oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.
Chris Bridges--known to y'all as Ludacris but we tight like that (dodging lightning bolt...now)--asked after a few songs if we were tired. I was a little bit then. I really am now that the 40 oz. of Mountain Dew it took me 10 minutes to drink removed itself in 1/100th the time and the adrenaline rush is starting to dwindle and cause me to crash.
But he did nothing wrong. It was just an Angus burger right after a bunch of us had filet mignon off a supermodel's ass, and well, it was a unwinnable situation.
It started at 6. I went a little earlier than I thought I would, and as a result the Killers played the hors d'oeuvere of my muscial meal. When it went well, "Indie Rock & Roll", "All These Things That I've Done" and the DAMN IT TO PUS-SPEWING BLOOD-GUTTED HELL catchy "Somebody Told Me", it held my attention. And when it didn't, I looked at girls. So, fine job by the Killers. Sometimes. 6.
After that, it was shortly time for the Black Eyed Peas. They did "Joints & Jams", but not "Request Line" which surprised the hell out of me due to Fergie. Speaking of which: black sports bra with K-Day on it, red jacket opened all the way, plaid pants she must've stolen from Avril Lavigne. Very few ex-strippers can sing but she p...she's NOT? Could've fooled the fuck out of me, by "Hey Mama" I was ready to divest myself of some ones. And, of course, MY PANTS. Yes, you're funny. Go have a cupcake. Anyway, it was heavy on Elephunk, fuck Bush talk, and a nice close-out with some drawnout "Let's Get Retarded" & "Where Is The Love?" Fergie climbed the side scaffold a little and made sweet love to it, so I guess it was there. 8.
Luda did a one-man hit parade and threw in "Growing Pains", "Bia Bia" and his "Holidae In" & "YEAH!" hooks. His DJ used the hook from "Run's House", so fucking A. Still, though... 7.
Now, I'm missing something key in the middle, post-Peas, pre-Luda. I'll pause while you put the kids to bed.
(hums)
(looks)
(hums)
For a few years now, I have believed George Clinton & the P-Funk All-Stars was the best concert I have ever gone to. They went damn near five hours. The cops had to shut it down at 2 in the morning. People walked out into the night yelling "Ain't no partay like a P-Funk partay cause a P-Funk party don't stooooooop!" after having done so for the last ten minutes when the instruments were forcibly deplugged by the police. Plus, all the hits went on for like fifteen minutes each.
So you can see why I thought that.
This is what happens at 9:12 Pacific Standard Time, August 27th, 2004.
A Tribe Called Quest proceeds to, so far, make my year. And possibly my decade.
You know that VMA from like two years ago when GnR reunited and they teased it through the show and you got all amped up and then they did their medley of stuff and you realized you'd just bought the blue and white box that said CORN FLAKES instead of the good one with Kellogg's and the rooster on it?
This WAS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THAT. It was so good that in the first ten minutes I became deathly afraid of two things: suffering a heart attack that was going to cause me to miss the rest of this, and busting a nut.
Oh, it was that good.
Right off the outset, they kicked my ass. Then, they kicked my ass. This was followed by a review of the old minutes; namely, kicking my ass. From there it was on to the new minutes--"Bonita Applebum"; i.e., more ways to kick my ass. I've been looking for ways to describe just how fucking awesome this was without falling back on the overused "transcendant" but it keeps breaking down to cliches: sweeter than your memories of first love (though considering one of the participants, sweeter than Ben & Jerry might be more applicable), doper than Tyrone Biggums, fresher than your grandmama's fried chicken recpie, hyper than Heidenreich, sicker than a leper, phatter than the Farm...
....suffice to say, if I ever have sex with Jessica Alba & Brooke Burke and they come dressed as a stern teacher and a naughty Catholic schoolgirl, it will be the Tribe Called Quest show of flagrante delecto. Did I mention the encore started off with that Lou Reed "Walk On the Wild Side" hook ["Can I Kick It?"] and went right into "Award Tour" & "Scenario"? (Add chocolate syrup to that dream threeway up there.)
Fun side part about the New Best Show Of All-Time, the First: I loved the RHCP Labor Day I went to a few years ago because there was such a communal atmosphere. Probably because of all the weed, but still. (Side to the aside: got offered five times, and reluctantly passed ALL of them. I love my weed...but not as much as I love money. The End.) THIS was on that level, except far more people. Everyone seemed not just happy and hyped, but overjoyed they got this moment; I heard from a number of people as I walked around riding numerous demographic and social strata that this was The Reason they showed up. A bunch of college kids who probably didn't have this much fun since they thought Santa was real just giving in to the sheer force of awesome the moment projected.
FSPAtNBSOA-T, the Second: Everyone yelling QUEST! QUEST! QUEST! They come out for the encore, and the Lou Reed hook goes on. I was talking to a guy before it started (we'd been in the Peas show and moved up front as the idiots left when they finished) and we both started talking ATCQ and how great this was going to be and how I was going to lose my shit when they did "Award Tour". The hook goes on, and we both scream. Like white bitches in a scary movie. It gets better. "Award Tour" comes up, and we're both jumping up and down and hitting each other in the chest and having TRL markouts. I mean, practically on the verge of tears. Keep in mind we are grown men and this is not a playoffs situation. But we're flipping like we're on a spatula. I still don't know that guy's name.
But fucking "Award Tour", man.
And the Third: the Peas were supposed to sign autographs of their stuff once they'd vacated the stage. Apparently, they didn't, because they were just off-stage watching Quest. And by watching, I mean dancing. Fergie & Will.I.Am had the biggest stupid grins on their face throughout.
They almost matched mine.
So, other than the Low End Theory shirt costing $30 (which I'm sure I'll regret at some point--just not any time soon) this was a success with a capital HERE WE GO YO HERE WE GO YO SO WHAT SO WHAT SO WHAT'S THE SCENARIO. I mean, I could go see P.O.D., Cypress Hill & the Foo Fighters there after work tomorrow, but after the first Quest show since first-term Bubba and the only Westside show...what's the point?
Boy, work in 10½ is going to be interesting...
Ambient music: Talking Heads - Take Me To the River (Al Green)
8/28/04
8/26/04
Plus Nobody I Know Got Killed In South Central L.A....
- Despite being off for a whole week, got up 10 MINUTES AHEAD of the alarm.
- Only had a six-hour shift, and the church people present weren't overly preachy.
- Got to stun and amaze fellow coworkers with my Saturday night story, which due to Watergate memory loss as a result of all the fun I don't think I can write about fully. I will hit the highpoints: best club in town, bachelorette party, and 14 beers in two hours.
- Got a certificate of appreciation for $50 from The Man for free groceries! I smell Homer Simpson Night III!
- Found a place where not only you can cook your own meat but hot babes will be there wearing all black. And just scored a free entree from them, with a one-day advance ticket purchase to Street Scene '04.
