WHOO THREE DAYS OFF. Bought the Jordan retro Bullets jersey. Worked two graduations this weekend, and I was in the eye of the Perfect Storm (so to speak) for an hour and a half. The other 11.5 hours went by without incident. So I'll talk about the $2 Bill I saw Radiohead do on MTV as High Fidelity ends and I warm up for Bring It On...
There There (5/5: RULES ALL)
Idioteque (4/5, 9/10)
Go To Sleep (2/5, 11/15)
Sit Down. Stand Up. (2/5, 13/20--sounds like a bunch of their old songs together, the last two)
I Might Be Wrong (3/5, 16/25--way better live than studio)
Fake Plastic Trees (5/5: 21/30 and the BEST THING THEY'VE EVER DONE.)
Paranoid Android (5/5: 26/35. Ambition DOES make you look pretty ugly. Witness the Commodore uniform)
Karma Police (5/5: 31/40)
True Love Waits (2/5)
Total: 33/45. 3.67 on the five scale--very good verging on excellent. I want to have a thrombo over no "Just" or "High & Dry" but they did "Fake Plastic Trees" to cover the Bends, and "Karma Police" & "Paranoid Android" to cover "No Surprises", "Climbing Up The Walls" and "Let Down" off the transcendant OK Computer. Fans'll want to see it--maybe they'll like the new stuff "There There" aside more than me. For those uncultured in the Church of Yorke, it's a dandy primer.
All right, almost time for the cheerleader flick filmed at my old schools, and it takes a while to dim the lights and put on some Marvin Gaye and get the lotion. So bye.
6/29/03
6/28/03
I'm RICH, BIATCH!
When I go forwards, you go backwards, and somewhere we will meet...
Today I work 2-10:30 (noon to night) and tomorrow's 10:30 (a) to 3 (p), so let me go over yesterday right quick whilst I still have the time and cognizance to do so.
Yesterday I got paid and since my bosses were nagging me about wearing matching white shoes and I'm working this weekend, I decided to go down and get the check. Plus, if I didn't do it yesterday I probably wouldn't've been able to cash it until Monday. So, I wait at the stop in front of my house. There are cones up but there's an obvious pathway set up for the bus. Some of the more observant of you see this cab coming down Broadway with the doors open. I watch the old bus driver shake his shoulders as if to say "What can I do?" as he goes by me. And this is why when I become President, most old people are going to be violently stoned to death. So another 25 minutes goes by until I can catch another bus down the block, and two old ladies use stops before the last one (mine) and take their sweet time getting off the bus. And right then I know I'm not going to catch the NEW trolley I want, and sure enough we end up half a block away watching it roll by. So, because of 3 people taking roughly 45 seconds, I have lost 45 MINUTES before I can get moving downtown. If things had gone as planned I would've been downtown with the check in sight or in hand by this point.
I do make it downtown and catch a better break with the last connection, then it's off to the CC. NOTHING happening yesterday but setup. I think more people went to see "From Justin To Kelly". I pick up my check and give it a once-over. Hours are right, so is the hourly wage. Less what I give up, there's still about 230 there. B e a uuuuuutiful. I walk a few blocks away to the bank that'll cash it (still no account yet since I'm off to the Vegas wedding in 13 DAYS!) and then head back the way I came towards Horton Hears A Who Plaza. I amble into Foot Locker and buy some cheap-ass white Pumas to shut up the bosses. I mean, working door or traffic, everyone looks at you from the chest up. The only people who'll notice are them, and probably only today. 32 bucks for the shoes. Doesn't matter. Why?
CAUSE I'M STILL RICH, BIATCH!
Ooh, and they had the Bullets Jordan jersey on sale for $45. I'm no John Cena, but it took me a good couple minutes to not buy it. I mean, I got to conserve for the wedding, the bachelor party, the bail money, and so on. You know how it is. I amble up upstairs to the big jersey place and look at a bunch of them. They've got a nice looking retroized Webber but as a Lakers fan I'd rather wear a backless dress. They got some cool Payton & Big Ben jerseys that've been retroized in old-school Milwaukee and Detroit setups. Anyway, I turn to leave, guess who's there?
Brother & dad. My dad's been taking his old HS friend from Arizona around, and we just happened to bump into each other. I told my dad I was thinking of hooking him up with the Alex English jersey. He says Joe Greene, so I guess I'm scouring eBay. He drops off my brother and walks away with the friend. I buy my brother a retro Pads cap for $10. I'm a good guy! I HAVE FOOTAGE--or at least a nonrefundable hat my brother enjoys.
After I pick up a double fudge brownie from Mrs. Fields it's back home, 90 minutes later than expected but ah well. Had a cousin over, finally finished the PPV match I was working on (not the best thing I've ever done but it's up there), and confirmed the rents will help out with the wedding monies even if my mom thinks my buddy's f'n nuts for getting married at 24.
Oh, by the way, the lot of the Angels on Conan Thursday was cash money. He should've had someone SING "Let's Get It On" if he had the band cue it up with the lights dimmed down and all.
Anyway, back to the salt mines. Got M-W off so I'll probably be back at it again around then. Keep watching the skies.
Sometimes I feel like something is gone here, something is wrong here, I don't belong here...
Today I work 2-10:30 (noon to night) and tomorrow's 10:30 (a) to 3 (p), so let me go over yesterday right quick whilst I still have the time and cognizance to do so.
Yesterday I got paid and since my bosses were nagging me about wearing matching white shoes and I'm working this weekend, I decided to go down and get the check. Plus, if I didn't do it yesterday I probably wouldn't've been able to cash it until Monday. So, I wait at the stop in front of my house. There are cones up but there's an obvious pathway set up for the bus. Some of the more observant of you see this cab coming down Broadway with the doors open. I watch the old bus driver shake his shoulders as if to say "What can I do?" as he goes by me. And this is why when I become President, most old people are going to be violently stoned to death. So another 25 minutes goes by until I can catch another bus down the block, and two old ladies use stops before the last one (mine) and take their sweet time getting off the bus. And right then I know I'm not going to catch the NEW trolley I want, and sure enough we end up half a block away watching it roll by. So, because of 3 people taking roughly 45 seconds, I have lost 45 MINUTES before I can get moving downtown. If things had gone as planned I would've been downtown with the check in sight or in hand by this point.
I do make it downtown and catch a better break with the last connection, then it's off to the CC. NOTHING happening yesterday but setup. I think more people went to see "From Justin To Kelly". I pick up my check and give it a once-over. Hours are right, so is the hourly wage. Less what I give up, there's still about 230 there. B e a uuuuuutiful. I walk a few blocks away to the bank that'll cash it (still no account yet since I'm off to the Vegas wedding in 13 DAYS!) and then head back the way I came towards Horton Hears A Who Plaza. I amble into Foot Locker and buy some cheap-ass white Pumas to shut up the bosses. I mean, working door or traffic, everyone looks at you from the chest up. The only people who'll notice are them, and probably only today. 32 bucks for the shoes. Doesn't matter. Why?
CAUSE I'M STILL RICH, BIATCH!
Ooh, and they had the Bullets Jordan jersey on sale for $45. I'm no John Cena, but it took me a good couple minutes to not buy it. I mean, I got to conserve for the wedding, the bachelor party, the bail money, and so on. You know how it is. I amble up upstairs to the big jersey place and look at a bunch of them. They've got a nice looking retroized Webber but as a Lakers fan I'd rather wear a backless dress. They got some cool Payton & Big Ben jerseys that've been retroized in old-school Milwaukee and Detroit setups. Anyway, I turn to leave, guess who's there?
Brother & dad. My dad's been taking his old HS friend from Arizona around, and we just happened to bump into each other. I told my dad I was thinking of hooking him up with the Alex English jersey. He says Joe Greene, so I guess I'm scouring eBay. He drops off my brother and walks away with the friend. I buy my brother a retro Pads cap for $10. I'm a good guy! I HAVE FOOTAGE--or at least a nonrefundable hat my brother enjoys.
