement of the Wave of the Future
Consider Yourself Warned, Kucinich!
A Chicken In Every Pot And A Clone Of Angelina Jolie (Or Your Babe Of Choice) In Every Lap
The Offical Rosser '04 Campaign Theme, Sans Breaks and the lyrics.
theprecedingpaidforbytherosser2004campaign
Currently playing: Blink 182's "All The Small Things"
3/28/04
The Big Questions For This Administration
Who will fit our platform and provide a quality Vice President, yet also is hated enough to the point where I won't be assassinated?
What is the campaign's one big theme?
What's a good idea for "Why do I want to be president?" besides "It's the quickest way to take over the world and make all those motherfuckers pay, plus I'd get more pussy than an animal shelter"?
List of platforms to date:
*abolishment of the penny
*re-establishment of the guillotine as capital punishment, and the catapult because...well...it's cool.
*kill everyone in jails; redecorate jails, rename, and house homeless
*the first week of inauguration everything in the country is 10% off as a thank you/economic stimulus
*state contraction--do we need BOTH Dakotas?
*scrapping NASA and using 70% of the money to start cloning hot babes and reprogram the clones for freaky sex and chore-doing, thus at least halving crime in the country. Other 25% goes to schools. And the other 5% to me.
*the legalization of marijuana, taxed, and packaged with snack chips
*the legalization of gay marriage, because it's 2004. Get the fuck over it already.
*non-retarded adults must have at least an IQ of 80. Alternatives: flee country. die.
*the noise for the monthly television tests will be replaced by the riff from AC/DC's "Thunderstruck"
*Lewis Black will proffered a job as press secretary
*annexation of Canada with plans for global health care
*a new National Anthem, which may or may not be the theme from the Jeffersons
theprecedingpaidbytherosser2004campaign
Currently playing: my current #1, G-Unit & Joe's "Wanna Get To Know Ya"
Who will fit our platform and provide a quality Vice President, yet also is hated enough to the point where I won't be assassinated?
What is the campaign's one big theme?
What's a good idea for "Why do I want to be president?" besides "It's the quickest way to take over the world and make all those motherfuckers pay, plus I'd get more pussy than an animal shelter"?
List of platforms to date:
*abolishment of the penny
*re-establishment of the guillotine as capital punishment, and the catapult because...well...it's cool.
*kill everyone in jails; redecorate jails, rename, and house homeless
*the first week of inauguration everything in the country is 10% off as a thank you/economic stimulus
*state contraction--do we need BOTH Dakotas?
*scrapping NASA and using 70% of the money to start cloning hot babes and reprogram the clones for freaky sex and chore-doing, thus at least halving crime in the country. Other 25% goes to schools. And the other 5% to me.
*the legalization of marijuana, taxed, and packaged with snack chips
*the legalization of gay marriage, because it's 2004. Get the fuck over it already.
*non-retarded adults must have at least an IQ of 80. Alternatives: flee country. die.
*the noise for the monthly television tests will be replaced by the riff from AC/DC's "Thunderstruck"
*Lewis Black will proffered a job as press secretary
*annexation of Canada with plans for global health care
*a new National Anthem, which may or may not be the theme from the Jeffersons
theprecedingpaidbytherosser2004campaign
Currently playing: my current #1, G-Unit & Joe's "Wanna Get To Know Ya"
3/27/04
"The best argument against democracy is the average voter."--Bertrand Russell
ROSSER IN NOVEMBER!
All right. Here's the deal.
Most of you know that since 1999, I have said one day, I would do this. I would take this challenge and face it in the eyes.
I would run for President.
Today...is that day. If Showtime's foolish enough to run a reality show where the winner gets some air time, I am crazy enough to enter. My voice will be heard.
What do I need from you? Not much. Your continued love and support, the occassional campaign donation, and of course to visit the blog and make the hit numbers look good for the press. I'm not going to lie and say this'll be easy and that I'll always be at my best, but c'mon. It'd be worth it to see your boy in a T-Mac throwback arguing for the abolition of the penny and the resurrection of guillotine as capital punishment.
Let the march to Washington begin with this, my mission statement in 400 characters or less (you can hit me up for the mp3 if you so desire):
It is clear that the rich old white guys in suits have failed. A new leader is needed: a young minority with radically liberal ideas who's indiscretions and corruption will be right out on the table for all to see. And people will realize at the end of the day that while they disagree with it sometimes, they can live a good life.
Plus, this will finally impress Jessica Alba.
Currently playing: the Rosser campaign theme, Public Enemy's "Rebel Without A Pause"
ROSSER IN NOVEMBER!
