ALBA: I'm out of old cell phone debt! Done, done, done! No more living in fear of the 10 a.m. wakeup call! No more worrying about that thing before Natalie! Huzzah!
BUSH: No money for a couple days. Still worth it.
ALBA: Aaron, for the major assist.
ALBA: Paying his way to Vegas. I owe him that much. Fig/lit.
ALBA: Hey, by the way, did I mention I'm going to LAS VEGAS for HALLOWEEN!? Once? Well, let me say it again--I'm going to Las Vegas for Halloween! The modern-day American goulash of hedonism and depravity on the holiest of all Pagan holidays! Vegas girls in costumes! STRIPPERS in costumes! More friends! I am less a man than A GOD.
BUSH: ...what the fuck is my costume going to be?
ALBA: Last Saturday. Seriously, that went about as flawless as it could sans me getting digits. I still might've been able to if I'd gotten in sooner and wasn't so busy with all the free shots.
ALBA: Kicking my brother's ass on Madden, 50 (Jags) - 23 (Bengals) to run my record to about 10-0. Two interception returns for TDs right before the half ended killed him. He was up 10-7. And then WHAP. Ah, well.
BUSH: As grown up as I'd like to think I am, I enjoyed that curbstomping entirely too much.
ALBA: "Move Along" by the Rejects. If I'm not working the FOB/AAR concert I may find myself there. Just to visit. Yes.
ALBA: And we are under two weeks to the birthday party!
ALBA: Still in January, two of the three three-month resolutions I've made have either passed or are about to.
BUSH: Got to get back in and get those 3 dates down.
MOTHERFUCKING ALBA!
np: "Love And Happiness" by Al Green
1/27/06
1/26/06
Got Some Dirt On My Shoulder, Could You Brush It Off For Me?
So I catch a bastard of a cold yesterday. I nap off and on all day. I get a bunch of Robitussin in my system. I think about good things in my life, and good things to come. I find since the S thing fizzled out, I should keep my outlook positive. Someone'll appreciate, etf'nc and whatnot. So I do a little mental work for my birthday party (yay, 3 days, 2 towns, sure, that's fine). But then, I start thinking about Vegas. About last year.
About last year.
And by last year, I mean Kelli. Well, mostly. But then I think, how do I top it?
And right before my 1 a.m. nap, fueled on Robitussin, it comes to me.
You want to top last year? I mean, really top it?
What you should do, says Brilliant Voice In My Head, is rachet it up a couple notches and go for Halloween.
That's right.
VEGAS HALLOWEEN.
And we're doubling the running order (we hope), and getting another room at the Grandiose at least. But as is? It's going to cost me $10 less than last year!
Ah, man. To quote one of my favorite currently Incarcerated-Americans, if I was you, I'd hate me too.
np: "Oh Yes" by Juelz Santana
About last year.
And by last year, I mean Kelli. Well, mostly. But then I think, how do I top it?
And right before my 1 a.m. nap, fueled on Robitussin, it comes to me.
You want to top last year? I mean, really top it?
What you should do, says Brilliant Voice In My Head, is rachet it up a couple notches and go for Halloween.
That's right.
VEGAS HALLOWEEN.
And we're doubling the running order (we hope), and getting another room at the Grandiose at least. But as is? It's going to cost me $10 less than last year!
Ah, man. To quote one of my favorite currently Incarcerated-Americans, if I was you, I'd hate me too.
np: "Oh Yes" by Juelz Santana
1/22/06
Seven Feet Tall And Bulletproof
- Spent work staring at hot girls for six hours.
- Smoked premium hookah for a couple hours and had The Best Hot Chocolate in the County.
- Starting drinking Goose at a bar.
- Went to my favorite joint and had a few more while my DJ bumped some classic shit for an hour ("Paid In Full" remix, yes, "Juicy", yes, "T.R.O.Y.", yes, "O.P.P". yes, "Scenario" yes, "Me Myself And I", yes, "Going Back To Cali"--LL's, yes, "Rump Shaker" yes, motherfucking "Humpty" just as I was about to request it hell yes and I could keep going...)
- Went to PB after that and waited forever.
- Talked doorman into letting Ivan, Aaron and I in free.
- Got really fucked up.
- Freaked girls.
- Had some guy lay down some cash for more shots after he thought it was my birthday.
- Made friends.
- Continued getting really fucked up.
- Lost Natalie.
- Found Natalie.