After I pick up a double fudge brownie from Mrs. Fields it's back home, 90 minutes later than expected but ah well. Had a cousin over, finally finished the PPV match I was working on (not the best thing I've ever done but it's up there), and confirmed the rents will help out with the wedding monies even if my mom thinks my buddy's f'n nuts for getting married at 24.
Oh, by the way, the lot of the Angels on Conan Thursday was cash money. He should've had someone SING "Let's Get It On" if he had the band cue it up with the lights dimmed down and all.
Anyway, back to the salt mines. Got M-W off so I'll probably be back at it again around then. Keep watching the skies.
Sometimes I feel like something is gone here, something is wrong here, I don't belong here...
6/26/03
The Essential Authoritative Indispensible Top 25 Songs Of The Eighties
Someday when I'm feeling particularly homicidal I'll go through the notes of all the billions of honorable mentions and put together a full hundred. As for now, though, here's a quarter of that with five times the effort.
#25: Biz Markie's "Just A Friend" (89)
#24: Faith No More's "Epic" (89)
#23: N.W.A.'s "Express Yourself" (89)*
#22: Run-DMC's "It's Like That" (84)
#21: the Clash's "Rock The Casbah" (82)**
#20: U2's "With Or Without You" (87)***
#19: Run-DMC's "It's Tricky" (86)****
#18: Talking Heads' "Road To Nowhere" (85)
#17: the Police's "King Of Pain" (83)
#16: George Clinton's "Atomic Dog" (83)
#15: Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers' "Free Fallin'" (89)
#14: Violent Femmes' "Add It Up" (83)
#13: U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" (87)***
#12: Pat Benatar's "Love Is A Battlefield" (83)
#11: N.W.A.'s "Fuck Tha Police" (89)*
#10: Simply Red's "Holding Back The Years" (85)
#9: Aerosmith & Run-DMC's "Walk This Way" (86)****
#8: the Police's "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" (81)
#7: Public Enemy's "Don't Believe The Hype" (88)
#6: Tears For Fears' "Everybody Wants To Rule The World" (85)
#5: the Clash's "Should I Stay Or Should I Go" (82)**
#4: the Police's "Every Breath You Take" (83)
Third, "Fight The Power" by Public Enemy (1989, a number, another summer (get down) sound of a funky drummer)
Second, "Once In A Lifetime" by Talking Heads (80)
And of course, Don Henley's "The Boys Of Summer" (84)
#25: Biz Markie's "Just A Friend" (89)
#24: Faith No More's "Epic" (89)
#23: N.W.A.'s "Express Yourself" (89)*
#22: Run-DMC's "It's Like That" (84)
#21: the Clash's "Rock The Casbah" (82)**
#20: U2's "With Or Without You" (87)***
#19: Run-DMC's "It's Tricky" (86)****
#18: Talking Heads' "Road To Nowhere" (85)
#17: the Police's "King Of Pain" (83)
#16: George Clinton's "Atomic Dog" (83)
#15: Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers' "Free Fallin'" (89)
#14: Violent Femmes' "Add It Up" (83)
#13: U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" (87)***
#12: Pat Benatar's "Love Is A Battlefield" (83)
#11: N.W.A.'s "Fuck Tha Police" (89)*
#10: Simply Red's "Holding Back The Years" (85)
#9: Aerosmith & Run-DMC's "Walk This Way" (86)****
#8: the Police's "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" (81)
#7: Public Enemy's "Don't Believe The Hype" (88)
#6: Tears For Fears' "Everybody Wants To Rule The World" (85)
#5: the Clash's "Should I Stay Or Should I Go" (82)**
#4: the Police's "Every Breath You Take" (83)
Third, "Fight The Power" by Public Enemy (1989, a number, another summer (get down) sound of a funky drummer)
Second, "Once In A Lifetime" by Talking Heads (80)
And of course, Don Henley's "The Boys Of Summer" (84)
6/24/03
version 2
So, longtime readers of ASCTR will note last week I began deciding what were my fourth through twenty-fifth favorite songs of the 80s. I refuse to budge from my Holy Trinity of "Fight The Power" (Public Enemy), "Once In A Lifetime" (Talking Heads), and "The Boys Of Summer" (Don Henley). Those who use the links on the left can see Johnny, Rob, and Chaz's sad little limp-wristed bitch-ass lists. My database is about 3K deep and I'm doing some serious pondering. Matter of fact I'd say my 51 through 75 would throw their list through a plate glass window and rape the wounds. With S & T to go, I expect the bottom six to ten to go.
But as of now...#25-#4. Sit back, relax, and if you don't like it, go fuck yourself.
25--> N.W.A., "Straight Outta Compton"
24--> Robert Palmer, "Addicted To Love"
23--> Nine Inch Nails, "Head Like A Hole"
22--> Madness, "One Step Beyond"
21--> Public Enemy, "Bring The Noize"
20--> AC/DC, "Back In Black"
19--> Beastie Boys, "Hey Ladies"
18--> Biz Markie, "Just A Friend"
17--> Faith No More, "Epic"
16--> N.W.A., "Express Yourself"
15--> Run-DMC, "It's Like That"
14--> U2, "With Or Without You"
13--> Run-DMC, "It's Tricky"
12--> George Clinton, "Atomic Dog"
11--> Violent Femmes, "Add It Up"
10--> U2, "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"
09--> Pat Benatar, "Love Is A Battlefield"
08--> N.W.A., "Fuck Tha Police"
07--> Aerosmith & Run-DMC, "Walk This Way"
06--> Led Zeppelin, "Hey Hey What Can I Do"
05--> Public Enemy, "Don't Believe The Hype"
04--> the Police, "Every Breath You Take"
Work's been boring. Two more days down, one to go, and one to pick up a check. Back at it on the weekend. Haircut tomorrow. Anyway, the DEFINITIVE MASTER COPY 25'll be out sometime before Saturday afternoon. Tell a friend.
But as of now...#25-#4. Sit back, relax, and if you don't like it, go fuck yourself.
25--> N.W.A., "Straight Outta Compton"
24--> Robert Palmer, "Addicted To Love"
23--> Nine Inch Nails, "Head Like A Hole"
22--> Madness, "One Step Beyond"
21--> Public Enemy, "Bring The Noize"
20--> AC/DC, "Back In Black"
19--> Beastie Boys, "Hey Ladies"
18--> Biz Markie, "Just A Friend"
17--> Faith No More, "Epic"
16--> N.W.A., "Express Yourself"
15--> Run-DMC, "It's Like That"
14--> U2, "With Or Without You"
13--> Run-DMC, "It's Tricky"
12--> George Clinton, "Atomic Dog"
11--> Violent Femmes, "Add It Up"
10--> U2, "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"
09--> Pat Benatar, "Love Is A Battlefield"
08--> N.W.A., "Fuck Tha Police"
07--> Aerosmith & Run-DMC, "Walk This Way"
06--> Led Zeppelin, "Hey Hey What Can I Do"
05--> Public Enemy, "Don't Believe The Hype"
04--> the Police, "Every Breath You Take"
Work's been boring. Two more days down, one to go, and one to pick up a check. Back at it on the weekend. Haircut tomorrow. Anyway, the DEFINITIVE MASTER COPY 25'll be out sometime before Saturday afternoon. Tell a friend.
6/22/03
Led Zeppelin IV (BAH)
I've given all I can it's not enough...
This is one of those days where I keep drowing in the quicksand that is general idiocy and there's not a rope in sight to save me. I sit around waiting to get in my room--let alone on the comp--for another 40 minutes because my mother has to finish a CROSSWORD PUZZLE. No, I don't only have six hours of free time less showering less dinner before I have to go to sleep so I can wake up at 4 again like I did today! By all means, take your time! I don't mind changing in the bathroom; carnies do it ALLLLLLLLL the time! THAT fun bit came on the heels of the bastard who drove the bus I was going to take off while the trolley was still pulling into the station so there went another half hour.