All right. Here's the deal.
Most of you know that since 1999, I have said one day, I would do this. I would take this challenge and face it in the eyes.
I would run for President.
Today...is that day. If Showtime's foolish enough to run a reality show where the winner gets some air time, I am crazy enough to enter. My voice will be heard.
What do I need from you? Not much. Your continued love and support, the occassional campaign donation, and of course to visit the blog and make the hit numbers look good for the press. I'm not going to lie and say this'll be easy and that I'll always be at my best, but c'mon. It'd be worth it to see your boy in a T-Mac throwback arguing for the abolition of the penny and the resurrection of guillotine as capital punishment.
Let the march to Washington begin with this, my mission statement in 400 characters or less (you can hit me up for the mp3 if you so desire):
It is clear that the rich old white guys in suits have failed. A new leader is needed: a young minority with radically liberal ideas who's indiscretions and corruption will be right out on the table for all to see. And people will realize at the end of the day that while they disagree with it sometimes, they can live a good life.
Plus, this will finally impress Jessica Alba.
Currently playing: the Rosser campaign theme, Public Enemy's "Rebel Without A Pause"
3/23/04
Monday, Back From The Dead
How did I end up doing on accident exactly what I wanted to do on purpose?
I dunno, maybe me piecing it together in my mind's eye again'll help shed some light on it.
I meant to get attention, but I was doing it in a low-key way. All subtle and cat like, like in nature programs where you see a young deer frolicking and three seconds later a bush rustles and six seconds later a jaguar is on top of it like they're about to hump and eleven seconds later the jaguar has ripped open their neck and is feasting on their small intestine. Subtle like that. So I put on my new Ralph Wiggum "I Dress Myself" shirt [he looks like a hobo, is wearing cord for a belt Jimbo-style, and his finger's in his nose] and put a jacket on over it before I go to school.
I do homework on the way because LEARNDING IS FUNDAMENTAL.
So I sit down and talk to some of my other friends in the class as we sit around and shoot the shit and she comes over and says hi and I take her in and say hi but really I'm rocking out to "Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle" as much as one can and still be the straw that stirs a conversation drink.
Then she reaches for me.
The possibility I was sleeping had occured to me, yes, it had. But the eyes are open, because...she wants to see the whole shirt. I was expecting that to come at a later point, but that'll teach me to rock out so fiercely to In Utero in mixed company.
Then after class, I sidestepped some girl, moved back to where I was walking, and nearly bowled her over. We had a good five-minute convo conversation.
Now then.
How long am I supposed to grieve here? Can I just move on like this? Do I start chasing New Girl? Do I try to get together with her, and does doing so make me a)codependent, b) an asshole, c) a codependent asshole, or d) other?
She's 19! 19! I'm a robust 22(and 37 months)! Is she just appealing to my intellect, or do the huge tracts of land have my groin cashing checks my heart can't cash? Or the freckles--freckles are criminally underrated.
In a completely unrelated note I'm half-debating whether to enter the school's (and my first) freestyle contest on Thursday. Money prizes if you finish top 3. Ve shall see.
Until the next...KUSIZZLE IN THE HIZZLE!
Currently playing: Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop" (really)
How did I end up doing on accident exactly what I wanted to do on purpose?
I dunno, maybe me piecing it together in my mind's eye again'll help shed some light on it.
I meant to get attention, but I was doing it in a low-key way. All subtle and cat like, like in nature programs where you see a young deer frolicking and three seconds later a bush rustles and six seconds later a jaguar is on top of it like they're about to hump and eleven seconds later the jaguar has ripped open their neck and is feasting on their small intestine. Subtle like that. So I put on my new Ralph Wiggum "I Dress Myself" shirt [he looks like a hobo, is wearing cord for a belt Jimbo-style, and his finger's in his nose] and put a jacket on over it before I go to school.
I do homework on the way because LEARNDING IS FUNDAMENTAL.
So I sit down and talk to some of my other friends in the class as we sit around and shoot the shit and she comes over and says hi and I take her in and say hi but really I'm rocking out to "Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle" as much as one can and still be the straw that stirs a conversation drink.
Then she reaches for me.
The possibility I was sleeping had occured to me, yes, it had. But the eyes are open, because...she wants to see the whole shirt. I was expecting that to come at a later point, but that'll teach me to rock out so fiercely to In Utero in mixed company.
Then after class, I sidestepped some girl, moved back to where I was walking, and nearly bowled her over. We had a good five-minute convo conversation.
Now then.