- Traded vicious insults all ride home about Ivan's underage sister vs. my mother.
What'd you do with your Saturday?
1/21/06
KWBR.
Pittsburgh/Carolina, btw.
HE LOVES YOU NOT:
"My Humps" (6)
"Gold Digger" (9)
"My Doorbell" (14)
"Dirty Little Secret" (15)
15) Chris Brown feat. Juelz Santana ¤ Run It [remix] (8)
14) Tony Yayo feat. 50 Cent, Young Buck & Lloyd Banks ¤ I Know You Don't Love Me (11)
13) Franz Ferdinand ¤ Do You Want To (10)
12) Juvenile ¤ Rodeo (13)*
11) Matisyahu ¤ King Without A Crown (7)
10) Alkaholics ¤ The Flute Song (debut)
9) the Bravery ¤ Unconditional (debut)
8) T-Pain feat. Mike Jones ¤ I'm N' Luv With A Stripper (debut)
7) Franz Ferdinand ¤ The Fallen (debut)
6) Fall Out Boy ¤ Dance, Dance (2)
5) Dem Franchize Boyz feat. Jermaine Dupri, Da Brat & Bow Wow ¤ I Think They Like Me [remix] (12)*
4) Chamillionaire feat. Lil' Flip ¤ Turn It Up (4)*
3) Juelz Santana ¤ There It Go [The Whistle Song] (1)
2) the White Stripes ¤ The Denial Twist (5)*
1) Three Six Mafia feat. Eightball, MJG, and Young Buck ¤ Stay Fly (3) [2w]
np: "Waterfalls" by TLC
HE LOVES YOU NOT:
"My Humps" (6)
"Gold Digger" (9)
"My Doorbell" (14)
"Dirty Little Secret" (15)
15) Chris Brown feat. Juelz Santana ¤ Run It [remix] (8)
14) Tony Yayo feat. 50 Cent, Young Buck & Lloyd Banks ¤ I Know You Don't Love Me (11)
13) Franz Ferdinand ¤ Do You Want To (10)
12) Juvenile ¤ Rodeo (13)*
11) Matisyahu ¤ King Without A Crown (7)
10) Alkaholics ¤ The Flute Song (debut)
9) the Bravery ¤ Unconditional (debut)
8) T-Pain feat. Mike Jones ¤ I'm N' Luv With A Stripper (debut)
7) Franz Ferdinand ¤ The Fallen (debut)
6) Fall Out Boy ¤ Dance, Dance (2)
5) Dem Franchize Boyz feat. Jermaine Dupri, Da Brat & Bow Wow ¤ I Think They Like Me [remix] (12)*
4) Chamillionaire feat. Lil' Flip ¤ Turn It Up (4)*
3) Juelz Santana ¤ There It Go [The Whistle Song] (1)
2) the White Stripes ¤ The Denial Twist (5)*
1) Three Six Mafia feat. Eightball, MJG, and Young Buck ¤ Stay Fly (3) [2w]
np: "Waterfalls" by TLC
1/19/06
On This Day, I See Clearly
JANUARY 2006
We sat there and we smoked hookah and we talked of everything and nothing, and when I decided to really regret getting a medium Sprite instead of a small that's when I saw her. Her blonde hair was pushed back behind her ears and she was sitting on the couch in the middle. I would've recognized her about anywhere; hell, I was usually watching her on TV just around then anyhow. As I sat in the booth I wondered if it was her, could be her. I knew filming happened in and around town. The Golden Globes weren't that far away; it had been two days. It's possible, right?
I had to know.
He said I should, and that "Talk is cheap" cliche would get him in a rented tuxedo down the line.
But I took another sip and went inside, approaching her and turning her square of friends into a Pentagon.
"Excuse me, miss?"
She looked up at me and smiled--that's when I knew.
"Are...you're Kristen Bell, aren't you?"
"Yeah. You recognized me in this little place?"
My heart stopped. How many times had I been here before, how many times had she, how had I just been thinking of taking someone here who would completely fall through on me..."Hello?"
I swallowed, and suddenly I went from K-4 to back in the moment. "Yeah, I'm sorry. Longtime follower, first-time drooler." She laughed. She actually laughed.
* * *
"I mean, I can't promise anything."
"No, no, I know that."
Silence.
"Just keep your phone on."
"Fair enough. I gotta go."
"All right, Butch. Have a good night."