- ON TOP OF the free meal where you can see a bigger-breasted Natalie Portman in stockings (and sweet pappy johnson with an erection am I looking forward to THAT), I will be seeing the following artists tomorrow: the Black Eyed Peas (is a I PAID TO SEE FERGIE'S ABS sign inappropriate?), the reunited A Tribe Called Quest in their ONLY West Coast appearance (WHO ARE YOU TO DOUBT KHALID GREENE'S #1 CHOICE?!) and, oh, yes, some little indy guy from the south called Ludacris who may make something of himself yet.
- And the Old 97's are coming to town.
Can I get a HELL YEAH from the congregation?!
Ambient music: Mos Def - Close Edge (from Chappelle's Show)
8/21/04
Garden State Of Mind
*****.
Holy hell, did that just kick my fucking ass and pimp me out on the corner for weed money. I am full-on in love with Natalie Portman now. The soundtrack's a gots-to-have. I nominate the M E T H O D man for Best Supporting Actor now, by the way. Five more minutes and I would've left crying like a little bitch. So far, my Best-Movie-Of-'04-That-ISN'T-Volume-2, juuuuuuuuuust ahead of Spidey II. I recommend this so much I'd pay full price to see it again. And will probably do so this week.
Ambient music: Prince - Let's Go Crazy
Holy hell, did that just kick my fucking ass and pimp me out on the corner for weed money. I am full-on in love with Natalie Portman now. The soundtrack's a gots-to-have. I nominate the M E T H O D man for Best Supporting Actor now, by the way. Five more minutes and I would've left crying like a little bitch. So far, my Best-Movie-Of-'04-That-ISN'T-Volume-2, juuuuuuuuuust ahead of Spidey II. I recommend this so much I'd pay full price to see it again. And will probably do so this week.
Ambient music: Prince - Let's Go Crazy
You Say I'm Overdue For This, I Say You're Overdue For Some...
My mouth tastes like the inside of something that should have a eulogy done for it; namely lime and Corona, which means I had another ep of DWB (Drinking While Black).
There is nothing to make a man feel more uncool than to be 25, single, and at a desolate laundromat on a Friday night. So once I got home I stimulated my cell. (UNTRUE, in retrospect: the moment the car made the 3 block journey home I was texting like Farnsworth Bentley) So me & my googlelicious friend Aaron go to this bar in PB to meet his sister and their friend or some such; I just needed to Not Be In The House. And I get a phone call that bums him out, which depresses me 'cause I'm in the mist of making new drinking buddies and whatnot.
Now I'm looking at this business card a girl named Cynthia with a hot friend named Veronica left me. Cynthia is a prototypical naughty librarian: glasses, brunette with long hair, tig ol' bitties. I was trying to lean her towards Aaron 'cause of his "WHEN LORD WHEN" look but we just happened to get along better. Partially due to the natural gregariousness and partially due to the sweet, suhweet nectar of the Latino gods. I'm so tempted to call. We'll see what happens at the club in a few hours I guess and then I'll reassess the option(s). Mmm...naughty librarian. Church.
There's a midget getting naked on Stern which if nothing else is a sign to toetag this fucker...
Ambient music: Hayseed Dixie - Back In Black
There is nothing to make a man feel more uncool than to be 25, single, and at a desolate laundromat on a Friday night. So once I got home I stimulated my cell. (UNTRUE, in retrospect: the moment the car made the 3 block journey home I was texting like Farnsworth Bentley) So me & my googlelicious friend Aaron go to this bar in PB to meet his sister and their friend or some such; I just needed to Not Be In The House. And I get a phone call that bums him out, which depresses me 'cause I'm in the mist of making new drinking buddies and whatnot.
Now I'm looking at this business card a girl named Cynthia with a hot friend named Veronica left me. Cynthia is a prototypical naughty librarian: glasses, brunette with long hair, tig ol' bitties. I was trying to lean her towards Aaron 'cause of his "WHEN LORD WHEN" look but we just happened to get along better. Partially due to the natural gregariousness and partially due to the sweet, suhweet nectar of the Latino gods. I'm so tempted to call. We'll see what happens at the club in a few hours I guess and then I'll reassess the option(s). Mmm...naughty librarian. Church.
There's a midget getting naked on Stern which if nothing else is a sign to toetag this fucker...
Ambient music: Hayseed Dixie - Back In Black
Pocket 10
Obit: "Talk Shows On Mute", 10
(10) Modest Mouse => Float On (9)
(09) Faithless => Mass Destruction (7)
(08) Franz Ferdinand => Take Me Out (6)
(07) Jay-Z => 99 Problems (2)
(06) the Hives => Walk Idiot Walk (5)
(05) Pitbull ft. Lil' Jon => Culo (debut)*
(04) Kanye West => Jesus Walks (3)
(03) Maroon 5 => She Will Be Loved (8)*
(02) Juvenile => Slow Motion (4)*
(01) Black Eyed Peas => Let's Get Retarded (1) [1m]
Ambient music: Incubus - Nice To Know You
(10) Modest Mouse => Float On (9)
(09) Faithless => Mass Destruction (7)
(08) Franz Ferdinand => Take Me Out (6)
(07) Jay-Z => 99 Problems (2)
(06) the Hives => Walk Idiot Walk (5)
(05) Pitbull ft. Lil' Jon => Culo (debut)*
(04) Kanye West => Jesus Walks (3)
(03) Maroon 5 => She Will Be Loved (8)*
(02) Juvenile => Slow Motion (4)*
(01) Black Eyed Peas => Let's Get Retarded (1) [1m]
Ambient music: Incubus - Nice To Know You
8/19/04
Surveillance Photos From the Biggest Con of Them All
Shout to the original husband of Lita, the H-Bomb. (Even if he thinks I should've asked for some digits or an e-mail from Iyari. Then I could've hugged some snakes! Yes! Hug and kiss some POISONOUS SNAKES!)
Here it is, BAM! And you say godDAMN, this is the dope jam...
I was not fooled by their stocky physiques. The news on the other hand...
1 (giant) carrot? GOLD!
I don't care: even WITH Slimer Beatrix would whup their asses
"You don't have any weapons in that bag, do you, sir?" "Me? Uh....no..."
Dear Michael Dupin,
Yes, I really do hate you.
Sincerely,
GOD
Joss wrote me out as a sacrifice to the god of ecumenical politics! I was s'pose'da be the fourth nerd, Rufus...
Hey! A picture where I look dark!
Adam? Evil? Pfft, you give him a box of Nilla wafers and check the pearly whites.
www.robialamorte (is STILL damn fine).com
Friendly girl, but the restraining order from '97 isn't up until '07, sooooo...
Here's a sample. Now multiply that by about 800.
