The Human Swiss Army Knife

And you just don't get it, keep it copacetic

Ugh. Getting up early is proof there is no God in the Christianity endorsed way. Somehow the chariot of the people (and this person) is resembling on time, so the trip maxes out at about half an hour. Looking punctual is a great way to build undeserved hype.

Finally me and the other 7,8 hirees sit down and go through 4 hours of orientation. They asked me for my sleeve length and pants length and like a mook I didn't know it. PATHETIC. I just got fitted for a tux in the last two weeks and had I been paying attention to what the salesgirl was jotting down instead of the salesgirl I would've made myself out to be less of an idjit. Minor thing; of course it's some 9 hours later and I'm still mildly perturbed. It went all right. It was pretty much like all both the other orientations I've been to. I'm a teamster again, I got benefits again, and in an odd related note my own dad was pimping the company with an amusing anecdote of how a snake got free from a reptile show only to reappear in the drain.

Boring yet bizarre fun fact: the past two years, the SDCC has ranked #1 IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE in service. In more bizarre fun news, there's going to be (I think a mandatory) sexual harassment avoidance meeting. But it's FOUR HOURS. Thankfully, we're getting paid as we did today, but what the hell about sexual harassment is going to justify this four-hour meeting? Does it really take that long to line up a bunch of guys and yell "NO!" and "DON'T!" at them? Maybe we're going to act out the various roles and such. I hope we get a Unintentional Comedy Video about sexual harassment. I can just see the intro now. Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other workplace videos as Get Your Fingers Out of That Socket! and Why Eating Paste Should Be Saved For Break Time...

After the orientation wraps up around noon, the lot of us go up a floor to wardrobe. I'm Guest Services, so I get two different uniforms. One's like a park ranger, beige & black pants. That's the security/Public Safety. Imagine a person like me being in charge of the safety of others, then ask yourself if the terrorists haven't won already. The other...it's a big white jacket with blue pants and a yellow stripe down the legs. I look like a missing Commodore, and me & a couple of the other guys had some laughs about it. It's the "nautical" uniform, for if I am not to be in charge of the safety of tourists, I will be leading them around the Center and/or opening doors for them. I pray the nautical is merely an annual occurence, though deep in the pit of my heart I suspect I'll be made to wear it in public the first year on the job just so people can laugh.

Down the hall after that and since I was the only Guest Services guy I was on my own. I get led to a security hub with a mix of old and new technology and one of my bosses Anthony gives me the bare-bones primer. He's like a young Casey Kasem in tone and voice, assuming Kasem's Italian. Anyway, like an idiot I immediately jumped on for the 6 AM to 2:30 PM shift for the NEXT THREE FREAKING DAYS. I really shouldn't've, but all I kept seeing was 70 bucks, 70 bucks, 70 bucks. So now I got to drag myself out of bed at 4 am (in unemployment I called it bed time). Stupid, stupid, stupid. I don't know how my dad does it. I think we're going to end up going in together on Thursday, matter of fact. And my volunteer job at the library's Friday, so I got to get up at 7 and go put in that time for a couple hours cleaning the computers and generally beautifying up the joint. I'm not off until Saturday, ye gods. The library job's only two hours but it's still getting awake early. 7 in comparison to 4, I sure lucked out there, didn't I? Had I known April was going to be my swan song of the 11 internal alarm and getting dressed at 2 I do believe I would've enjoyed it more.

I got a bunch of stuff to look at, and tomorrow it's head-first into the pool. Learn to swim.

I'm so STUPID! But it just kept hanging over me like the Sword of Damocles: 70 bucks, 70 bucks, 70 bucks...

To do:
--Write IWO match (of course, now due WEDNESDAY instead of Saturday, thank you President Ford)
--Look at various SDCC info
--Fill out free accounting info
--Send in teamster info
--Alert scheduler of three-day abscence in July
--Get money for the 12th

And I'm a million different people from one day to the next, I can change my mold no no no no no