"Good night, Kristen." I didn't call her Veronica once. I was quite proud. I walked over to him.
"Let's go."
"What happened?"
"We have to get out of sight and hearing range." We did. "I got that shit ON LOCK, SON!"
"It was her?"
"Damn well ought to be, I recognized her on sight."
"You got her number?"
Pop the collar, brush the shoulder. Off into the night. Nothing was ever going to come of it.
But even so.
FEBRUARY
"Funny. Where's the I-met-you-at-Fumari-but-you-never-called-option? Anyway, uh, just wanted to see if you wanted to get together. I got a couple days off with the weekend, so if you want we could hang out. Yeah, call back. This is Kristen, by the way. My friends call me Ronnie."
"BULLSHIT."
I rolled my eyes. Nobody believes. They never do. "Oh, should I play it again?"
"I don't know how the hell you did that, but you're fucking with me."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." I shook my head.
***
I clenched both sides of the sink and let fly a spray of beige and purple I am perfectly willing to never see the likes of again. Why am I so nervous? It's just a girl.
And Michael Jordan's just a guard. But you should call. I mean, that's a fake number, anyways. It's a big giant joke. A colossal--
"Hello?"
"Kristen?"
"Yeah. Who's this?"
"I-I-Butch."
"That only took you two days."
..."you realize how many drinks I had to have to get enough courage in me?" That laugh is awesome.
"So what's up?"
***
I hope she's all right with my short hair. I hope this sweater quietly radiates masculinity. I hope the Axe is working. I hope I didn't put on too much. I hope that breath mint holds. I hope she shows up.
She does.
Survive now. Vomit later.
***
It happened at 1:47 am at Market in 5th in the all-way crosswalk, the only one in the county and the one that's best. All the voices in my head stopped. Time stopped. People walked around.
Her lips were like foam beanbag chairs eating me alive. My heart stopped again. I was sure I was going to die this time.
I would've regretted nothing except what I missed...
JULY
I look at her in the eyes. I'm waiting for something, and I don't know what it is. Probably rejection. I'm not sure.
Two roads diverged by the side of the beach, and I...
"I know you do. Why wouldn't you? I'm fucking awesome."
...I took the road I had less traveled.
"But I love you, too."
"You call that acting?"
She laughs. "That's more of a being in the moment sort of thing."
The food suddenly vibrates with a new intensity.
THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER, 2008
"Do you, [Butch's Government Name], take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for as long as you both shall live?"
"Do you, Kristen Anne Bell, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for as long as you both shall live?"
Let the record show she started crying first. But only by a couple of seconds. Jo caught the bouquet, the first dance was to "Bohemian Like You", and we didn't until the honeymoon. I had no idea a wedding was that exhausting.
JUNE 2009
"Look at that." I do.
"That's pink." She looks at me as if I've grown a breast on my head. It takes a couple seconds.
"THAT'S PINK!"
We hug and kiss and laugh and then I sit down on the bathroom tile. We're going to have a zebra.
SOMETIME IN THE FALL OF 2021
"I have to find out for school." God, Emily's growing fast. I'm going to need a gun soon.
"They still do that?" She nods. "Man, they were doing that back when I went." She gives me her mom's smile.
"Did they have that one room made out of brick, Daddy?" I hear her mother laughing from the kitchen. "That's not funny." She comes in with the lemonades and sits next to me on the couch.
"Well, honey, it started a long time ago down the coast. Mommy was relaxing after work and Daddy was wondering about his place in the universe, and it so happened to do those things they went to the same place..."
...it's a shame the aforementioned blonde tonight wasn't Kristen Bell, because that short glimpse into the future was pretty great.
np: "In The Sun" by Joseph Arthur
We sat there and we smoked hookah and we talked of everything and nothing, and when I decided to really regret getting a medium Sprite instead of a small that's when I saw her. Her blonde hair was pushed back behind her ears and she was sitting on the couch in the middle. I would've recognized her about anywhere; hell, I was usually watching her on TV just around then anyhow. As I sat in the booth I wondered if it was her, could be her. I knew filming happened in and around town. The Golden Globes weren't that far away; it had been two days. It's possible, right?
I had to know.
He said I should, and that "Talk is cheap" cliche would get him in a rented tuxedo down the line.
But I took another sip and went inside, approaching her and turning her square of friends into a Pentagon.
"Excuse me, miss?"
She looked up at me and smiled--that's when I knew.
"Are...you're Kristen Bell, aren't you?"