How long am I supposed to grieve here? Can I just move on like this? Do I start chasing New Girl? Do I try to get together with her, and does doing so make me a)codependent, b) an asshole, c) a codependent asshole, or d) other?
She's 19! 19! I'm a robust 22(and 37 months)! Is she just appealing to my intellect, or do the huge tracts of land have my groin cashing checks my heart can't cash? Or the freckles--freckles are criminally underrated.
In a completely unrelated note I'm half-debating whether to enter the school's (and my first) freestyle contest on Thursday. Money prizes if you finish top 3. Ve shall see.
Until the next...KUSIZZLE IN THE HIZZLE!
Currently playing: Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop" (really)
3/20/04
From The Home Office In The Corner Of The Polyphonic Spree
Dropped: "You Don't Know My Name", 4; "Are You Gonna Be My Girl", 7; "Weak And Powerless", 10
[10] Switchfoot => Meant To Live (N)
[09] Norah Jones => Sunrise (9)
[08] Kanye West => Through The Wire (3)
[07] the Darkness => I Believe In A Thing Called Love (1)
[06] Joss Stone => Fell In Love With A Boy (8)
[05] N.E.R.D. => She Wants To Move (5)
[04] Incubus => Megalomaniac (6)
[03] Kanye West => All Falls Down (N)
[02] Yellowcard => Ocean Avenue (N)
[01] G-Unit feat. Joe => Wanna Get To Know Ya (2)[2w]
Currently playing: Tonic's "You Wanted More"
Dropped: "You Don't Know My Name", 4; "Are You Gonna Be My Girl", 7; "Weak And Powerless", 10
[10] Switchfoot => Meant To Live (N)
[09] Norah Jones => Sunrise (9)
[08] Kanye West => Through The Wire (3)
[07] the Darkness => I Believe In A Thing Called Love (1)
[06] Joss Stone => Fell In Love With A Boy (8)
[05] N.E.R.D. => She Wants To Move (5)
[04] Incubus => Megalomaniac (6)
[03] Kanye West => All Falls Down (N)
[02] Yellowcard => Ocean Avenue (N)
[01] G-Unit feat. Joe => Wanna Get To Know Ya (2)[2w]
Currently playing: Tonic's "You Wanted More"
3/19/04
Awkward Much?
What a rousing start to the Friendship Era: 4 minutes, 3 awkward pauses and gaps. I don't know what to do with myself. Limbo S U C K S. I guess I am going through the five stages because right now I'm pretty firmly ensconced in anger. And I'm probably going to see her face-to-face for the first time since tomorrow. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh. Stop this world, I want to get off.
Currently playing: Rammstein's "Engel"
What a rousing start to the Friendship Era: 4 minutes, 3 awkward pauses and gaps. I don't know what to do with myself. Limbo S U C K S. I guess I am going through the five stages because right now I'm pretty firmly ensconced in anger. And I'm probably going to see her face-to-face for the first time since tomorrow. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh. Stop this world, I want to get off.
Currently playing: Rammstein's "Engel"
3/14/04
Can You See Me? Because I Was Under The Assumption That, In Fact, You Were Unable To
the running WrestleMania XX diary
What a confluence of events. It's pretty close to the time I met Iyari Limon and Kevin Smith within 24 hours of each other. Except in a funhouse mirror. In the Twilight Zone.
I dunno, first girlfriend breaks up with me--we'll see how that subplot plays out later--so my first response is mild confusion and the second is seeing my first live legal WWE/F pay-per-view [and WrestleF'nMania XX, at that] at Hooters. Hooters serves beer and has attractive women. This is either going to work out spectacularly or blow up horribly in my face before Triple H goes over, mark my words before the fact. (This blowing up, I mean, not the second. Unless it comes true.)
I'm looking forward to all the non-tag-title bouts, and the Jericho/Christian conclusion. By the way: THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY THIS CAN END. I will NOT argue this.
3:30 p.m. -- I am locked in, overlooking the ocean and boardwalk. So far I'm the only person here specifically for XX but it's the Hooters overlooking the ocean. The waitress looks like Topanga with a rack and is actually named Danielle. I smell trouble later. I've finally hit all the Hooters in the county; you may anoint me.
3:34 -- The UT/Kane package gets the next table's attention...
3:44 -- ...because I'm sitting next to the OTHER black smark in attendance. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction, am I right, Pugsley?!
3:48 -- Fellow fans start coming in. I am staring at Danielle's legs as if I can ascertain the meaning of life in them. Perhaps I can. I shall ruminate over this with a beer.