"Like a shot with that camera, you fanboy fuck."
First one to find Waldo wins
The family that nerds together...
"Is that Kristen Kreuk? Hey, just because my buddy's gay..."
Me to Cartoon Network representative: Thank God I'm not high right now.
"Dammit, I ordered the cross-cut! Send it back, send it back!"
"So 15,000 nerds walk into a bar..."
Who you gonna call? Probably Kitana if she'd left me a number. But here's a Ghostbuster!
With their season already in jeopardy, the Chargers call on a New York native to help them get back to glory...
Jennifer Tilly, in tight black leather. Nothing funny about that.
And Jennifer Tilly taking a picture of the guy's Chucky tattoo on his leg. No, seriously.
I even went through the trouble of changing into my street clothes, but Alba's security still recognized my voice. *sigh*
As a thank you to Rob, here's a pic of him wearing his favorite shirt.
"First one to reference Holy Grail loses." "Deal."
"So this ISN'T the chiropractor's convention? Oh, fuck this, then!"
Turn ons include peanut butter cups, brunettes, and intellectual discourse. Turnoffs include uggos and fatties.
So that'll do you.
Ambient music: Garbage - Only Happy When It Rains
Here it is, BAM! And you say godDAMN, this is the dope jam...
I was not fooled by their stocky physiques. The news on the other hand...
1 (giant) carrot? GOLD!
I don't care: even WITH Slimer Beatrix would whup their asses
"You don't have any weapons in that bag, do you, sir?" "Me? Uh....no..."
Dear Michael Dupin,
Yes, I really do hate you.
Sincerely,
GOD
Joss wrote me out as a sacrifice to the god of ecumenical politics! I was s'pose'da be the fourth nerd, Rufus...
Hey! A picture where I look dark!
Adam? Evil? Pfft, you give him a box of Nilla wafers and check the pearly whites.
www.robialamorte (is STILL damn fine).com
Friendly girl, but the restraining order from '97 isn't up until '07, sooooo...
Here's a sample. Now multiply that by about 800.
"Like a shot with that camera, you fanboy fuck."
First one to find Waldo wins
The family that nerds together...
"Is that Kristen Kreuk? Hey, just because my buddy's gay..."
Me to Cartoon Network representative: Thank God I'm not high right now.
"Dammit, I ordered the cross-cut! Send it back, send it back!"
"So 15,000 nerds walk into a bar..."
Who you gonna call? Probably Kitana if she'd left me a number. But here's a Ghostbuster!
With their season already in jeopardy, the Chargers call on a New York native to help them get back to glory...
Jennifer Tilly, in tight black leather. Nothing funny about that.
And Jennifer Tilly taking a picture of the guy's Chucky tattoo on his leg. No, seriously.
I even went through the trouble of changing into my street clothes, but Alba's security still recognized my voice. *sigh*
As a thank you to Rob, here's a pic of him wearing his favorite shirt.
"First one to reference Holy Grail loses." "Deal."
"So this ISN'T the chiropractor's convention? Oh, fuck this, then!"
Turn ons include peanut butter cups, brunettes, and intellectual discourse. Turnoffs include uggos and fatties.
So that'll do you.
Ambient music: Garbage - Only Happy When It Rains
8/17/04
Biggest Con of Them All Photo Appetizer
The reason Wiccans like Willow probly can't stand me
'Cause I know the shirt'll make Kennedy come out them panties, BITCH!
I passed tastes great and miserably failed at less filling
Is that a Chasing Amy poster in my bag or am I happy to see them?
Not pictured: the part where he cut off my left ear
More to come? Bet your ass.
Ambient music: Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine - Bullet The Blue Sky
'Cause I know the shirt'll make Kennedy come out them panties, BITCH!
I passed tastes great and miserably failed at less filling
Is that a Chasing Amy poster in my bag or am I happy to see them?
Not pictured: the part where he cut off my left ear
More to come? Bet your ass.
Ambient music: Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine - Bullet The Blue Sky
8/15/04
Destiny? Sorry, She's Off Tonight
the running Summerslam diary
I expected everything should be solid, except for Eddie/Kurt, which will give me a low-level workrategasm.
Pre-game fortune cookie: YOU HAVE A KIND AND GENEROUS HEART.
Me: I think it's time for you to maybe start doing your damn job. I think it's time for you to end this facade of journalistic integrity. You know what you tell me? "You have a kind and generous heart!" You see, you're a powerful psychic, fortune cookie, you have got the ability to reach a lot of people, to spread the truth, and you neglect to do it. Let me ask you a couple of questions. What is it about my kind and generous heart that makes me any money? What is it about this gift from the heavens that always ends with me alone? Is that where the fun starts? Whoopee! Let the party begin! I can't believe you sit here and tell me that. Do I bring it on to myself? I haven't done a damn thing to YOU. All you've done to people is mislead them and let them think I'm having the time of my goddamn life when I'm in pain! Don't you look at me with that smug look. You make me sick. I ought to smack you...
[attacks with the mandible claw; screaming incoherently]
Can we get some help...? He's gonna need some help...
SHOUT OUT TO SAMMY C.!
4:40: I meet Jerel, a cohort in crime from my work in the Squared Circle and my wingman's wingman is Ernesto. Ernesto's a mark. This'll be fun. And sadly, I didn't notice the Crash-Shannon-v1 similarity until I just typed this.
5: 'Cause there ain't no cure for how much Rush sucks you are looking LIIIIIIIIIVE at the Mission Valley Hooters, with the Slam being brought to you bah Heineken as far as I'm concerned. Jerel would address you but he's busy macking the waitress. Keep in mind I am not getting any crowd reax (more on this later). In the Spanish announce table pool, Jerel has 6, Ernesto 6:05, and me 6:45.
5:08: I am such a mark for evil double-teaming it's not even funny.
5:14: Poetry in Tope Con Hilo! The muhfuggin HART ATTACK~! SSP! Man, that was as fun as I thought it'd be. Evil Spike may be my gimmick of the year after three shows.
5:18: Kane reminds me of the drunken uncle at every Southern family reunion. EVER.
5:24: Matt Hardy busts out a plancha for the first time in the new millennium, thus astounding us who are not manly and with an ACL injury would look for the nearest big-tittayed Swedish female massuse.
5:26: *watches the super chokeslam*
5:26:10: Matt Hardy was 28 years old.
5:29: Cena/Orton to main event 21 preview? Hmm...the set's nice but the half circle's throwing me for some reason.
5:31: We were just talked to by Keith Scott Zimmerman in 2024. ZOINKS. Ernesto: Booker T looks like the Predator, man. I have no idea how he delivered that bon mot and actually seemed concerned about what happened to Lex Luger, and frankly I'm not sure I want to.