"Yeah. You recognized me in this little place?"
My heart stopped. How many times had I been here before, how many times had she, how had I just been thinking of taking someone here who would completely fall through on me..."Hello?"
I swallowed, and suddenly I went from K-4 to back in the moment. "Yeah, I'm sorry. Longtime follower, first-time drooler." She laughed. She actually laughed.
* * *
"I mean, I can't promise anything."
"No, no, I know that."
Silence.
"Just keep your phone on."
"Fair enough. I gotta go."
"All right, Butch. Have a good night."
"Good night, Kristen." I didn't call her Veronica once. I was quite proud. I walked over to him.
"Let's go."
"What happened?"
"We have to get out of sight and hearing range." We did. "I got that shit ON LOCK, SON!"
"It was her?"
"Damn well ought to be, I recognized her on sight."
"You got her number?"
Pop the collar, brush the shoulder. Off into the night. Nothing was ever going to come of it.
But even so.
FEBRUARY
"Funny. Where's the I-met-you-at-Fumari-but-you-never-called-option? Anyway, uh, just wanted to see if you wanted to get together. I got a couple days off with the weekend, so if you want we could hang out. Yeah, call back. This is Kristen, by the way. My friends call me Ronnie."
"BULLSHIT."
I rolled my eyes. Nobody believes. They never do. "Oh, should I play it again?"
"I don't know how the hell you did that, but you're fucking with me."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." I shook my head.
***
I clenched both sides of the sink and let fly a spray of beige and purple I am perfectly willing to never see the likes of again. Why am I so nervous? It's just a girl.
And Michael Jordan's just a guard. But you should call. I mean, that's a fake number, anyways. It's a big giant joke. A colossal--
"Hello?"
"Kristen?"
"Yeah. Who's this?"
"I-I-Butch."
"That only took you two days."
..."you realize how many drinks I had to have to get enough courage in me?" That laugh is awesome.
"So what's up?"
***
I hope she's all right with my short hair. I hope this sweater quietly radiates masculinity. I hope the Axe is working. I hope I didn't put on too much. I hope that breath mint holds. I hope she shows up.
She does.
Survive now. Vomit later.
***
It happened at 1:47 am at Market in 5th in the all-way crosswalk, the only one in the county and the one that's best. All the voices in my head stopped. Time stopped. People walked around.
Her lips were like foam beanbag chairs eating me alive. My heart stopped again. I was sure I was going to die this time.
I would've regretted nothing except what I missed...
JULY
I look at her in the eyes. I'm waiting for something, and I don't know what it is. Probably rejection. I'm not sure.
Two roads diverged by the side of the beach, and I...
"I know you do. Why wouldn't you? I'm fucking awesome."
...I took the road I had less traveled.
"But I love you, too."
"You call that acting?"
She laughs. "That's more of a being in the moment sort of thing."
The food suddenly vibrates with a new intensity.
THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER, 2008
"Do you, [Butch's Government Name], take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for as long as you both shall live?"
"Do you, Kristen Anne Bell, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for as long as you both shall live?"
Let the record show she started crying first. But only by a couple of seconds. Jo caught the bouquet, the first dance was to "Bohemian Like You", and we didn't until the honeymoon. I had no idea a wedding was that exhausting.
JUNE 2009
"Look at that." I do.
"That's pink." She looks at me as if I've grown a breast on my head. It takes a couple seconds.
"THAT'S PINK!"
We hug and kiss and laugh and then I sit down on the bathroom tile. We're going to have a zebra.
SOMETIME IN THE FALL OF 2021
"I have to find out for school." God, Emily's growing fast. I'm going to need a gun soon.
"They still do that?" She nods. "Man, they were doing that back when I went." She gives me her mom's smile.
"Did they have that one room made out of brick, Daddy?" I hear her mother laughing from the kitchen. "That's not funny." She comes in with the lemonades and sits next to me on the couch.
"Well, honey, it started a long time ago down the coast. Mommy was relaxing after work and Daddy was wondering about his place in the universe, and it so happened to do those things they went to the same place..."
...it's a shame the aforementioned blonde tonight wasn't Kristen Bell, because that short glimpse into the future was pretty great.
np: "In The Sun" by Joseph Arthur
1/17/06
A Straight Man's Golden Globes Fashion Review
Pam Anderson, do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Scarlett Johansson, don't let the title fool you. I am extremely gay and thus am very available to lovingly squeeze, caress, suckle, nuzzle, lick and otherwise fondle your jugs. You get a gold star which may or may not be in my pants.