And THEY come on the heels of the fat stupid cow from The Company That Hired Dickhole (lets, I dunno, for the sake of hilarity, call them STAFFPRO) and complained that early in my shift I badgered (read: asked twice) Optometrist registrars about a different seminar since the signs for them were in front of their registration--what was left since they closed out at 9 and that I was pacing for hours afterwards (read: you know, the way a policeman is pacing when he works his beat). Sorry you stupid white bitches haven't seen a black man without a mop in his hands before: welcome to 2003. Then I come to find out from my supervisor that Fat Stupid Cow's been in a mood all day because not only has no one milked her since darn near Tuesday but she was in histrionics at 3:30 this morning because the vending machine ate her two dollar bill. F'n psycho. What sort of assclowns is StaffPro hiring? Give us your retarded, your psychotic, your fucking stupid masses yearning to drag others down? MY BOSSES were supposed to be dickholes, mkay? THAT I would've expected. THAT I would've known how to deal with. But when the people I work with that I don't even work with tag me twice in my first four days for the glorification of their own inadequacies, let the bodies hit the floor. One more incident of that shit before Wednesday and the neighbors and colleages are going to be telling the 11:00 News how I didn't say much and kept to myself.
So congratuations to Big Fat Cow, who takes her place alongside Dickhole (I was going to call him Manpussy but that sounds like a Bond Villian and they're all cool) atop the Rosser Shitlist. Tell Carson Daly and the guy who decided to not make Bring It On NC-17 to scooch.
Between all that and the June Gloom that's been here since April, DADDY NEEDS A CALMATIVE. Nothing else happened today. YET.
Oh, if you like Charlie's Angels, get the Maxim, if not, don't.
To Do:
--12th
--reschedule 3rd and 4th
--write PPV Match due Saturday
--d/l "Prove My Love", "Run Rabbit Run", and "Don't Let's Start"
--finish 80s list sometime before the end of the month
Nothing ever grows and the sun doesn't shine all day, tried to save myself but myself kept slipping away...
This is one of those days where I keep drowing in the quicksand that is general idiocy and there's not a rope in sight to save me. I sit around waiting to get in my room--let alone on the comp--for another 40 minutes because my mother has to finish a CROSSWORD PUZZLE. No, I don't only have six hours of free time less showering less dinner before I have to go to sleep so I can wake up at 4 again like I did today! By all means, take your time! I don't mind changing in the bathroom; carnies do it ALLLLLLLLL the time! THAT fun bit came on the heels of the bastard who drove the bus I was going to take off while the trolley was still pulling into the station so there went another half hour.
And THEY come on the heels of the fat stupid cow from The Company That Hired Dickhole (lets, I dunno, for the sake of hilarity, call them STAFFPRO) and complained that early in my shift I badgered (read: asked twice) Optometrist registrars about a different seminar since the signs for them were in front of their registration--what was left since they closed out at 9 and that I was pacing for hours afterwards (read: you know, the way a policeman is pacing when he works his beat). Sorry you stupid white bitches haven't seen a black man without a mop in his hands before: welcome to 2003. Then I come to find out from my supervisor that Fat Stupid Cow's been in a mood all day because not only has no one milked her since darn near Tuesday but she was in histrionics at 3:30 this morning because the vending machine ate her two dollar bill. F'n psycho. What sort of assclowns is StaffPro hiring? Give us your retarded, your psychotic, your fucking stupid masses yearning to drag others down? MY BOSSES were supposed to be dickholes, mkay? THAT I would've expected. THAT I would've known how to deal with. But when the people I work with that I don't even work with tag me twice in my first four days for the glorification of their own inadequacies, let the bodies hit the floor. One more incident of that shit before Wednesday and the neighbors and colleages are going to be telling the 11:00 News how I didn't say much and kept to myself.
So congratuations to Big Fat Cow, who takes her place alongside Dickhole (I was going to call him Manpussy but that sounds like a Bond Villian and they're all cool) atop the Rosser Shitlist. Tell Carson Daly and the guy who decided to not make Bring It On NC-17 to scooch.
Between all that and the June Gloom that's been here since April, DADDY NEEDS A CALMATIVE. Nothing else happened today. YET.
Oh, if you like Charlie's Angels, get the Maxim, if not, don't.
To Do:
--12th
--reschedule 3rd and 4th
--write PPV Match due Saturday
--d/l "Prove My Love", "Run Rabbit Run", and "Don't Let's Start"
--finish 80s list sometime before the end of the month
Nothing ever grows and the sun doesn't shine all day, tried to save myself but myself kept slipping away...
6/21/03
version 1.5
A LOT changed. Still left to go: F-H, J & K, M & N, P-T. But for now....
*note, numbers after numbers are where I had them at v1*
(25) 20
(24) Ozzy, "Crazy Train"
(23) 19
(22) 18
(21) 17
(20) 16
(19) 15
(18) U2, "Where The Streets Have No Name"
(17) English Beat, "Mirror In The Bathroom"
(16) 14
(15) 13
(14) 12
(13) 11
(12) 10
(11) 9
(10) 8
(09) 7
(08) 6
(07) U2, "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"
(06) 5
(05) Led Zeppelin, "Hey Hey What Can I Do"
(04) 4
Results will follow later this week at some point.
*note, numbers after numbers are where I had them at v1*
(25) 20
(24) Ozzy, "Crazy Train"
(23) 19
(22) 18
(21) 17
(20) 16
(19) 15
(18) U2, "Where The Streets Have No Name"
(17) English Beat, "Mirror In The Bathroom"
(16) 14
(15) 13
(14) 12
(13) 11
(12) 10
(11) 9
(10) 8
(09) 7
(08) 6
(07) U2, "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"
(06) 5
(05) Led Zeppelin, "Hey Hey What Can I Do"
(04) 4
Results will follow later this week at some point.
25-4, version 1
After all the fuss I made about "Free Fallin'" and "Welcome To The Jungle", neither's on as of right now. I know, I know. Anyway, did numbers, A through D and V through Z so far with some things Chaz put up that I would eventually. That being said...
(25) Queen & David Bowie, "Under Pressure"
(24) Queen, "Another One Bites The Dust"
(23) Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, "I Love Rock & Roll"
(22) Beastie Boys, "No Sleep Till Brooklyn"
(21) Billy Idol, "White Wedding"
(20) Soft Cell, "Tainted Love"
(19) the Clash, "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?"
(18) Don Henley, "The Heart Of The Matter"
(17) U2, "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"
(16) the Eurythmics, "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of These)"
(15) Robert Palmer, "Addicted To Love"
(14) AC/DC, "Hell's Bells"
(13) the Ramones, "I Wanna Be Sedated"
(12) Beastie Boys, "Fight For Your Right (To Party)"
(11) De La Soul, "Me Myself & I"
(10) AC/DC, "Back In Black"
(09) Beastie Boys, "Hey Ladies"
(08) Biz Markie, "Just A Friend"
(07) U2, "With Or Without You"
(06) Violent Femmes, "Add It Up"
(05) Aerosmith & Run-DMC, "Walk This Way"
(04) the Police, "Every Breath You Take"
Watch this space for developments.
(25) Queen & David Bowie, "Under Pressure"
(24) Queen, "Another One Bites The Dust"
(23) Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, "I Love Rock & Roll"
(22) Beastie Boys, "No Sleep Till Brooklyn"
(21) Billy Idol, "White Wedding"
(20) Soft Cell, "Tainted Love"
(19) the Clash, "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?"
(18) Don Henley, "The Heart Of The Matter"
(17) U2, "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"
(16) the Eurythmics, "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of These)"
(15) Robert Palmer, "Addicted To Love"
(14) AC/DC, "Hell's Bells"
(13) the Ramones, "I Wanna Be Sedated"
(12) Beastie Boys, "Fight For Your Right (To Party)"
(11) De La Soul, "Me Myself & I"
(10) AC/DC, "Back In Black"
(09) Beastie Boys, "Hey Ladies"
(08) Biz Markie, "Just A Friend"
(07) U2, "With Or Without You"
(06) Violent Femmes, "Add It Up"
(05) Aerosmith & Run-DMC, "Walk This Way"
(04) the Police, "Every Breath You Take"
Watch this space for developments.