5:37: There are MULTIPLE small children. In Hooters. Watching WWE. I'm going to repeat that, because it bears repeating.--Lewis Black There are multiple small children in Hooters watching professional wrestling. Jessica Marie Alba, no wonder everyone outside of this state thinks we're fucking nuts.
5:45: We are all suitably in awe of Batista, who looks like he's flexing while standing still. Ernesto says "Damn Canadians" at some point--without the crowd reaction--and I just don't have the heart to break it to him the two-decade strangehold Canadian stars have had on our shores.
5:56: No Christian?! BOOOO!
6: There's no sound. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem. All of a sudden I see Kurt Angle's Titantron. I can't yell YOU SUCK! The terrorists have won.
6:14: First ref bump, which I completely forgot to make a subpool for.
6:20: Guess who's favorite Olympian is all the way back up in this muthafucka?!
6:28: This has been some textbook old-school goodness to start: Eugene's reaction to the set and then Triple H, the have-I-reached-10? punch countalong, Triple H using Lillian as a shield and then kicking him in the head, the fake leg injury followed by a laugh and "What?" to the referee. By the way, people looked at me when I laughed hard at the heel stuff. Fuck 'em.
6:31: "YMCA" breaks out. No, really. If I had more than three beers I'd swear I was drunk.
6:37: Someone hit the Pedigree on Triple H. If I had more than three beers...
6:40: Diva Dodgeball starts. Next table over: "Who's that?" "Don't care." At HOOTERS? I Am In Shock.
6:43: "Don't hurt Gail!" Yes, that was me, why do you ask?
6:45: Clay over Liston. Jets over Colts. NC State over Phi Slamma Jamma. Buster Douglas KOing Mike Tyson. Ron Seigel sweeping Sakai. And the Searchers annihilating the Divas. Where was the Joy/Amy victory spanking, I ask you?
6:50: "All watching JBL does is remind me how much Ted DiBiase DIDN'T get to be champion." It was decided for Jim Ross' safety that he should not call this match.
7: A waitress is intrigued slash horrified by the first two hours of notes and tries to make sense of them all. Me to her: part of that's in Sanskrit, by the way.
7:05: The table comes to the consensus that we'd take a piss break but we'd definitely miss whatever the big thing is.
7:13: Dear WWE,
FUCK you. 20 minutes of my life gone, and I want them back PDf'nQ.
Signed,
All Fans Who Just Watched That Crime Against Everything Good In This World
7:17: Benoit doesn't show off the belt to both sides of the crowd, thus ensuring a loss. It's nice to be a smark with someone else around.
7:24: The tope to nowhere gets everybody's attention. Broken neck? I scoff at your broken neck!
7:40: Jerel: "Did he win? CLEANLY?!"
About Orton: it is Way Too Goddamn Soon for the face turn, which shouldn't happen before '06. And they rushed him to the title to spite Brock, but I'd rather him be heel champ at this stage than face. What the fuck did Benoit NOT killify his ass, it wasn't like Toronto was going to turn him heel. Back in my day a handshake was Step 1 on the way to a beatdown.
JBL is becoming to title reigns what Christina Aguilera is to restraint. This is why we need a healthy Kurt Angle, so someone GOOD can hold the belt again. I heard Toronto took a Cleveland Steamer on UT. Good for them.
Well, RAW tomorrow ought be interesting as we deal with the repercussions of the Dodgeball squash. And the new champ and blah blah blah.
Ambient music: the Jam - A Town Called Malice
I expected everything should be solid, except for Eddie/Kurt, which will give me a low-level workrategasm.
Pre-game fortune cookie: YOU HAVE A KIND AND GENEROUS HEART.
Me: I think it's time for you to maybe start doing your damn job. I think it's time for you to end this facade of journalistic integrity. You know what you tell me? "You have a kind and generous heart!" You see, you're a powerful psychic, fortune cookie, you have got the ability to reach a lot of people, to spread the truth, and you neglect to do it. Let me ask you a couple of questions. What is it about my kind and generous heart that makes me any money? What is it about this gift from the heavens that always ends with me alone? Is that where the fun starts? Whoopee! Let the party begin! I can't believe you sit here and tell me that. Do I bring it on to myself? I haven't done a damn thing to YOU. All you've done to people is mislead them and let them think I'm having the time of my goddamn life when I'm in pain! Don't you look at me with that smug look. You make me sick. I ought to smack you...
[attacks with the mandible claw; screaming incoherently]
Can we get some help...? He's gonna need some help...
SHOUT OUT TO SAMMY C.!
4:40: I meet Jerel, a cohort in crime from my work in the Squared Circle and my wingman's wingman is Ernesto. Ernesto's a mark. This'll be fun. And sadly, I didn't notice the Crash-Shannon-v1 similarity until I just typed this.
5: 'Cause there ain't no cure for how much Rush sucks you are looking LIIIIIIIIIVE at the Mission Valley Hooters, with the Slam being brought to you bah Heineken as far as I'm concerned. Jerel would address you but he's busy macking the waitress. Keep in mind I am not getting any crowd reax (more on this later). In the Spanish announce table pool, Jerel has 6, Ernesto 6:05, and me 6:45.
5:08: I am such a mark for evil double-teaming it's not even funny.
5:14: Poetry in Tope Con Hilo! The muhfuggin HART ATTACK~! SSP! Man, that was as fun as I thought it'd be. Evil Spike may be my gimmick of the year after three shows.
5:18: Kane reminds me of the drunken uncle at every Southern family reunion. EVER.
5:24: Matt Hardy busts out a plancha for the first time in the new millennium, thus astounding us who are not manly and with an ACL injury would look for the nearest big-tittayed Swedish female massuse.
5:26: *watches the super chokeslam*
5:26:10: Matt Hardy was 28 years old.
5:29: Cena/Orton to main event 21 preview? Hmm...the set's nice but the half circle's throwing me for some reason.
5:31: We were just talked to by Keith Scott Zimmerman in 2024. ZOINKS. Ernesto: Booker T looks like the Predator, man. I have no idea how he delivered that bon mot and actually seemed concerned about what happened to Lex Luger, and frankly I'm not sure I want to.
5:37: There are MULTIPLE small children. In Hooters. Watching WWE. I'm going to repeat that, because it bears repeating.--Lewis Black There are multiple small children in Hooters watching professional wrestling. Jessica Marie Alba, no wonder everyone outside of this state thinks we're fucking nuts.
5:45: We are all suitably in awe of Batista, who looks like he's flexing while standing still. Ernesto says "Damn Canadians" at some point--without the crowd reaction--and I just don't have the heart to break it to him the two-decade strangehold Canadian stars have had on our shores.
5:56: No Christian?! BOOOO!
6: There's no sound. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem. All of a sudden I see Kurt Angle's Titantron. I can't yell YOU SUCK! The terrorists have won.
6:14: First ref bump, which I completely forgot to make a subpool for.