4:00 -- Hell yes, you are looking LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE at the Pacific Beach Hooters! Heineken #1 is ready! ¡Un rey mundial actitud! Me & Other Me have a Lesnar/Kane debate on who should come on out and wipe out the Harlem Boys Choir. I got 6:49 in the Spanish Announce Table destruction pool, by the way.
4:10 -- Double horns, bitch! Me & my Word Life throwback (hi, Johnny) pop up out the seat and do our mandatory duty only to see about 10 others follow suit. The crowd changed faster than a Tara Reid boyfriend.
4:18 -- Holy hell, the cobra clutch! More importantly, I have disposed of this beer. Serving wench, fetch me another!
4:22 -- WHOO Cena wins the belt. That false finish scared the hell out of me, thus serving its purpose. It's a shame Matt Hardy jumped, he would've made excellent opening Thuganomics fodder. Whatever happened TO Matt, anyway, I think he poured that second Heineken...
4:25 -- Randy Orton cuts the Evolution promo so of course talk shifts to Flair being awesome. Other me, re: Orton spitting on Mick: "I've seen people get shot for less."
4:29 -- The RAW tag team fourway; I'd take a piss but there's only one beer in me. Man, the set is pimped out. Somewhere to the north of me, Snoop & Don Magic Juan are saying "Preach."
4:33 -- Topanga goes on her break and gets replaced with one that looks like Emily from the Dixie Chicks. How big a downgrade this is is the sort of thing one can settle over a cold adult beverage.
4:35 -- Uh, someone want to tell Batista those punk kids Cade & Jindrak took his trunks?
4:38 -- First en masse OOHs come over RVD's Five Star bump and the Cinco Estrellas for him proper.
4:41 -- Big pop for Gene, even bigger one for We--Heenan, and disgust over Mae & Moolah. So THIS is where they've been holding the local smark meetings! Thanks for the heads up, fuckers!
4:44 -- Did I just walk in the crib got two kids and my ex-baby mama late 'cause UH-OH UH-OH UH-OH. Y2J/Christian this early with faces going over in the first two matches? On the one hand I don't think they should but on the other claw-like deformity the possibility of Evil Brunette Trish would give me wrist fuel for months. As usual, I have no point. Except Christian's been SUCH an excellent James Spader in "Pretty In Pink".
4:59 -- Christian busting out the tornado reverse DDT! RULES! Flashback! RULES! TEJAS MUTHAFUCKIN CLOVERLEAF! HELLA Rules!
5:01 -- Who had first blown spot in the pool? Shane? EDGECUTION FROM CHRISTIAN. This match rules all.
5:06 -- Aw, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
5:08 -- I ain't gonna say nuthin' but that ain't right.
5:10 -- Big in-house pop for Snuka. Mmm...imported beer. Mmm...breasts.
5:20 -- Everyone gets a good laugh from Flair going up top. To quote Rob's reaction to "Baby I Love Your Way" in High Fidelity: Why? Batista shows up, thus being the sign to hit the can.
5:21 -- The can rules, they took the sports apart page by page and hung it up on clamps right above the stalls.
5:23 -- Man did that Foley bump over the stairs get everyone's attention.
5:28 -- The Flair/Rock Dueling People's Elbow segment debuts in Hooters at #4 on the Things That Are Too Goddamn Awesome Whether You Follow Wrestling Or Not chart.
5:31 -- RKf'nO! Who told ya?! I told ya! (I said Rock, but still...)
5:40 -- What the hell, Kane didn't come out and kill Pete? What the fuck is up with that?
5:41 -- Only in the E could woofing constitute condolences and well-wishes.
5:44 -- While I'm here, let me pick a bone with Jake for counting this as a match. WHO. CARES. Side note to uppity smarts: these sorts of "matches" are much easier to take when you've got booze in you.
5:48 -- Blur. It's all a blur.
5:59 -- I need the Eddie Scarface ripoff N O O O O O W W W W W W.
6:00 -- and all is well! Big pop for Rey. Buzz.
6:05 -- Who had it in the First Holy Shit pool?
6:12 -- People are jacked for Brock/Goldberg. I'm still pissed about them jobbing Funaki out like that. Bastards. Well, THIS oughta be interesting.
6:25 -- "They're both big. They're both strong. We get the message."
6:32 -- Man is New York taking a shit on this. Not that I blame them.
6:33 -- "OH!"
6:34 -- "OH!"
6:35 -- "YEAH!"
6:37 -- "ahahahahahahaha!" "OH!" "YEAH!" That's right, the final five minutes of Goldberg/Lesnar and the ensuing aftermath were brought to you by Lil' Jon.