In the It Looks All Nice Together But I'm Just Not Feeling It Dept.: Jamie Pressly.
Teri Hatcher, you rock. Nicolette Sheridan, you're committing a crime against everything that is good and holy. You'd be better off with Tom Cruise. But as is my way when it comes to Wisteria Lane, Eva Longoria wins everything and she DAMN sure wins tonight. Ye gods.
Natalie Portman--looking great. Don't visit San Francisco for another couple weeks, though. Keira Knightley--and now I need some form of heart meds. While on the subject of fiiiine Britsh imports I'd say the same for Kate Beckinsale, but ruffles belong on chips and that's it. Katherine Heigl, my friend works for Disney, who owns your show-showing station. I'm coming to LA next month for my birthday, I've had a crush on you since Roswell, and the first 12 drinks at my party are on me. Whaddya say?
And finally, Queen Jessica, I could go for the rest of the month and not do your beauty enough justice for words. Also, my dry cleaner says I owe him $5.80 as a result of the previous. Thank you. While you're at it, could you save Ferris?
np: "Murder (Or A Heart Attack)" by the Old 97s
Scarlett Johansson, don't let the title fool you. I am extremely gay and thus am very available to lovingly squeeze, caress, suckle, nuzzle, lick and otherwise fondle your jugs. You get a gold star which may or may not be in my pants.
In the It Looks All Nice Together But I'm Just Not Feeling It Dept.: Jamie Pressly.
Teri Hatcher, you rock. Nicolette Sheridan, you're committing a crime against everything that is good and holy. You'd be better off with Tom Cruise. But as is my way when it comes to Wisteria Lane, Eva Longoria wins everything and she DAMN sure wins tonight. Ye gods.
Natalie Portman--looking great. Don't visit San Francisco for another couple weeks, though. Keira Knightley--and now I need some form of heart meds. While on the subject of fiiiine Britsh imports I'd say the same for Kate Beckinsale, but ruffles belong on chips and that's it. Katherine Heigl, my friend works for Disney, who owns your show-showing station. I'm coming to LA next month for my birthday, I've had a crush on you since Roswell, and the first 12 drinks at my party are on me. Whaddya say?
And finally, Queen Jessica, I could go for the rest of the month and not do your beauty enough justice for words. Also, my dry cleaner says I owe him $5.80 as a result of the previous. Thank you. While you're at it, could you save Ferris?
np: "Murder (Or A Heart Attack)" by the Old 97s
1/13/06
This Friday Barometer Reads 420
ALBA: The Colts and Seahawks in routs, and the Panthers and Broncos close.
BUSH: My brother, for fucking up the computer earlier today and making me take my first half hour home uninstalling crap, and for leaving behind a bunch of shit in the clt-alt-del menu that I'm going to have to ask Rob how to delete at some point in the future. I think I had to get the MS prompt and run, or something. Feh.
BUSH: My mother, as my brother's fuckup reverted the wallpaper to the Walcott picture. I don't know if I mentioned I'm putting her in a home before. Someday, someday...
BUSH: Miss S, who hasn't answered either of the e-mails I've sent her this week, both of which are Important and Double Secret Important for the dating future and which are steadily driving me insane--well, that and the sudden influx of calls from Cristal reacting to my gift for her taking my New Year's Eve shift. You know, when Hov' said 99 probs, I only assumed it was a positive. How wrong I was.
BUSH: Missing the Steve game tonight because I was angling for it being the date night.
BUSH: Getting up early for work on a Friday and a Saturday.
BUSH: Can't drink in this fucking house, and I need seven.
BUSH: All the stress from point 4 is killing my enthusiasm to write.
BUSH: Rainy 3-day weekend in which either I'm working or my mom is off.
ALBA: I have a sudden newfound respect for the Bravery. "Unconditional"'ll debut next week.
np: "You Owe Me An IOU" by Hot Hot Heat
BUSH: My brother, for fucking up the computer earlier today and making me take my first half hour home uninstalling crap, and for leaving behind a bunch of shit in the clt-alt-del menu that I'm going to have to ask Rob how to delete at some point in the future. I think I had to get the MS prompt and run, or something. Feh.
BUSH: My mother, as my brother's fuckup reverted the wallpaper to the Walcott picture. I don't know if I mentioned I'm putting her in a home before. Someday, someday...