6:20: Guess who's favorite Olympian is all the way back up in this muthafucka?!
6:28: This has been some textbook old-school goodness to start: Eugene's reaction to the set and then Triple H, the have-I-reached-10? punch countalong, Triple H using Lillian as a shield and then kicking him in the head, the fake leg injury followed by a laugh and "What?" to the referee. By the way, people looked at me when I laughed hard at the heel stuff. Fuck 'em.
6:31: "YMCA" breaks out. No, really. If I had more than three beers I'd swear I was drunk.
6:37: Someone hit the Pedigree on Triple H. If I had more than three beers...
6:40: Diva Dodgeball starts. Next table over: "Who's that?" "Don't care." At HOOTERS? I Am In Shock.
6:43: "Don't hurt Gail!" Yes, that was me, why do you ask?
6:45: Clay over Liston. Jets over Colts. NC State over Phi Slamma Jamma. Buster Douglas KOing Mike Tyson. Ron Seigel sweeping Sakai. And the Searchers annihilating the Divas. Where was the Joy/Amy victory spanking, I ask you?
6:50: "All watching JBL does is remind me how much Ted DiBiase DIDN'T get to be champion." It was decided for Jim Ross' safety that he should not call this match.
7: A waitress is intrigued slash horrified by the first two hours of notes and tries to make sense of them all. Me to her: part of that's in Sanskrit, by the way.
7:05: The table comes to the consensus that we'd take a piss break but we'd definitely miss whatever the big thing is.
7:13: Dear WWE,
FUCK you. 20 minutes of my life gone, and I want them back PDf'nQ.
Signed,
All Fans Who Just Watched That Crime Against Everything Good In This World
7:17: Benoit doesn't show off the belt to both sides of the crowd, thus ensuring a loss. It's nice to be a smark with someone else around.
7:24: The tope to nowhere gets everybody's attention. Broken neck? I scoff at your broken neck!
7:40: Jerel: "Did he win? CLEANLY?!"
About Orton: it is Way Too Goddamn Soon for the face turn, which shouldn't happen before '06. And they rushed him to the title to spite Brock, but I'd rather him be heel champ at this stage than face. What the fuck did Benoit NOT killify his ass, it wasn't like Toronto was going to turn him heel. Back in my day a handshake was Step 1 on the way to a beatdown.
JBL is becoming to title reigns what Christina Aguilera is to restraint. This is why we need a healthy Kurt Angle, so someone GOOD can hold the belt again. I heard Toronto took a Cleveland Steamer on UT. Good for them.
Well, RAW tomorrow ought be interesting as we deal with the repercussions of the Dodgeball squash. And the new champ and blah blah blah.
Ambient music: the Jam - A Town Called Malice
8/14/04
Rosser Genuine Draft
Yeah, props to Matt & Rob--WHO I WILL DESTROY! MUAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA!
Ladies and gentlemen, the roster for YOUR North Tijuana 619ers!
[1st] (3) RB Clinton Portis, WAS: Averaging five and a half yards a carry, 1,550 yards, and only two fumbles a year. Did I mention he's the #1 running back in a Joe Gibbs offense? 10.
[2nd] (18) RB Domanick Davis, HOU: has since been traded for RB Marshall Faulk, ST.L: not to say Mike Martz is the dumbest coach alive but playing as the Rams on Madden '05 I blew up about 8 ways from Sunday. How'd I do it? Two ways: a) Faulk ran the ball at least 3 times on the sustained drives and 2) I sent him out on the line all the time or threw a short pass and let him work the hoodoo. Davis did similar numbers but the Texans have way fewer options and he catches less. It's possible Marshall'll get hurt again, but as a #2? I've had harder times choosing cereal. 9.
[3rd] (23) RB Corey Dillion, NE: Lessee--1,300 yard running back + psychotically loaded Super Bowl Champions...Mr. James Todd Smith, your comments on this perennial Pro Bowler? Don't call it a comeback! 9.
[4th] (38) WR Derrick Mason, TEN: Improving every year, last year getting 1,300 yards plus, nine games with 90 yards+, didn't miss a game, and is poised to be McNair's boy with the abscence of Eddie George off the Titans. Probably the most underrated of the top 10 WRs. Church. 9.
[5th] (43) WR Santana Moss, J E T S: Faster than a paycheck, four 110+ games, 1,100 yards last year. As long as Pennington holds up and he keeps getting big YAC, opponents will be begging me to change my "Evil Ways", heh heh heh. Sorry. 10.
[6th] (58) QB Aaron Brooks, NO: Good news! Mid 20s in TDs year after year! Bad news! The Saints (and as a result, Brooks) are f'n schitzo! ELEVEN fumbles last year! Ohh...that orange chicken isn't sitting so good... 7.
[7th] (63) WR Charles Rogers, DET: OK, the Lions suck and they drafted Roy Williams. But Rogers is a big dude and was averaging a first down's worth a catch before he bit it. As a #3 this is fine, especially if he lasts year to year on a bad team--falling behind frequently they would tend to throw more. 7.
[8th] (78) TAMPA defense: No Sapp or Lynch. *stifles sob* Still got Brooks, and the opportunistic backfield. When the Bucs had it together, they scored a lot of defensive TDs. Still solid--just not the blowaway they once were. 8.
[9th] (83) TE Randy McMichael, MIA: eeep. This WOULD'VE been a good pick, but then Ricky Williams went to make Half-Baked 2, and David Boston pulled a Paris Hilton, and who's the QB and *sigh* 5.
[10th] (98) K Josh Brown, SEA: 2nd year, big money offense, made all 48 extra points? All righty. No Vanderjagt but he'll suffice. 8.
[11th] (103) RB Charlie Garner, TB: That sound you hear is Rob gnashing his teeth. Purely bye-week filler with Portis-Faulk-Dillon being the top backs, so I'm fine with this. 7.
[12th] (118) RB William Green, CLE: See above. Except he might not start. And has the stench of Jimmy Smith on him. Why am I not mad? Portis-Faulk-Dillon, that's why. 5.
[13th] (123) QB Jeff Garcia, CLE: PFFFFFFFFFFT. Maybe if he got me Carmella's cell number or a Mansion invite I'd be a little more up. But the Browns ain't gonna do much of anything. This might be the Charles Rogers theory for a different position--he may also recreate the Snickers "But you don't understand, I'm Batman!" commerical by Week 6. Que sera sera...5.
[14th] (138) WR Deion Branch, NE: The man who caught the first TD of the Super Bowl almost doubled his yards from '02 to '03 and averaged a first down a catch; the problem is the Patriots, esp. with my boy Dillon have got one of the more libertarian offenses in the League so it doesn't always translate into TDs. With the Band of Renown on the verge of pursuing solo careers he could easily step up to be their #1 receiving threat, or at least do well at #2. Between he, Mason, Moss & Rogers...huzzah! 8.