6/20/03
What Say You, Lewis Black? (And The 25 Over 80)
'Cause the way I see it, 7% of our brain functions all the time. Because 99% of everything that happens is the same ol' stuff. But every so often, something like that happens. "If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't've spent that year in college." And your brain goes Let's figure it out! Son of a bitch, I wonder what THAT'S about!
I'm pretty sure it's all Bob Morris' fault.
So I'm in APA chat, talking about They Might Be Giants. He says THIS gets a reaction when last week I was quoting "Goody Two Shoes" and nothing. I says I was paying attention but you took WAY too damn long to get to the part with Al Green so I said the hell with it. Then there's a brief debate during which the other idiots learn there IS an Al Green part. Then it turns into a thing where I'm thinking of High Fidelity and ask for the top 3 80s songs for everybody. I come up with (and end up throwing away) "The Message" & "Welcome To The Jungle" in lieu of the following:
(03) Public Enemy, "Fight The Power"
(02) Talking Heads, "Once In A Lifetime"
(01) Don Henley, "The Boys Of Summer"
That IS a good list, so good I'm not budging despite misgivings that'll come. You got the rap, you got the new age, and pop before it was a dirty word, and people who don't like that song probably do things like use hand gestures to say "I've got my eyes on you" at work. I put "Sexual Healing" on DQ because it's above the list as my favorite song of all time and thus unfair to whoever's on the list, esp. #25. Besides GnR and Grandmaster Flash, I forgot "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?", "Under Pressure" and "Free Fallin'". Yeesh. Then that jackass Rob reminds of "For Whom the Bell Tolls", which reminds me of "Hell's Bells", which also reminds me that I've forgotten the ENTIRETY of BACK IN FUCKING BLACK
You get the idea.
I need to make a list of #25-#4 with copious room for honorable mentions. I mean, "Everybody Wants To Rule the World"--someone else must respect that song for the nacent genius it holds. And thank/fuck you VH1 for reminding me about "With Or Without You" which leads to the Joshua Tree-- SEE?! "Every Breath You Take". "Walk This Way".
And the decent to madness just kicked into another gear...
I'm pretty sure it's all Bob Morris' fault.
So I'm in APA chat, talking about They Might Be Giants. He says THIS gets a reaction when last week I was quoting "Goody Two Shoes" and nothing. I says I was paying attention but you took WAY too damn long to get to the part with Al Green so I said the hell with it. Then there's a brief debate during which the other idiots learn there IS an Al Green part. Then it turns into a thing where I'm thinking of High Fidelity and ask for the top 3 80s songs for everybody. I come up with (and end up throwing away) "The Message" & "Welcome To The Jungle" in lieu of the following:
(03) Public Enemy, "Fight The Power"
(02) Talking Heads, "Once In A Lifetime"
(01) Don Henley, "The Boys Of Summer"
That IS a good list, so good I'm not budging despite misgivings that'll come. You got the rap, you got the new age, and pop before it was a dirty word, and people who don't like that song probably do things like use hand gestures to say "I've got my eyes on you" at work. I put "Sexual Healing" on DQ because it's above the list as my favorite song of all time and thus unfair to whoever's on the list, esp. #25. Besides GnR and Grandmaster Flash, I forgot "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?", "Under Pressure" and "Free Fallin'". Yeesh. Then that jackass Rob reminds of "For Whom the Bell Tolls", which reminds me of "Hell's Bells", which also reminds me that I've forgotten the ENTIRETY of BACK IN FUCKING BLACK
You get the idea.
I need to make a list of #25-#4 with copious room for honorable mentions. I mean, "Everybody Wants To Rule the World"--someone else must respect that song for the nacent genius it holds. And thank/fuck you VH1 for reminding me about "With Or Without You" which leads to the Joshua Tree-- SEE?! "Every Breath You Take". "Walk This Way".
And the decent to madness just kicked into another gear...
So we BITCH-SLAPPED that motherfucker and sent him packing!
Butch 0wns j00: CORKSCREW PLANCHA, motherfucker
Butch 0wns j00: It's a CORKSCREW PLANCHA
Johnnyb452: I knew that!
Butch 0wns j00: Why's it say tope suicida, then?
Butch 0wns j00: I have you listed as corkscrew plancha
Butch 0wns j00: Conform.
Johnnyb452: BAH
Johnnyb452: I CONFORM FOR NO ONE
Butch 0wns j00: DO IT NOW HALFIE
Johnnyb452: Besides, that's what it says at La Arena. http://www.highspots.com/arena/dictionary.htm
Johnnyb452: I just want to be cool!
Butch 0wns j00: It says any spinning or CORKSCREW MOVE
Butch 0wns j00: They had Rey on Tough Enough last time
Butch 0wns j00: He did it to Snow
Butch 0wns j00: Al called it a tornillo
Johnnyb452: Maaaan,
Johnnyb452: :-(
Butch 0wns j00: You know, it's a lot like something Mahatma Ghandi said to the British consulate after India was released from British rule post World War II
Butch 0wns j00: Don't fuck with a Jedi Master, son
Johnnyb452: :-(
Butch 0wns j00: *does the Shocker dance*
Butch 0wns j00: It's a CORKSCREW PLANCHA
Johnnyb452: I knew that!
Butch 0wns j00: Why's it say tope suicida, then?
Butch 0wns j00: I have you listed as corkscrew plancha
Butch 0wns j00: Conform.
Johnnyb452: BAH
Johnnyb452: I CONFORM FOR NO ONE
Butch 0wns j00: DO IT NOW HALFIE
Johnnyb452: Besides, that's what it says at La Arena. http://www.highspots.com/arena/dictionary.htm
Johnnyb452: I just want to be cool!
Butch 0wns j00: It says any spinning or CORKSCREW MOVE
Butch 0wns j00: They had Rey on Tough Enough last time
Butch 0wns j00: He did it to Snow
Butch 0wns j00: Al called it a tornillo
Johnnyb452: Maaaan,
Johnnyb452: :-(
Butch 0wns j00: You know, it's a lot like something Mahatma Ghandi said to the British consulate after India was released from British rule post World War II
Butch 0wns j00: Don't fuck with a Jedi Master, son
Johnnyb452: :-(
Butch 0wns j00: *does the Shocker dance*
6/19/03
From the home office in Keokuk...
Smackdown was eh, Scrubs was good cause I got to see Sarah Chalke in bra and panties. Now to the point.
10//Summer Altice
09//Anna Kournikova
08//Jaime Pressly
07//Carmen Electra
06//Eliza Dushku
05//Heidi Klum
04//Brooke Burke
03//JLH
02//Trish Stratus
01//Jessica Alba
10//Summer Altice
09//Anna Kournikova
08//Jaime Pressly
07//Carmen Electra
06//Eliza Dushku
05//Heidi Klum
04//Brooke Burke
03//JLH
02//Trish Stratus
01//Jessica Alba
III (Wandering, Little Things Making Good, And The Return Of El Holio De Dick Mejor)
Am I a part of the cure, or am I part of the disease...
CAVEAT JUST IN CASE: Nothing I say here before, now, or ever is in anyway a reflection of the SDCC Inc. All personal views. Suck on THAT, lawyer-types!
I should be tired right now, but I'm not. So let me yappity my flap about work in this space for a bit, yeah? LIKE YOU HAVE A CHOICE. KNEEL, BIATCH!
*Went in today with Dad, which saved me about 15 minutes of sleep (least in theory). We talked a little on the trolley coming up but it was early and my end of the ride is shorter.