6:41 -- Big pop for XXI being in Staples up the road. What the hell, I might try to go.
6:42 -- Is this my fifth beer or did Vince not get Stunned? Both? Oh.
6:57 -- Team Angle got PRISONRAPED.
7:00 -- Molly IS the new age Malenko. (Thought brought to you by Tanvir Raquib.)
7:07 -- Eddy/Kurt video package sends about 10 guys into the can since we all saw it in the Free For All. Team Angle, anyone?
7:13 -- Hell. Yes.
7:29 -- Tazz: Sometimes you gotta punch a guy in the face. Preach.
7:34 -- Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?! Kurt kicked out?!
7:36 -- Motherfucking Eddie~! I guess Big Nose is going over.
7:43 -- HUGE pop for Bearer. "This is like every horror movie EVER."
7:44 -- *BONG*
7:44:01 -- YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
7:53 -- Okay, someone clarify something for me: is that still Old School? Is it now New School? Is it Throwback School, and if so doesn't that infringe on Cena's gimmick? H B O help a brother out.
8:06 -- Hefner's reffing and I got 8:21 in the bump pool. I can't believe the SAT is still standing. It's not quite Hankless Loyola Marymount making the 16 but it's right up there.
8:08 -- HA ha this cost me at least $30 less plus Hooters. I know where I'm coming for SummerSlam.
8:20 -- The crowd is firmly behind Benoit.
8:22 -- Crowd loved the hHh interference spot where he kept Michaels from tapping out. That was pretty cool.
8:24 -- The Smack!Down table went before the Spanish? What is this, the Parallel Universe?
8:25 -- Huge pop for the cameramen bumps. It's not really a WrestleMania until someone who doesn't has to takes a huge bump. Whatever happened to that great WOW referee, he would've flown into Brooklyn.
8:28 -- Ross finally uses "crimson mask" and how well is it set up that no one really bled hard before this?
8:29 -- Sharpshooter spot. I scream RING THE FUCKING BELL. Everyone's yelling "TAP!" and pounding the tables. The waitresses are shocked and frightened--I'm almost positive they didn't stop stripping for this.
8:30 -- I remember yelling "TAP! TAP OUT! TAP THE FUCK OUT!" at the top of my lungs.
8:31 -- HELL. MOTHER. FUCKING. YES. Somewhere in the back Booker T and Van Dam share a good cry, but that doesn't change the fact: HELL. MOTHER. FUCKING. YES.
Look, as a Net fan I loved Eddie & Chris. But I was convinced they were going to be side dishes for life no matter how good they tasted to yes you me myself and I'n for various reasons (too small, Triple H, too ethnic, Triple H, can't cut a promo, Triple H, Triple H, Triple H). So you can imagine my giddy schoolboyish delight to see them be the litmus tests as the respective champions of the World. I followed Benoit since he started in WCW, Eddie right around the tail of the Art Barr tag team 10+ ago, so for them to be standing on the biggest stage in the world as The Men...maaaaaaaaan.
I tell you what, maybe it was the environment or getting a lot of what I want, but that four and a half flew by in a double horns throwup. I'd actually put this second to X7, and maybe first since I haven't seen X7 in quite some time. I'm excited for the future, hopeful to see them continue to back Benoit and Guerrero, psyched for US Champion Cena (even if he didn't hit the Joe Budden Elbow tongiht) and tomorrow night starts Jericho's Inigo Montoyaesque Path Of Rage. Plus, I bet Evil Trish is into anal and the Donkey Punch. That's right, I said it. I may have to co-#1 her with Alba.
SO fucking there.
Currently playing: Bob Marley & the Wailers' "Lively Up Yourself"
the running WrestleMania XX diary
What a confluence of events. It's pretty close to the time I met Iyari Limon and Kevin Smith within 24 hours of each other. Except in a funhouse mirror. In the Twilight Zone.
I dunno, first girlfriend breaks up with me--we'll see how that subplot plays out later--so my first response is mild confusion and the second is seeing my first live legal WWE/F pay-per-view [and WrestleF'nMania XX, at that] at Hooters. Hooters serves beer and has attractive women. This is either going to work out spectacularly or blow up horribly in my face before Triple H goes over, mark my words before the fact. (This blowing up, I mean, not the second. Unless it comes true.)
I'm looking forward to all the non-tag-title bouts, and the Jericho/Christian conclusion. By the way: THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY THIS CAN END. I will NOT argue this.