[15th] (143) TE Bubba Franks, GB: Let me get this straight: Brett Favre is your QB and you can't even get 3g in a season? Bubba, you're not a fucking legend, and that is getting ugly. 0.
[16th] (158) CHICAGO defense: Brian Urlacher and the 10 Dwarves? To quote a wise philosopher from a suburb of Los Angeles, nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga please waived, replaced by GREEN BAY defense: did similar numbers to Tampa--last year Tampa and gave up 55 more points. Perfectly Acceptable Bye Week filler. 6.
Last year my picks gave me nervous apprehension and a fucking drug charge before the draft EVEN ENDED FUCK YOU JIMMY SMITH! YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIIIIIIIE! and as an end result I lost the first 10 games, gutted the team like an underperforming business, and quit. This year, I feel good. As long as my three-headed running back monster performs at their levels, the season should go decently.
Barring plane crash it can't go worse than last year--and THAT draft you'll find out about next weekend. Be (t)here. Aloha.
Ambient music: Liz Phair - Supernova
Ladies and gentlemen, the roster for YOUR North Tijuana 619ers!
[1st] (3) RB Clinton Portis, WAS: Averaging five and a half yards a carry, 1,550 yards, and only two fumbles a year. Did I mention he's the #1 running back in a Joe Gibbs offense? 10.
[2nd] (18) RB Domanick Davis, HOU: has since been traded for RB Marshall Faulk, ST.L: not to say Mike Martz is the dumbest coach alive but playing as the Rams on Madden '05 I blew up about 8 ways from Sunday. How'd I do it? Two ways: a) Faulk ran the ball at least 3 times on the sustained drives and 2) I sent him out on the line all the time or threw a short pass and let him work the hoodoo. Davis did similar numbers but the Texans have way fewer options and he catches less. It's possible Marshall'll get hurt again, but as a #2? I've had harder times choosing cereal. 9.
[3rd] (23) RB Corey Dillion, NE: Lessee--1,300 yard running back + psychotically loaded Super Bowl Champions...Mr. James Todd Smith, your comments on this perennial Pro Bowler? Don't call it a comeback! 9.
[4th] (38) WR Derrick Mason, TEN: Improving every year, last year getting 1,300 yards plus, nine games with 90 yards+, didn't miss a game, and is poised to be McNair's boy with the abscence of Eddie George off the Titans. Probably the most underrated of the top 10 WRs. Church. 9.
[5th] (43) WR Santana Moss, J E T S: Faster than a paycheck, four 110+ games, 1,100 yards last year. As long as Pennington holds up and he keeps getting big YAC, opponents will be begging me to change my "Evil Ways", heh heh heh. Sorry. 10.
[6th] (58) QB Aaron Brooks, NO: Good news! Mid 20s in TDs year after year! Bad news! The Saints (and as a result, Brooks) are f'n schitzo! ELEVEN fumbles last year! Ohh...that orange chicken isn't sitting so good... 7.
[7th] (63) WR Charles Rogers, DET: OK, the Lions suck and they drafted Roy Williams. But Rogers is a big dude and was averaging a first down's worth a catch before he bit it. As a #3 this is fine, especially if he lasts year to year on a bad team--falling behind frequently they would tend to throw more. 7.
[8th] (78) TAMPA defense: No Sapp or Lynch. *stifles sob* Still got Brooks, and the opportunistic backfield. When the Bucs had it together, they scored a lot of defensive TDs. Still solid--just not the blowaway they once were. 8.
[9th] (83) TE Randy McMichael, MIA: eeep. This WOULD'VE been a good pick, but then Ricky Williams went to make Half-Baked 2, and David Boston pulled a Paris Hilton, and who's the QB and *sigh* 5.
[10th] (98) K Josh Brown, SEA: 2nd year, big money offense, made all 48 extra points? All righty. No Vanderjagt but he'll suffice. 8.
[11th] (103) RB Charlie Garner, TB: That sound you hear is Rob gnashing his teeth. Purely bye-week filler with Portis-Faulk-Dillon being the top backs, so I'm fine with this. 7.
[12th] (118) RB William Green, CLE: See above. Except he might not start. And has the stench of Jimmy Smith on him. Why am I not mad? Portis-Faulk-Dillon, that's why. 5.
[13th] (123) QB Jeff Garcia, CLE: PFFFFFFFFFFT. Maybe if he got me Carmella's cell number or a Mansion invite I'd be a little more up. But the Browns ain't gonna do much of anything. This might be the Charles Rogers theory for a different position--he may also recreate the Snickers "But you don't understand, I'm Batman!" commerical by Week 6. Que sera sera...5.
[14th] (138) WR Deion Branch, NE: The man who caught the first TD of the Super Bowl almost doubled his yards from '02 to '03 and averaged a first down a catch; the problem is the Patriots, esp. with my boy Dillon have got one of the more libertarian offenses in the League so it doesn't always translate into TDs. With the Band of Renown on the verge of pursuing solo careers he could easily step up to be their #1 receiving threat, or at least do well at #2. Between he, Mason, Moss & Rogers...huzzah! 8.
[15th] (143) TE Bubba Franks, GB: Let me get this straight: Brett Favre is your QB and you can't even get 3g in a season? Bubba, you're not a fucking legend, and that is getting ugly. 0.
[16th] (158) CHICAGO defense: Brian Urlacher and the 10 Dwarves? To quote a wise philosopher from a suburb of Los Angeles, nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga please waived, replaced by GREEN BAY defense: did similar numbers to Tampa--last year Tampa and gave up 55 more points. Perfectly Acceptable Bye Week filler. 6.
Last year my picks gave me nervous apprehension and a fucking drug charge before the draft EVEN ENDED FUCK YOU JIMMY SMITH! YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIIIIIIIE! and as an end result I lost the first 10 games, gutted the team like an underperforming business, and quit. This year, I feel good. As long as my three-headed running back monster performs at their levels, the season should go decently.
Barring plane crash it can't go worse than last year--and THAT draft you'll find out about next weekend. Be (t)here. Aloha.
Ambient music: Liz Phair - Supernova
8/13/04
Back Into the Pool
I don't know really what to say. It was a much shorter date than a normal one, and Maria looked great and everything but our convo seemed slightly off-kilter; like an aria sung a note low or something. Staying up all night last night maybe a mistake. Oh, and she's more religious than I first suspected, thus making my novel a mild bone of contention.
Had to know how much was there, and now I know. So let's get ready for the next ep...oh, you've GOT to be kidding me...
Ambient music: Violent Femmes - Promise
Had to know how much was there, and now I know. So let's get ready for the next ep...oh, you've GOT to be kidding me...