*Worked the AOA today, in bits and pieces. No Hef today. BOO. Again I was the breaker, which means everyone goes for breaks much longer than they should, eventually breaking your mind and soul until you decide to break them with a baseball bat. IN THE FACE. I eventually got my breaks and all but the wait seems interminable sometimes, especially with nothing going on. Big moment came when it went down around 10; the cattle call began around quarter till so I was standing in the middle of the hall yelling "HELLO! REGISTRATION IS RIGHT BEHIND ME, ALL SEMINARS UPSTAIRS, THE TIME IS (FILL IN TIME) SO YOU'RE STILL EARLY!" A few folks seemed to appreciate it, and I helped out a lot of folks with general layout knowledge and the occasional shortcut. So that's good for me. Spent lunch finishing rereading Lawrence Block's Small Town (fan of his whole ouevre, this is one of the best 3) just sitting in a corridor. The job itself's going pretty well; well enough to the point my bosses are dancing around about my hire like they found the cure to monkeypox, AIDS, and it was sitting under a pile of free HBO.
*And now for the ANGRY portion of the day: walking the lobby where the eye folks were, I look to my left and say hello to some tourist. There is Dickhole. Here is a transcript.
Me: *shocked look*
Dickhole: *points at his eyes* *points at me* *walks away*
Me (internally): Wow, I'd really love to take this radio and just CRAM IT into your forehead until you had a cerebral hemmorage and shit your Transformers underoos, you tubby worthless sack of fuck. Then to make sure the radio stayed in there, I'd beat it home with a barbed wire 2x4 just to make sure every trace of your worthless life was eradicated from you--at least before I started sliding leeches down the 2x4 so they could feast on the worthless pink Star-Trek trivia collection h@X0r l33t chat you built in 1983 between your ears you dare call a brain. You've got your eye on me? In a non-suck world, I'd have my eyes on you being my own PERSONAL FUCKING HANDPUPPET, you corpulent bag of freshly generated circle jerked boy band jizz punk-ass bitch motherfucker.
Last paragraph came out as an =-O, but the thought--the violent, violent thought counts. I'm pretty sure if I keep not pissing people off and the bosses like me; if he keeps testing me I may just get him fired by the Fourth, do the I'VE got my eye on YOU and then the get your Episode II Collector's Edition STINK the FUCK out of MY convention hall! MOVE IT, LARDASS! thumb gesture towards one of the exits. *deep cleansing breath that pushes out the jive and brings in the love*
*For the following I got paid enough to buy a DVD during the lull of the day: wander. lunch. wander. break. (chocolate cake with ORANGE F'N ZEST. BOW.) wander. So it isn't all busy time and staring at all the hot optometry bitches.
*And now, an optometry joke that's only a punchline. "...so the cyclops says to the doctor, whaddya MEAN I'm not half-price?!" It played to mixed reviews. I may have to work on it.
*Going home was the stuff of dreams. I hit the connections like Jason Kidd hit Joumanna after being reminded two tries, no rings: bing, bam, boom. Total ride was 45 minutes and that really should be halved due to me having to wait about 10 for the first leg and walking 10 minutes. (Traffic's crazy out here; my brother's high school's having graduation across the street as I type. Figured I was better off getting two blocks away and hoofing then taking the chance of being on the main throughfare the hour before a graduation.) Girl on the bus was an Osman dream/lawsuit/jail time come to life: Latina, pouty lips, black Filas with white laces, this sort of tiger-striped blue jeans thing where it was DARKER blue stripes on blue, low-cut black keeping the twins barely in line. Rock 3:16--if she looks 20, and she's 16...
*So, that's it. I wanted to start the Maxim but I've been busy between riding with dad and this great cover story in the San Diego Reader about the various kinds of hackers that I haven't gotten around to it. I mean, what a bastard I am; famous babes like Lucy, Cameron and Drew getting all dolled up, probably on their day off, saying salacious things and hopefully teasing on-set lesbianism, looking hotter than the Vegas strip in August at noon less the shade, and I'm all "Ooh, let me read this article about computers." SHAME. What a fucking quandry. (And how proud my English teachers must be, bludgeoning a $5 word like quandry with the f-bomb right in front.)
*Uh, I'm doing stuff later: watching Smackdown kinda, the SCRUBS~~~~ rerun. I get a later bedtime tonight; tomorrow it's off to the library early to give back to the community, then back home to sleep like it's air.
That all, that all...
Foot on the pedal, never, ever touch metal, engine running hotter than a boiling kettle...
CAVEAT JUST IN CASE: Nothing I say here before, now, or ever is in anyway a reflection of the SDCC Inc. All personal views. Suck on THAT, lawyer-types!
I should be tired right now, but I'm not. So let me yappity my flap about work in this space for a bit, yeah? LIKE YOU HAVE A CHOICE. KNEEL, BIATCH!
*Went in today with Dad, which saved me about 15 minutes of sleep (least in theory). We talked a little on the trolley coming up but it was early and my end of the ride is shorter.
*Worked the AOA today, in bits and pieces. No Hef today. BOO. Again I was the breaker, which means everyone goes for breaks much longer than they should, eventually breaking your mind and soul until you decide to break them with a baseball bat. IN THE FACE. I eventually got my breaks and all but the wait seems interminable sometimes, especially with nothing going on. Big moment came when it went down around 10; the cattle call began around quarter till so I was standing in the middle of the hall yelling "HELLO! REGISTRATION IS RIGHT BEHIND ME, ALL SEMINARS UPSTAIRS, THE TIME IS (FILL IN TIME) SO YOU'RE STILL EARLY!" A few folks seemed to appreciate it, and I helped out a lot of folks with general layout knowledge and the occasional shortcut. So that's good for me. Spent lunch finishing rereading Lawrence Block's Small Town (fan of his whole ouevre, this is one of the best 3) just sitting in a corridor. The job itself's going pretty well; well enough to the point my bosses are dancing around about my hire like they found the cure to monkeypox, AIDS, and it was sitting under a pile of free HBO.
*And now for the ANGRY portion of the day: walking the lobby where the eye folks were, I look to my left and say hello to some tourist. There is Dickhole. Here is a transcript.
Me: *shocked look*
Dickhole: *points at his eyes* *points at me* *walks away*
Me (internally): Wow, I'd really love to take this radio and just CRAM IT into your forehead until you had a cerebral hemmorage and shit your Transformers underoos, you tubby worthless sack of fuck. Then to make sure the radio stayed in there, I'd beat it home with a barbed wire 2x4 just to make sure every trace of your worthless life was eradicated from you--at least before I started sliding leeches down the 2x4 so they could feast on the worthless pink Star-Trek trivia collection h@X0r l33t chat you built in 1983 between your ears you dare call a brain. You've got your eye on me? In a non-suck world, I'd have my eyes on you being my own PERSONAL FUCKING HANDPUPPET, you corpulent bag of freshly generated circle jerked boy band jizz punk-ass bitch motherfucker.
Last paragraph came out as an =-O, but the thought--the violent, violent thought counts. I'm pretty sure if I keep not pissing people off and the bosses like me; if he keeps testing me I may just get him fired by the Fourth, do the I'VE got my eye on YOU and then the get your Episode II Collector's Edition STINK the FUCK out of MY convention hall! MOVE IT, LARDASS! thumb gesture towards one of the exits. *deep cleansing breath that pushes out the jive and brings in the love*
*For the following I got paid enough to buy a DVD during the lull of the day: wander. lunch. wander. break. (chocolate cake with ORANGE F'N ZEST. BOW.) wander. So it isn't all busy time and staring at all the hot optometry bitches.
*And now, an optometry joke that's only a punchline. "...so the cyclops says to the doctor, whaddya MEAN I'm not half-price?!" It played to mixed reviews. I may have to work on it.
*Going home was the stuff of dreams. I hit the connections like Jason Kidd hit Joumanna after being reminded two tries, no rings: bing, bam, boom. Total ride was 45 minutes and that really should be halved due to me having to wait about 10 for the first leg and walking 10 minutes. (Traffic's crazy out here; my brother's high school's having graduation across the street as I type. Figured I was better off getting two blocks away and hoofing then taking the chance of being on the main throughfare the hour before a graduation.) Girl on the bus was an Osman dream/lawsuit/jail time come to life: Latina, pouty lips, black Filas with white laces, this sort of tiger-striped blue jeans thing where it was DARKER blue stripes on blue, low-cut black keeping the twins barely in line. Rock 3:16--if she looks 20, and she's 16...