3:30 p.m. -- I am locked in, overlooking the ocean and boardwalk. So far I'm the only person here specifically for XX but it's the Hooters overlooking the ocean. The waitress looks like Topanga with a rack and is actually named Danielle. I smell trouble later. I've finally hit all the Hooters in the county; you may anoint me.
3:34 -- The UT/Kane package gets the next table's attention...
3:44 -- ...because I'm sitting next to the OTHER black smark in attendance. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction, am I right, Pugsley?!
3:48 -- Fellow fans start coming in. I am staring at Danielle's legs as if I can ascertain the meaning of life in them. Perhaps I can. I shall ruminate over this with a beer.
4:00 -- Hell yes, you are looking LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE at the Pacific Beach Hooters! Heineken #1 is ready! ¡Un rey mundial actitud! Me & Other Me have a Lesnar/Kane debate on who should come on out and wipe out the Harlem Boys Choir. I got 6:49 in the Spanish Announce Table destruction pool, by the way.
4:10 -- Double horns, bitch! Me & my Word Life throwback (hi, Johnny) pop up out the seat and do our mandatory duty only to see about 10 others follow suit. The crowd changed faster than a Tara Reid boyfriend.
4:18 -- Holy hell, the cobra clutch! More importantly, I have disposed of this beer. Serving wench, fetch me another!
4:22 -- WHOO Cena wins the belt. That false finish scared the hell out of me, thus serving its purpose. It's a shame Matt Hardy jumped, he would've made excellent opening Thuganomics fodder. Whatever happened TO Matt, anyway, I think he poured that second Heineken...
4:25 -- Randy Orton cuts the Evolution promo so of course talk shifts to Flair being awesome. Other me, re: Orton spitting on Mick: "I've seen people get shot for less."
4:29 -- The RAW tag team fourway; I'd take a piss but there's only one beer in me. Man, the set is pimped out. Somewhere to the north of me, Snoop & Don Magic Juan are saying "Preach."
4:33 -- Topanga goes on her break and gets replaced with one that looks like Emily from the Dixie Chicks. How big a downgrade this is is the sort of thing one can settle over a cold adult beverage.
4:35 -- Uh, someone want to tell Batista those punk kids Cade & Jindrak took his trunks?
4:38 -- First en masse OOHs come over RVD's Five Star bump and the Cinco Estrellas for him proper.
4:41 -- Big pop for Gene, even bigger one for We--Heenan, and disgust over Mae & Moolah. So THIS is where they've been holding the local smark meetings! Thanks for the heads up, fuckers!
4:44 -- Did I just walk in the crib got two kids and my ex-baby mama late 'cause UH-OH UH-OH UH-OH. Y2J/Christian this early with faces going over in the first two matches? On the one hand I don't think they should but on the other claw-like deformity the possibility of Evil Brunette Trish would give me wrist fuel for months. As usual, I have no point. Except Christian's been SUCH an excellent James Spader in "Pretty In Pink".
4:59 -- Christian busting out the tornado reverse DDT! RULES! Flashback! RULES! TEJAS MUTHAFUCKIN CLOVERLEAF! HELLA Rules!
5:01 -- Who had first blown spot in the pool? Shane? EDGECUTION FROM CHRISTIAN. This match rules all.
5:06 -- Aw, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
5:08 -- I ain't gonna say nuthin' but that ain't right.
5:10 -- Big in-house pop for Snuka. Mmm...imported beer. Mmm...breasts.
5:20 -- Everyone gets a good laugh from Flair going up top. To quote Rob's reaction to "Baby I Love Your Way" in High Fidelity: Why? Batista shows up, thus being the sign to hit the can.
5:21 -- The can rules, they took the sports apart page by page and hung it up on clamps right above the stalls.
5:23 -- Man did that Foley bump over the stairs get everyone's attention.
5:28 -- The Flair/Rock Dueling People's Elbow segment debuts in Hooters at #4 on the Things That Are Too Goddamn Awesome Whether You Follow Wrestling Or Not chart.
5:31 -- RKf'nO! Who told ya?! I told ya! (I said Rock, but still...)
5:40 -- What the hell, Kane didn't come out and kill Pete? What the fuck is up with that?
5:41 -- Only in the E could woofing constitute condolences and well-wishes.
5:44 -- While I'm here, let me pick a bone with Jake for counting this as a match. WHO. CARES. Side note to uppity smarts: these sorts of "matches" are much easier to take when you've got booze in you.
5:48 -- Blur. It's all a blur.
5:59 -- I need the Eddie Scarface ripoff N O O O O O W W W W W W.
6:00 -- and all is well! Big pop for Rey. Buzz.