Ambient music: Violent Femmes - Promise
8/12/04
Hypocracy? That's Just Fancy Talk For FAAAAAANTASTIC
In the outside world, if I press my groin against a girl's ass it gets me 7 to 15 in federal pound me in the ass prison.
When I wish to press my groin against a girl's ass in the outside world, there is no one willing.
And yet give me an hour on the dance floor and it happens like meltdowns around Homer.
Guess who's been drinking? Better recover by noon, I's gots a date.
Yes, more to come.
Ambient music: Nore & the Neptunes - Superthug (What What)
When I wish to press my groin against a girl's ass in the outside world, there is no one willing.
And yet give me an hour on the dance floor and it happens like meltdowns around Homer.
Guess who's been drinking? Better recover by noon, I's gots a date.
Yes, more to come.
Ambient music: Nore & the Neptunes - Superthug (What What)
8/7/04
Pocket 10
Obituaries: "Super Duper Love", 6; "Ocean Avenue", 8; "Ch-Check It Out", 10
(10) Incubus ==> Talk Shows On Mute (9)
(09) Modest Mouse ==> Float On (7)
(08) Maroon 5 ==> She Will Be Loved (debut)
(07) Faithless ==> Mass Destruction (debut)
(06) Franz Ferdinand ==> Take Me Out (5)
(05) the Hives ==> Walk Idiot Walk (debut)
(04) Juvenile ==> Slow Motion (3)
(03) Kanye West ==> Jesus Walks (4)*
(02) Jay-Z ==> 99 Problems (1)
(01) Black Eyed Peas ==> Let's Get Retarded (2) [2w]
Ambient music: Injected's "Faithless"
(10) Incubus ==> Talk Shows On Mute (9)
(09) Modest Mouse ==> Float On (7)
(08) Maroon 5 ==> She Will Be Loved (debut)
(07) Faithless ==> Mass Destruction (debut)
(06) Franz Ferdinand ==> Take Me Out (5)
(05) the Hives ==> Walk Idiot Walk (debut)
(04) Juvenile ==> Slow Motion (3)
(03) Kanye West ==> Jesus Walks (4)*
(02) Jay-Z ==> 99 Problems (1)
(01) Black Eyed Peas ==> Let's Get Retarded (2) [2w]
Ambient music: Injected's "Faithless"
8/6/04
It WAS A Celebration, Bitches
Funk legend Rick James, best known for the 1981 hit ''Super Freak,'' died Friday, apparently of natural causes, police said.
In 1997, he released a new album, but a year later he suffered a stroke while performing at Denver's Mammoth Events Center, derailing a comeback tour. In 1998 he also underwent hip replacement surgery.
With his trademark Jheri curl, James was one of the biggest R&B stars of the 1980s, using danceable rhythms and passionate ballads to gain a wide following. Aside from ''Super Freak'' - which MC Hammer used a decade later as the backing track for his monster hit ''U Can't Touch This'' - James' hits included ''Mary Jane,'' ''Ebony Eyes'' and ''Fire and Desire,'' a stirring duet with Teena Marie.
James died at 9:45 a.m. at a residence near Universal City, said Police Department spokeswoman Esther Reyes.
''We learned of his death after responding to a radio call,'' Reyes said.
After his big hit, James' fame began to fade as he became embroiled in drugs, legal problems and health issues.
James was convicted in 1993 of assaulting two women. The first attack occurred in 1991 when he restrained and burned a young woman with a hot pipe during a cocaine binge at his house in West Hollywood. He was free on bail when the second assault occurred in 1992 in James' hotel room.
James was sentenced to more than two years in state prison.In 1997, he released a new album, but a year later he suffered a stroke while performing at Denver's Mammoth Events Center, derailing a comeback tour. In 1998 he also underwent hip replacement surgery.
With his trademark Jheri curl, James was one of the biggest R&B stars of the 1980s, using danceable rhythms and passionate ballads to gain a wide following. Aside from ''Super Freak'' - which MC Hammer used a decade later as the backing track for his monster hit ''U Can't Touch This'' - James' hits included ''Mary Jane,'' ''Ebony Eyes'' and ''Fire and Desire,'' a stirring duet with Teena Marie.
Ambient music: De La Soul's "Me, Myself, & I"
8/5/04
21st Century Digital Boys
The punchline to this--of course--is Ain't life a mystery, yeah?
When I woke up Monday morning, I had some depression and a side of angst. It wasn't any personal sand getting in my oyster shell, it was just the return to work after a week off. As I tend to do, I visited this place. Now, usually when I visit it's in a non-posting capacity to keep the sidebar updated on the off chance someone's looking on and wondering what I'm reading, etc.
So before I hit the blogs and links I saw a comment under the new Starfuckers entry. Now, any comments always get my attention due to their rarity (and, of course, the ego stroke that means I'm not tilting at windmills doing this). This really grabbed my attention because nobody responds to the Starfuckers entries.
You can go down and see it's from Daniel Womack. Now I haven't brought him up before, and most of my friends haven't heard or seen his name before. As Lewis Black taught you, there is a reason.
Up until about six hours ago, we hadn't seen each other for about 12 years. In my pre-pubescent youth, he was my best friend. We lived pretty close, hung out a lot. But high school took over, and we started splintering off our seperate ways. To be honest, I hadn't thought of him in a few years.
But that comment...
So I find out he's still around in town, and married a woman I knew but have long since forgotten (12 YEARS, people! Don't cluck disapprovingly at me!). After some fuckups on my part, we finally got together tonight.
And I'm not exactly sure why, nor do I care in depth, but in a lot of ways the missed time might as well have not existed. We got along just the same as we did in the way back when, and we were able to conversate on a intellectual and normal guy stupid way as well. I maintain as I did to him this probably wouldn't happen if one of us was female. Instead, we bowled (139 [third-best], 113, 116 --3-0 with a big closeout flurry in the middle game to win by a pin) and ate and pretty much played catchup when we felt like it. He got a lot of the Rosser Greatest Hits in the gap left. The Liz story. Starbucks COFFEE?! The Comic-Con this year. "Do you make 100,000 a year before taxes?" The noise I heard at the Memorial Day bikini pageant. The crazy shit I got into Friday night. The even crazier shit I got into the first time I got drunk.
The thing of it was, the oddness was caused not by the time apart, but by the fact the time apart didn't cause any oddness. You can go back and reread that 'cause I swear that makes sense. We didn't really change at our cores is the reason I'd like to think. He said it's because I'm pretty unflappable, and for once that wasn't apathy showing. Time does what it does, but that just gave us story fodder. And Liz, feel grateful: your story is absolute free-drink GOLD. We talked about the advances of technology progressing in our void and I believe I may have sold him a copy of NCAA 05 off of word of mouth. We played that "being back at the high school distorts one's perception of self-age". Other's sentences were finished. To give you a sample of the evening, he gave off a quick Lumbergh bite. I of course recognized it. Then I got to tell the story of how Cristal and I got together.