*So, that's it. I wanted to start the Maxim but I've been busy between riding with dad and this great cover story in the San Diego Reader about the various kinds of hackers that I haven't gotten around to it. I mean, what a bastard I am; famous babes like Lucy, Cameron and Drew getting all dolled up, probably on their day off, saying salacious things and hopefully teasing on-set lesbianism, looking hotter than the Vegas strip in August at noon less the shade, and I'm all "Ooh, let me read this article about computers." SHAME. What a fucking quandry. (And how proud my English teachers must be, bludgeoning a $5 word like quandry with the f-bomb right in front.)
*Uh, I'm doing stuff later: watching Smackdown kinda, the SCRUBS~~~~ rerun. I get a later bedtime tonight; tomorrow it's off to the library early to give back to the community, then back home to sleep like it's air.
That all, that all...
Foot on the pedal, never, ever touch metal, engine running hotter than a boiling kettle...
6/18/03
Two (Drunks To The Left Of Me, Optometrists To The Right, Here I Am...)
Confusion never stops, the closing walls and ticking clocks...
Since I'm still very tired and sleep's a little while away, a few brief notes.
*The (sadly, final) day of the bar association was in the left/old side of the CC, while the optometrists that start in a couple days were on the right/new side. I half expected to see a sign that had one arrow left that said HELL and one right that said HEAVEN.
*I got the duties of breaking people and in a hilarious note my radio went out on my mid-conversation towards the end of my shift. By the time it'd gotten settled and I could talk to my supervisor it was time to log out. Go fig.
*Further proving what your English teacher told us all about assuming, the big play of the day was a guy showing up with four hot babes--to the OPTOMETRY side of the CC, allowing me the line of the day (not bad for 10 am, neither): And where is Mr. Hefner going today?
*Good thing about actually working (though various supervisors seemed horrified in my second day on the job I was handling this much business) is that by the time I yawned today, my shift was over.
*Got my schedule. Off Friday and Saturday and next Thursday. I need to see if I can skip out of volunteering the next couple weeks until I get used to the time because this 4-to-4 shite is destroying me after never having gotten up this early and not having a solid reason to get up for 2 years.
*Speaking of the bar convention I got a little flak because some security urethra was complaining I poked my head in. I was in the area greeting people, which is where my head was supposed to be. Not only did I not poke my head in, I couldn't've SPIT on the entryway from where I was most of the day. My supervisor blew it off, but I'm pretty sure I knew the fat four-eyed fuck who did this to me. On my SECOND DAY. Either he's a dickhole on general purposes or he's a racist dickhole and either way my fist should be able to poke into his jawline until he bleeds a suitable amount OR OR OR I get a SARS-infested bear to rape him anally while I laugh and kick him in the nuts. Just cause I get to do a couple seconds of flirting. Lay off the Vanilla Haterade, playa. Ya feel me?
*If they're selling dark chocolate Resse's peanut butter cups in your neck of the woods, pick 'em up. They actually taste a little better too, due to the contrast.
*Got the new Maxim, and the Charlie Angels are on it. This should make for a nice amount of self-flaggelation. Magazine review to come. I'll probably end up taking it to work and reading it.
*Anyway, took a small nap. Going in with Dad for tomorrow, dinner's cooking in the oven, and there's this surf Real World thing I'm watching (well, have on mute in the background while I catch up with friends and listen ro random Winamp) on the Welcome Back Niggas To The WB I Like Chickeeeennnnnn because there's this hot chick named Vanessa Kay who looks like Anna Kournikova if she were a surf babe and since bikinis are smaller than tennis skirts...ya know.
To do hasn't changed except I finished the IWO match--as it is. Eh. Oh, and took care of the account setup so once I get paid I can get right in there. And I did the...ah, fuckbeans...
TO DO:
--the 12th
Also, Rob should do this. DO IT! DO IT DO IT DO IIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT!
Waiting, watching the clock, it's 4:00...
Since I'm still very tired and sleep's a little while away, a few brief notes.
*The (sadly, final) day of the bar association was in the left/old side of the CC, while the optometrists that start in a couple days were on the right/new side. I half expected to see a sign that had one arrow left that said HELL and one right that said HEAVEN.
*I got the duties of breaking people and in a hilarious note my radio went out on my mid-conversation towards the end of my shift. By the time it'd gotten settled and I could talk to my supervisor it was time to log out. Go fig.
*Further proving what your English teacher told us all about assuming, the big play of the day was a guy showing up with four hot babes--to the OPTOMETRY side of the CC, allowing me the line of the day (not bad for 10 am, neither): And where is Mr. Hefner going today?
*Good thing about actually working (though various supervisors seemed horrified in my second day on the job I was handling this much business) is that by the time I yawned today, my shift was over.
*Got my schedule. Off Friday and Saturday and next Thursday. I need to see if I can skip out of volunteering the next couple weeks until I get used to the time because this 4-to-4 shite is destroying me after never having gotten up this early and not having a solid reason to get up for 2 years.
*Speaking of the bar convention I got a little flak because some security urethra was complaining I poked my head in. I was in the area greeting people, which is where my head was supposed to be. Not only did I not poke my head in, I couldn't've SPIT on the entryway from where I was most of the day. My supervisor blew it off, but I'm pretty sure I knew the fat four-eyed fuck who did this to me. On my SECOND DAY. Either he's a dickhole on general purposes or he's a racist dickhole and either way my fist should be able to poke into his jawline until he bleeds a suitable amount OR OR OR I get a SARS-infested bear to rape him anally while I laugh and kick him in the nuts. Just cause I get to do a couple seconds of flirting. Lay off the Vanilla Haterade, playa. Ya feel me?
*If they're selling dark chocolate Resse's peanut butter cups in your neck of the woods, pick 'em up. They actually taste a little better too, due to the contrast.
*Got the new Maxim, and the Charlie Angels are on it. This should make for a nice amount of self-flaggelation. Magazine review to come. I'll probably end up taking it to work and reading it.
*Anyway, took a small nap. Going in with Dad for tomorrow, dinner's cooking in the oven, and there's this surf Real World thing I'm watching (well, have on mute in the background while I catch up with friends and listen ro random Winamp) on the Welcome Back Niggas To The WB I Like Chickeeeennnnnn because there's this hot chick named Vanessa Kay who looks like Anna Kournikova if she were a surf babe and since bikinis are smaller than tennis skirts...ya know.
To do hasn't changed except I finished the IWO match--as it is. Eh. Oh, and took care of the account setup so once I get paid I can get right in there. And I did the...ah, fuckbeans...
TO DO:
--the 12th
Also, Rob should do this. DO IT! DO IT DO IT DO IIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT!
Waiting, watching the clock, it's 4:00...
6/17/03
Day One (The Best Convention On EARTH, The 34-Minute Mile, and other odds and ends)
The world is a vampire, set to drain
Intermittent sleep. My body just refused the quick switchover and mass reduction of time; I woke up three times during the night which hasn't happened since the nightmares were more rooted in reality and not things with fangs and drooling with neon eyes. Alarm was set for 4:10 but I beat it by 20 minutes and just toughed it out. Two glasses of orange juice and a bagel, out at 4:30.
Not only is there a 4:30 in the morning now but to quote Raymond Chandler it's darker than a carload full of assholes. It's very odd and spooky and plays into every paranoid fantasy fueled since childhood by Freddy Kruger and his ilk. All lights, maybe 5 people, maybe 10 cars. Good things about taking the first bus of the day, even if it is S(tanding)R(oom)O(nly): it's on time, you're not alone. And the stops aren't too many. Mass exodus at the trolley stop between me and all the Tijuanians (?) coming over to do their various service jobs.
35 minutes later I was at work.