6:05 -- Who had it in the First Holy Shit pool?
6:12 -- People are jacked for Brock/Goldberg. I'm still pissed about them jobbing Funaki out like that. Bastards. Well, THIS oughta be interesting.
6:25 -- "They're both big. They're both strong. We get the message."
6:32 -- Man is New York taking a shit on this. Not that I blame them.
6:33 -- "OH!"
6:34 -- "OH!"
6:35 -- "YEAH!"
6:37 -- "ahahahahahahaha!" "OH!" "YEAH!" That's right, the final five minutes of Goldberg/Lesnar and the ensuing aftermath were brought to you by Lil' Jon.
6:41 -- Big pop for XXI being in Staples up the road. What the hell, I might try to go.
6:42 -- Is this my fifth beer or did Vince not get Stunned? Both? Oh.
6:57 -- Team Angle got PRISONRAPED.
7:00 -- Molly IS the new age Malenko. (Thought brought to you by Tanvir Raquib.)
7:07 -- Eddy/Kurt video package sends about 10 guys into the can since we all saw it in the Free For All. Team Angle, anyone?
7:13 -- Hell. Yes.
7:29 -- Tazz: Sometimes you gotta punch a guy in the face. Preach.
7:34 -- Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?! Kurt kicked out?!
7:36 -- Motherfucking Eddie~! I guess Big Nose is going over.
7:43 -- HUGE pop for Bearer. "This is like every horror movie EVER."
7:44 -- *BONG*
7:44:01 -- YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
7:53 -- Okay, someone clarify something for me: is that still Old School? Is it now New School? Is it Throwback School, and if so doesn't that infringe on Cena's gimmick? H B O help a brother out.
8:06 -- Hefner's reffing and I got 8:21 in the bump pool. I can't believe the SAT is still standing. It's not quite Hankless Loyola Marymount making the 16 but it's right up there.
8:08 -- HA ha this cost me at least $30 less plus Hooters. I know where I'm coming for SummerSlam.
8:20 -- The crowd is firmly behind Benoit.
8:22 -- Crowd loved the hHh interference spot where he kept Michaels from tapping out. That was pretty cool.
8:24 -- The Smack!Down table went before the Spanish? What is this, the Parallel Universe?
8:25 -- Huge pop for the cameramen bumps. It's not really a WrestleMania until someone who doesn't has to takes a huge bump. Whatever happened to that great WOW referee, he would've flown into Brooklyn.
8:28 -- Ross finally uses "crimson mask" and how well is it set up that no one really bled hard before this?
8:29 -- Sharpshooter spot. I scream RING THE FUCKING BELL. Everyone's yelling "TAP!" and pounding the tables. The waitresses are shocked and frightened--I'm almost positive they didn't stop stripping for this.
8:30 -- I remember yelling "TAP! TAP OUT! TAP THE FUCK OUT!" at the top of my lungs.
8:31 -- HELL. MOTHER. FUCKING. YES. Somewhere in the back Booker T and Van Dam share a good cry, but that doesn't change the fact: HELL. MOTHER. FUCKING. YES.
Look, as a Net fan I loved Eddie & Chris. But I was convinced they were going to be side dishes for life no matter how good they tasted to yes you me myself and I'n for various reasons (too small, Triple H, too ethnic, Triple H, can't cut a promo, Triple H, Triple H, Triple H). So you can imagine my giddy schoolboyish delight to see them be the litmus tests as the respective champions of the World. I followed Benoit since he started in WCW, Eddie right around the tail of the Art Barr tag team 10+ ago, so for them to be standing on the biggest stage in the world as The Men...maaaaaaaaan.
I tell you what, maybe it was the environment or getting a lot of what I want, but that four and a half flew by in a double horns throwup. I'd actually put this second to X7, and maybe first since I haven't seen X7 in quite some time. I'm excited for the future, hopeful to see them continue to back Benoit and Guerrero, psyched for US Champion Cena (even if he didn't hit the Joe Budden Elbow tongiht) and tomorrow night starts Jericho's Inigo Montoyaesque Path Of Rage. Plus, I bet Evil Trish is into anal and the Donkey Punch. That's right, I said it. I may have to co-#1 her with Alba.
SO fucking there.
Currently playing: Bob Marley & the Wailers' "Lively Up Yourself"
I Mean It Was A REALLY Bad Shift
Currently playing: Jeff Buckley's "Last Goodbye", a lot
Didn't even make it to a month.
She broke up with me. And we're still going to be friends.
And it hurts, but...