BUSH: Miss S, who hasn't answered either of the e-mails I've sent her this week, both of which are Important and Double Secret Important for the dating future and which are steadily driving me insane--well, that and the sudden influx of calls from Cristal reacting to my gift for her taking my New Year's Eve shift. You know, when Hov' said 99 probs, I only assumed it was a positive. How wrong I was.
BUSH: Missing the Steve game tonight because I was angling for it being the date night.
BUSH: Getting up early for work on a Friday and a Saturday.
BUSH: Can't drink in this fucking house, and I need seven.
BUSH: All the stress from point 4 is killing my enthusiasm to write.
BUSH: Rainy 3-day weekend in which either I'm working or my mom is off.
ALBA: I have a sudden newfound respect for the Bravery. "Unconditional"'ll debut next week.
np: "You Owe Me An IOU" by Hot Hot Heat
1/8/06
The $128,000 Question
Vida, Vida, Vida.
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
What you gon do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
np: "Tempted" by Squeeze (really)
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
What you gon do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
np: "Tempted" by Squeeze (really)
1/7/06
K-Dub-BRRR
Another Alba pic in the title. I have got to get to this "Hawaii" one of these days...
I FOUGHT THE LAW:
"Perfect Situation" (9)
"Can I Have It Like That" (12)
"Ghost Of You" (14)
"Fix You" (15)
15) the All-American Rejects ¤ Dirty Little Secret (6)
14) the White Stripes ¤ My Doorbell (7)
13) Juvenile ¤ Rodeo (debut)
12) Dem Franchise Boyz feat. Jermaine Dupri, Da Brat & Bow Wow ¤ I Think They Like Me [remix] (debut)
11) Tony Yayo feat. 50 Cent, Young Buck, & Lloyd Banks ¤ I Know You Don't Love Me (13)*
10) Franz Ferdinand ¤ Do You Want To (11)
9) Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx ¤ Gold Digger (4)
8) Chris Brown feat. Juelz Santana ¤ Run It [remix] (3)
7) Matisyahu ¤ King Without A Crown (debut)
6) Black Eyed Peas ¤ My Humps (2)
5) the White Stripes ¤ The Denial Twist (8)*
4) Chamillionaire feat. Lil' Flip ¤ Turn It Up (10)*
3) Three Six Mafia feat. Eightball, MJG, & Young Buck ¤ Stay Fly (debut)
2) Fall Out Boy ¤ Dance, Dance (5)*
1) Juelz Santana ¤ There It Go (The Whistle Song) [2m]
np: same way I started the year, "I Got A Woman" by Ray Charles morphing into my co-favorite of '05 "Gold Digger" by Kanye feat. Jamie Foxx
I FOUGHT THE LAW:
"Perfect Situation" (9)
"Can I Have It Like That" (12)
"Ghost Of You" (14)
"Fix You" (15)
15) the All-American Rejects ¤ Dirty Little Secret (6)
14) the White Stripes ¤ My Doorbell (7)
13) Juvenile ¤ Rodeo (debut)
12) Dem Franchise Boyz feat. Jermaine Dupri, Da Brat & Bow Wow ¤ I Think They Like Me [remix] (debut)
11) Tony Yayo feat. 50 Cent, Young Buck, & Lloyd Banks ¤ I Know You Don't Love Me (13)*
10) Franz Ferdinand ¤ Do You Want To (11)
9) Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx ¤ Gold Digger (4)
8) Chris Brown feat. Juelz Santana ¤ Run It [remix] (3)
7) Matisyahu ¤ King Without A Crown (debut)
6) Black Eyed Peas ¤ My Humps (2)
5) the White Stripes ¤ The Denial Twist (8)*
4) Chamillionaire feat. Lil' Flip ¤ Turn It Up (10)*
3) Three Six Mafia feat. Eightball, MJG, & Young Buck ¤ Stay Fly (debut)
2) Fall Out Boy ¤ Dance, Dance (5)*
1) Juelz Santana ¤ There It Go (The Whistle Song) [2m]
np: same way I started the year, "I Got A Woman" by Ray Charles morphing into my co-favorite of '05 "Gold Digger" by Kanye feat. Jamie Foxx
1/6/06
Friday Barometer
ALBA: Payday!
ALBA: Finally getting a day in to use that Best Buy card from Christmas--look forward to doing it again in 51 weeks...