Chaos shortly ensued. Some sort of heat-functioning device went awry and the alarms were going off for about an hour. Nutty. About two hours in, after five minutes of quasi-training I ended up being a doorman for an hour to spell a guy. You've seen doormen by this point in your lives, you know what they do. It was for the employees during the main portion of work rush hour but surprisingly I didn't get a lot of employees. I spent a lot of time with a small smile and looking vigilant, however, which is most of the work when people aren't around.
Then for a while I got lured into church sleep. Church sleep is when you try to cram in every amount of sleep you've missed in two second shots before a) someone sees you and 2) your head snaps all the way back, waking you back up. 3 hours of sleep'll do that to you. Fortunately something happened that kept me awake. And it wasn't being acclimated to all my new jobs. (3.5)
One of the two main conventions going on right now is for bars. Just bars. As I was being given a tour of the facility, I walked into the bar convention in order to get to something else. Or as a reward. Can't remember, too tired. Anyways. The bar convention is like a Maxim party. Nothing but hot babes, enough booze to make Ted Kennedy squeal like a little girl, and a few pool tables because pool and booze and babes are so awesome. Made a slow, decisive sweep of the floor twice because power corrupts but absolute power's f'n sweet.
Lunch, I got lost and wandered the building.
After lunch the orientation for the day finished but I still needed to ride out my shift. So in order to acclimate me to the radio/kill time I got to wander the building AGAIN.
Boring yet PAINFUL fun fact: With the new renovations, the SDCC is half a mile long. OW. And it was painful too, like from room 1 to room 30 to room 7 to room 25 or something like that. Ye gods, if I'd known that was coming I would've spent lunch trying to break back into the bar convention. As it was, I pulled off the aforementioned 34-Minute Mile. Then for the remaining hour I helped shadow public safety via being a traffic cop on the outside. Nice day. LONG. $70 down.
Of course I missed all 3 of the connections I needed to get home, but that's the sort of brick in the wall I've gotten used to that makes me want to say "Brothers and sisters! I don't know what this world is coming to!" but well, what the hell don't? And now to see if I can keep awake the next 5 hours so I can save the sleep for when I need it.
I don't wanna try to anymore...
Intermittent sleep. My body just refused the quick switchover and mass reduction of time; I woke up three times during the night which hasn't happened since the nightmares were more rooted in reality and not things with fangs and drooling with neon eyes. Alarm was set for 4:10 but I beat it by 20 minutes and just toughed it out. Two glasses of orange juice and a bagel, out at 4:30.
Not only is there a 4:30 in the morning now but to quote Raymond Chandler it's darker than a carload full of assholes. It's very odd and spooky and plays into every paranoid fantasy fueled since childhood by Freddy Kruger and his ilk. All lights, maybe 5 people, maybe 10 cars. Good things about taking the first bus of the day, even if it is S(tanding)R(oom)O(nly): it's on time, you're not alone. And the stops aren't too many. Mass exodus at the trolley stop between me and all the Tijuanians (?) coming over to do their various service jobs.
35 minutes later I was at work.
Chaos shortly ensued. Some sort of heat-functioning device went awry and the alarms were going off for about an hour. Nutty. About two hours in, after five minutes of quasi-training I ended up being a doorman for an hour to spell a guy. You've seen doormen by this point in your lives, you know what they do. It was for the employees during the main portion of work rush hour but surprisingly I didn't get a lot of employees. I spent a lot of time with a small smile and looking vigilant, however, which is most of the work when people aren't around.
Then for a while I got lured into church sleep. Church sleep is when you try to cram in every amount of sleep you've missed in two second shots before a) someone sees you and 2) your head snaps all the way back, waking you back up. 3 hours of sleep'll do that to you. Fortunately something happened that kept me awake. And it wasn't being acclimated to all my new jobs. (3.5)
One of the two main conventions going on right now is for bars. Just bars. As I was being given a tour of the facility, I walked into the bar convention in order to get to something else. Or as a reward. Can't remember, too tired. Anyways. The bar convention is like a Maxim party. Nothing but hot babes, enough booze to make Ted Kennedy squeal like a little girl, and a few pool tables because pool and booze and babes are so awesome. Made a slow, decisive sweep of the floor twice because power corrupts but absolute power's f'n sweet.
Lunch, I got lost and wandered the building.
After lunch the orientation for the day finished but I still needed to ride out my shift. So in order to acclimate me to the radio/kill time I got to wander the building AGAIN.
Boring yet PAINFUL fun fact: With the new renovations, the SDCC is half a mile long. OW. And it was painful too, like from room 1 to room 30 to room 7 to room 25 or something like that. Ye gods, if I'd known that was coming I would've spent lunch trying to break back into the bar convention. As it was, I pulled off the aforementioned 34-Minute Mile. Then for the remaining hour I helped shadow public safety via being a traffic cop on the outside. Nice day. LONG. $70 down.
Of course I missed all 3 of the connections I needed to get home, but that's the sort of brick in the wall I've gotten used to that makes me want to say "Brothers and sisters! I don't know what this world is coming to!" but well, what the hell don't? And now to see if I can keep awake the next 5 hours so I can save the sleep for when I need it.
I don't wanna try to anymore...
6/16/03
The Human Swiss Army Knife
And you just don't get it, keep it copacetic
Ugh. Getting up early is proof there is no God in the Christianity endorsed way. Somehow the chariot of the people (and this person) is resembling on time, so the trip maxes out at about half an hour. Looking punctual is a great way to build undeserved hype.
Finally me and the other 7,8 hirees sit down and go through 4 hours of orientation. They asked me for my sleeve length and pants length and like a mook I didn't know it. PATHETIC. I just got fitted for a tux in the last two weeks and had I been paying attention to what the salesgirl was jotting down instead of the salesgirl I would've made myself out to be less of an idjit. Minor thing; of course it's some 9 hours later and I'm still mildly perturbed. It went all right. It was pretty much like all both the other orientations I've been to. I'm a teamster again, I got benefits again, and in an odd related note my own dad was pimping the company with an amusing anecdote of how a snake got free from a reptile show only to reappear in the drain.
Boring yet bizarre fun fact: the past two years, the SDCC has ranked #1 IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE in service. In more bizarre fun news, there's going to be (I think a mandatory) sexual harassment avoidance meeting. But it's FOUR HOURS. Thankfully, we're getting paid as we did today, but what the hell about sexual harassment is going to justify this four-hour meeting? Does it really take that long to line up a bunch of guys and yell "NO!" and "DON'T!" at them? Maybe we're going to act out the various roles and such. I hope we get a Unintentional Comedy Video about sexual harassment. I can just see the intro now. Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other workplace videos as Get Your Fingers Out of That Socket! and Why Eating Paste Should Be Saved For Break Time...
After the orientation wraps up around noon, the lot of us go up a floor to wardrobe. I'm Guest Services, so I get two different uniforms. One's like a park ranger, beige & black pants. That's the security/Public Safety. Imagine a person like me being in charge of the safety of others, then ask yourself if the terrorists haven't won already. The other...it's a big white jacket with blue pants and a yellow stripe down the legs. I look like a missing Commodore, and me & a couple of the other guys had some laughs about it. It's the "nautical" uniform, for if I am not to be in charge of the safety of tourists, I will be leading them around the Center and/or opening doors for them. I pray the nautical is merely an annual occurence, though deep in the pit of my heart I suspect I'll be made to wear it in public the first year on the job just so people can laugh.
Down the hall after that and since I was the only Guest Services guy I was on my own. I get led to a security hub with a mix of old and new technology and one of my bosses Anthony gives me the bare-bones primer. He's like a young Casey Kasem in tone and voice, assuming Kasem's Italian. Anyway, like an idiot I immediately jumped on for the 6 AM to 2:30 PM shift for the NEXT THREE FREAKING DAYS. I really shouldn't've, but all I kept seeing was 70 bucks, 70 bucks, 70 bucks. So now I got to drag myself out of bed at 4 am (in unemployment I called it bed time). Stupid, stupid, stupid. I don't know how my dad does it. I think we're going to end up going in together on Thursday, matter of fact. And my volunteer job at the library's Friday, so I got to get up at 7 and go put in that time for a couple hours cleaning the computers and generally beautifying up the joint. I'm not off until Saturday, ye gods. The library job's only two hours but it's still getting awake early. 7 in comparison to 4, I sure lucked out there, didn't I? Had I known April was going to be my swan song of the 11 internal alarm and getting dressed at 2 I do believe I would've enjoyed it more.