...I'm not crying. (At least YET.) She has a lot of intrafamiliar drama, and she's sort of depressed about facing adulthood, and it wasn't like we got to spend a multitude of time together.
I get the feeling I should be feeling something more, or feeling something besides slight disorientation. Maybe because she was first. Maybe because the lechery part of the frontal lobe is already eyeing the twinkie in Spanish.
I don't know, I just...
I think I'm still partially deluding myself into this being a temporary thing and once she has her head on straight we'll be back together.
I just couldn't make her stay knowing things bigger than me are on her horizon. Is this something deficient in me? Should I have made her? Should I have pulled a Natalie and just not recognized it? Or is the fact she still likes me a lot and still wants me in her life...
...10 weeks into the year, met, fell, dated, broke up. Wow.
Tomorrow's either WrestleMania and/or getting drunk (possibly with friends), I know that much.
Man, you wake up one day and everything's great, you go to sleep and there's...this.
this is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
but it's over
just do this and then I'll go
you gave me more to live for
more than you'll ever know
Currently playing: Jeff Buckley's "Last Goodbye", a lot
Didn't even make it to a month.
She broke up with me. And we're still going to be friends.
And it hurts, but...
...I'm not crying. (At least YET.) She has a lot of intrafamiliar drama, and she's sort of depressed about facing adulthood, and it wasn't like we got to spend a multitude of time together.
I get the feeling I should be feeling something more, or feeling something besides slight disorientation. Maybe because she was first. Maybe because the lechery part of the frontal lobe is already eyeing the twinkie in Spanish.
I don't know, I just...
I think I'm still partially deluding myself into this being a temporary thing and once she has her head on straight we'll be back together.
I just couldn't make her stay knowing things bigger than me are on her horizon. Is this something deficient in me? Should I have made her? Should I have pulled a Natalie and just not recognized it? Or is the fact she still likes me a lot and still wants me in her life...
...10 weeks into the year, met, fell, dated, broke up. Wow.
Tomorrow's either WrestleMania and/or getting drunk (possibly with friends), I know that much.
Man, you wake up one day and everything's great, you go to sleep and there's...this.
this is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
but it's over
just do this and then I'll go
you gave me more to live for
more than you'll ever know
3/7/04
The French Term Is Shitfuck
Well, I did the nice guerrilla thing today. But we couldn't catch a flick or go to eat. We talked again for about another two hours, and I moved in for the kill, and
I shit you not, folks
this is the exact moment my dad pulls into the drive.
Goodbye, beautiful moment. Maybe we can do something next Saturday night or Sunday.
To quote our movie, this--this is a FUCK!
Currently playing: Switchfoot's "Meant To Live"
Well, I did the nice guerrilla thing today. But we couldn't catch a flick or go to eat. We talked again for about another two hours, and I moved in for the kill, and
I shit you not, folks
this is the exact moment my dad pulls into the drive.
Goodbye, beautiful moment. Maybe we can do something next Saturday night or Sunday.
To quote our movie, this--this is a FUCK!
Currently playing: Switchfoot's "Meant To Live"
3/6/04
From The Home Office In The Championship Vinyl Storeroom
Dropped: "Moses (live)", 7; "The Way You Move", 9
[10] A Perfect Circle => Weak And Powerless (6)
[09] Norah Jones => Sunrise (10)*
[08] Joss Stone feat. the Roots => Fell In Love With A Boy (8)*
[07] Jet => Are You Gonna Be My Girl (3)
[06] Incubus => Megalomaniac (N)*
[05] N.E.R.D. => She Wants To Move (5)*
[04] Alicia Keys => You Don't Know My Name (2)
[03] Kanye West => Through The Wire (4)*
[02] G-Unit feat. Joe => Wanna Get To Know Ya (N)*
[01] the Darkness => I Believe In A Thing Called Love (1) [6w]
Currently playing: Denis Leary's "Asshole"
Dropped: "Moses (live)", 7; "The Way You Move", 9
[10] A Perfect Circle => Weak And Powerless (6)
[09] Norah Jones => Sunrise (10)*
[08] Joss Stone feat. the Roots => Fell In Love With A Boy (8)*
[07] Jet => Are You Gonna Be My Girl (3)
[06] Incubus => Megalomaniac (N)*
[05] N.E.R.D. => She Wants To Move (5)*
[04] Alicia Keys => You Don't Know My Name (2)
[03] Kanye West => Through The Wire (4)*
[02] G-Unit feat. Joe => Wanna Get To Know Ya (N)*
[01] the Darkness => I Believe In A Thing Called Love (1) [6w]
Currently playing: Denis Leary's "Asshole"
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