It was the sort of night where we hung out amicably, pulled to my place at 1 and talked for another hour about everything and nothing.
It was really fucking awesome, and it might not even be 12 days before we're once again hanging out. And outside of the smallest fraction of a connection via PGE it wouldn't've happened. He thought of ESPN, which made him think of me. (Pre-pubescent; all the time I talk about and spend thinking about pussy now was devoted to sports then. Now it's a time-share.) And he happened to find me, and we got along, and to quote young Hova it's back as if we never left.
So if ever I write about this thing being worthless, and/or unseen, point me to this post and clout me one.
His blog's in the ranks. Go say hi.
I mean, worse comes to worse we'll have one hell of a convo in 2017.
Ambient music: Coldplay's "Trouble"
When I woke up Monday morning, I had some depression and a side of angst. It wasn't any personal sand getting in my oyster shell, it was just the return to work after a week off. As I tend to do, I visited this place. Now, usually when I visit it's in a non-posting capacity to keep the sidebar updated on the off chance someone's looking on and wondering what I'm reading, etc.
So before I hit the blogs and links I saw a comment under the new Starfuckers entry. Now, any comments always get my attention due to their rarity (and, of course, the ego stroke that means I'm not tilting at windmills doing this). This really grabbed my attention because nobody responds to the Starfuckers entries.
You can go down and see it's from Daniel Womack. Now I haven't brought him up before, and most of my friends haven't heard or seen his name before. As Lewis Black taught you, there is a reason.
Up until about six hours ago, we hadn't seen each other for about 12 years. In my pre-pubescent youth, he was my best friend. We lived pretty close, hung out a lot. But high school took over, and we started splintering off our seperate ways. To be honest, I hadn't thought of him in a few years.
But that comment...
So I find out he's still around in town, and married a woman I knew but have long since forgotten (12 YEARS, people! Don't cluck disapprovingly at me!). After some fuckups on my part, we finally got together tonight.
And I'm not exactly sure why, nor do I care in depth, but in a lot of ways the missed time might as well have not existed. We got along just the same as we did in the way back when, and we were able to conversate on a intellectual and normal guy stupid way as well. I maintain as I did to him this probably wouldn't happen if one of us was female. Instead, we bowled (139 [third-best], 113, 116 --3-0 with a big closeout flurry in the middle game to win by a pin) and ate and pretty much played catchup when we felt like it. He got a lot of the Rosser Greatest Hits in the gap left. The Liz story. Starbucks COFFEE?! The Comic-Con this year. "Do you make 100,000 a year before taxes?" The noise I heard at the Memorial Day bikini pageant. The crazy shit I got into Friday night. The even crazier shit I got into the first time I got drunk.
The thing of it was, the oddness was caused not by the time apart, but by the fact the time apart didn't cause any oddness. You can go back and reread that 'cause I swear that makes sense. We didn't really change at our cores is the reason I'd like to think. He said it's because I'm pretty unflappable, and for once that wasn't apathy showing. Time does what it does, but that just gave us story fodder. And Liz, feel grateful: your story is absolute free-drink GOLD. We talked about the advances of technology progressing in our void and I believe I may have sold him a copy of NCAA 05 off of word of mouth. We played that "being back at the high school distorts one's perception of self-age". Other's sentences were finished. To give you a sample of the evening, he gave off a quick Lumbergh bite. I of course recognized it. Then I got to tell the story of how Cristal and I got together.
It was the sort of night where we hung out amicably, pulled to my place at 1 and talked for another hour about everything and nothing.
It was really fucking awesome, and it might not even be 12 days before we're once again hanging out. And outside of the smallest fraction of a connection via PGE it wouldn't've happened. He thought of ESPN, which made him think of me. (Pre-pubescent; all the time I talk about and spend thinking about pussy now was devoted to sports then. Now it's a time-share.) And he happened to find me, and we got along, and to quote young Hova it's back as if we never left.
So if ever I write about this thing being worthless, and/or unseen, point me to this post and clout me one.
His blog's in the ranks. Go say hi.
I mean, worse comes to worse we'll have one hell of a convo in 2017.
Ambient music: Coldplay's "Trouble"
8/1/04
Starfuckers Inc.: August '04
Here's Some Bus Fare:
Sofia Vergara, 10; Gail Kim, 18; Alyssa Milano, 19; Victoria 23
25) Jennifer Garner (debut)
24) Rebecca Romijn (last month 22, peak 22)
23) Anna Kournikova (12, p7)
22) Kitana Baker (debut)
21) Cameron Diaz (24, p9)
20) Kim Smith (20, p20)
19) Maria Menounos (8, p8)
18) Halle Berry (25, 18)
17) Monica Bellucci (re-entry, p17)
16) Stacy Keibler (re-entry, p16)
15) Heidi Klum (21, p10)
14) Carmen Electra (17, p5)
13) Christina Aguilera (13, p6)
12) Josie Maran (16, p12)
11) Beyonce Knowles (11, p4)
10) Vida Guerra (14, p6)
09) Kristanna Loken (15, p9)
08) Eliza Dushku (9, p3)
07) Jamie Pressly (7, p7)
06) Jessica Alba (1, p1)
05) Adriana Lima (6, p3)
04) Lindsay Lohan (3, p3)
03) Trish Stratus (4, p1)
02) Brooke Burke (2, p1)
01) Angelina Jolie (5, p1)
Ambient music: Metallica & the SF Symphony Orchestra's "Master Of Puppets" live
Sofia Vergara, 10; Gail Kim, 18; Alyssa Milano, 19; Victoria 23
25) Jennifer Garner (debut)
24) Rebecca Romijn (last month 22, peak 22)
23) Anna Kournikova (12, p7)
22) Kitana Baker (debut)
21) Cameron Diaz (24, p9)
20) Kim Smith (20, p20)
19) Maria Menounos (8, p8)
18) Halle Berry (25, 18)
17) Monica Bellucci (re-entry, p17)
16) Stacy Keibler (re-entry, p16)
15) Heidi Klum (21, p10)
14) Carmen Electra (17, p5)
13) Christina Aguilera (13, p6)
12) Josie Maran (16, p12)
11) Beyonce Knowles (11, p4)
10) Vida Guerra (14, p6)
09) Kristanna Loken (15, p9)
08) Eliza Dushku (9, p3)
07) Jamie Pressly (7, p7)
06) Jessica Alba (1, p1)
05) Adriana Lima (6, p3)
04) Lindsay Lohan (3, p3)
03) Trish Stratus (4, p1)
02) Brooke Burke (2, p1)
01) Angelina Jolie (5, p1)
Ambient music: Metallica & the SF Symphony Orchestra's "Master Of Puppets" live
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