I got a bunch of stuff to look at, and tomorrow it's head-first into the pool. Learn to swim.
I'm so STUPID! But it just kept hanging over me like the Sword of Damocles: 70 bucks, 70 bucks, 70 bucks...
To do:
--Write IWO match (of course, now due WEDNESDAY instead of Saturday, thank you President Ford)
--Look at various SDCC info
--Fill out free accounting info
--Send in teamster info
--Alert scheduler of three-day abscence in July
--Get money for the 12th
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next, I can change my mold no no no no no
Ugh. Getting up early is proof there is no God in the Christianity endorsed way. Somehow the chariot of the people (and this person) is resembling on time, so the trip maxes out at about half an hour. Looking punctual is a great way to build undeserved hype.
Finally me and the other 7,8 hirees sit down and go through 4 hours of orientation. They asked me for my sleeve length and pants length and like a mook I didn't know it. PATHETIC. I just got fitted for a tux in the last two weeks and had I been paying attention to what the salesgirl was jotting down instead of the salesgirl I would've made myself out to be less of an idjit. Minor thing; of course it's some 9 hours later and I'm still mildly perturbed. It went all right. It was pretty much like all both the other orientations I've been to. I'm a teamster again, I got benefits again, and in an odd related note my own dad was pimping the company with an amusing anecdote of how a snake got free from a reptile show only to reappear in the drain.
Boring yet bizarre fun fact: the past two years, the SDCC has ranked #1 IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE in service. In more bizarre fun news, there's going to be (I think a mandatory) sexual harassment avoidance meeting. But it's FOUR HOURS. Thankfully, we're getting paid as we did today, but what the hell about sexual harassment is going to justify this four-hour meeting? Does it really take that long to line up a bunch of guys and yell "NO!" and "DON'T!" at them? Maybe we're going to act out the various roles and such. I hope we get a Unintentional Comedy Video about sexual harassment. I can just see the intro now. Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other workplace videos as Get Your Fingers Out of That Socket! and Why Eating Paste Should Be Saved For Break Time...
After the orientation wraps up around noon, the lot of us go up a floor to wardrobe. I'm Guest Services, so I get two different uniforms. One's like a park ranger, beige & black pants. That's the security/Public Safety. Imagine a person like me being in charge of the safety of others, then ask yourself if the terrorists haven't won already. The other...it's a big white jacket with blue pants and a yellow stripe down the legs. I look like a missing Commodore, and me & a couple of the other guys had some laughs about it. It's the "nautical" uniform, for if I am not to be in charge of the safety of tourists, I will be leading them around the Center and/or opening doors for them. I pray the nautical is merely an annual occurence, though deep in the pit of my heart I suspect I'll be made to wear it in public the first year on the job just so people can laugh.
Down the hall after that and since I was the only Guest Services guy I was on my own. I get led to a security hub with a mix of old and new technology and one of my bosses Anthony gives me the bare-bones primer. He's like a young Casey Kasem in tone and voice, assuming Kasem's Italian. Anyway, like an idiot I immediately jumped on for the 6 AM to 2:30 PM shift for the NEXT THREE FREAKING DAYS. I really shouldn't've, but all I kept seeing was 70 bucks, 70 bucks, 70 bucks. So now I got to drag myself out of bed at 4 am (in unemployment I called it bed time). Stupid, stupid, stupid. I don't know how my dad does it. I think we're going to end up going in together on Thursday, matter of fact. And my volunteer job at the library's Friday, so I got to get up at 7 and go put in that time for a couple hours cleaning the computers and generally beautifying up the joint. I'm not off until Saturday, ye gods. The library job's only two hours but it's still getting awake early. 7 in comparison to 4, I sure lucked out there, didn't I? Had I known April was going to be my swan song of the 11 internal alarm and getting dressed at 2 I do believe I would've enjoyed it more.
I got a bunch of stuff to look at, and tomorrow it's head-first into the pool. Learn to swim.
I'm so STUPID! But it just kept hanging over me like the Sword of Damocles: 70 bucks, 70 bucks, 70 bucks...
To do:
--Write IWO match (of course, now due WEDNESDAY instead of Saturday, thank you President Ford)
--Look at various SDCC info
--Fill out free accounting info
--Send in teamster info
--Alert scheduler of three-day abscence in July
--Get money for the 12th
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next, I can change my mold no no no no no
6/15/03
Walking out of the unemployment line, and a nice paragraph of Larry Kingesque ramblings
Lying on the floor, lying on the floor, I've come undone
Bleargh. A ho-hum nothing day. Daily maternal annoyance came from mom having me get a paper and bread after she'd been out the past two hours. The June gloom's pretty bad today, the sun didn't come out until 4. The RAW-only PPV the WWEh put on tonight,like 911 before it was a joke. And call me a Lakers apologist if you will, but if Horry makes the shot at the end of Game 5, it would've kept away the horrible, horrible, gutwrenching abortion that was this year's Finals.
Tomorrow it's up to beat the sun because I just got hired by the San Diego Convention Center, a pretty rare feat in honor of itself--who the hell gets hired during the biggest depression since the LAST Bush? I'm looking at some lengthy orientation that'll take up most of the day. I got hired for Guest Services but I believe I'm starting on the graveyard shift at 10 pm to 6:30 am which would seemingly conflict directly with me going out and helping people. I don't really care, I just neeeeeeeeeed the money. Holy christ, it'll be nice not to mortgage half my budget on a dollar's worth of Swiss Cake Rolls. Besides, between any time after 3 am and Pardon the Interruption I wasn't doing anything anyways. If I am to continue the shift, it'd be 10 to 6:30, home around 7:30 (knock on wood), breakfast, sleep at 8, wake up around 2:30 or 3. Won't be so bad. I'm pretty worthless before 2 anyways.
Well, Meet the Parents becons, so I'm cutting off here and will pick it up whenever I deem necessary. More bloggery to come.
To do:
--Get money for the 12th
--Write IWO match
So high you can't get around it, so low you can't get under it
Bleargh. A ho-hum nothing day. Daily maternal annoyance came from mom having me get a paper and bread after she'd been out the past two hours. The June gloom's pretty bad today, the sun didn't come out until 4. The RAW-only PPV the WWEh put on tonight,like 911 before it was a joke. And call me a Lakers apologist if you will, but if Horry makes the shot at the end of Game 5, it would've kept away the horrible, horrible, gutwrenching abortion that was this year's Finals.
Tomorrow it's up to beat the sun because I just got hired by the San Diego Convention Center, a pretty rare feat in honor of itself--who the hell gets hired during the biggest depression since the LAST Bush? I'm looking at some lengthy orientation that'll take up most of the day. I got hired for Guest Services but I believe I'm starting on the graveyard shift at 10 pm to 6:30 am which would seemingly conflict directly with me going out and helping people. I don't really care, I just neeeeeeeeeed the money. Holy christ, it'll be nice not to mortgage half my budget on a dollar's worth of Swiss Cake Rolls. Besides, between any time after 3 am and Pardon the Interruption I wasn't doing anything anyways. If I am to continue the shift, it'd be 10 to 6:30, home around 7:30 (knock on wood), breakfast, sleep at 8, wake up around 2:30 or 3. Won't be so bad. I'm pretty worthless before 2 anyways.
Well, Meet the Parents becons, so I'm cutting off here and will pick it up whenever I deem necessary. More bloggery to come.
To do:
--Get money for the 12th
--Write IWO match
So high you can't get around it, so low you can't get under it
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