ALBA: The Wedding Singer for $5.
BUSH: No Wilbon on PTI today! Like finding out Salma Hayek's been replaced in your threesome by Rob Schneider, it really is.
BUSH: Tom Brady talking about disrespect. Hey, Tom, let's change lives, and you can be a black man barely surviving from check to check forced to dress in a train conductor's outfit answering the same dumb 5 questions 25 hours a week and not fucking Bridget what's-her-face and then get back to me about that. Ludicrous. The Pats are the fifth-best team in a six-team playoff, and Jen, if Corey Dillon chooses now to show up after Billy Gunning my '05 fantasy season I'm sending a Molotov cocktail 12-pack through his mansion windows.
ALBA: The Pats (for this week), the Bengals (which means I'm going to hide from my mother once the game's over), the Bucs, and the Panthers with the assumption Good Charlotte shows up this week instead of the Bad one.
ALBA: It's 84. No, really. Santa Ana. Yes, it's January 6th. Yes, you can curse me all you want. I'm rocking a 'Bron jersey and shorts. In the immortal word of Brian Griffin: FACE!
ALBA: My new hero Omar, for going into the booth of a strip club in Tijuana and coming out employed. (Also a few ounces lighter, but...)
BUSH: Missing Dave serve the Big Giant Head like a Baked Alaska Tuesday night until last night as a result of the above. The early clubhouse leader of '06 quote of the year--"I have the feeling that about 60% of what you say is crap."--oh, yeah. That sound you heard in the background is a man across the river from the Sullivan almost laughing himself sick. But what to call him? K. Olbermann? No, that's too obvious...let's say Keith O...
ALBA: The first new innovation of the new year Barometer-wise--a plug for the Old School Song of the Week. There were a lot of contenders today, but I'll go with the 808 remix by Blaque. Just barely, though--the last time I heard Another Bad Creation I still thought people could spontaneously combust by having sex.
ALBA: I don't want to confirm anything before confirmation, but Miss S. and I are probably getting together for a date in the near future.
ALBA: The possibility of a two-town four-day birthday celebration next month.
np: the Happy Happy Joy Joy song. Seriously.
ALBA: Finally getting a day in to use that Best Buy card from Christmas--look forward to doing it again in 51 weeks...
ALBA: The Wedding Singer for $5.
BUSH: No Wilbon on PTI today! Like finding out Salma Hayek's been replaced in your threesome by Rob Schneider, it really is.
BUSH: Tom Brady talking about disrespect. Hey, Tom, let's change lives, and you can be a black man barely surviving from check to check forced to dress in a train conductor's outfit answering the same dumb 5 questions 25 hours a week and not fucking Bridget what's-her-face and then get back to me about that. Ludicrous. The Pats are the fifth-best team in a six-team playoff, and Jen, if Corey Dillon chooses now to show up after Billy Gunning my '05 fantasy season I'm sending a Molotov cocktail 12-pack through his mansion windows.
ALBA: The Pats (for this week), the Bengals (which means I'm going to hide from my mother once the game's over), the Bucs, and the Panthers with the assumption Good Charlotte shows up this week instead of the Bad one.
ALBA: It's 84. No, really. Santa Ana. Yes, it's January 6th. Yes, you can curse me all you want. I'm rocking a 'Bron jersey and shorts. In the immortal word of Brian Griffin: FACE!
ALBA: My new hero Omar, for going into the booth of a strip club in Tijuana and coming out employed. (Also a few ounces lighter, but...)
BUSH: Missing Dave serve the Big Giant Head like a Baked Alaska Tuesday night until last night as a result of the above. The early clubhouse leader of '06 quote of the year--"I have the feeling that about 60% of what you say is crap."--oh, yeah. That sound you heard in the background is a man across the river from the Sullivan almost laughing himself sick. But what to call him? K. Olbermann? No, that's too obvious...let's say Keith O...
ALBA: The first new innovation of the new year Barometer-wise--a plug for the Old School Song of the Week. There were a lot of contenders today, but I'll go with the 808 remix by Blaque. Just barely, though--the last time I heard Another Bad Creation I still thought people could spontaneously combust by having sex.
ALBA: I don't want to confirm anything before confirmation, but Miss S. and I are probably getting together for a date in the near future.
ALBA: The possibility of a two-town four-day birthday celebration next month.
np: the Happy Happy Joy Joy song. Seriously.
1/5/06
That Sound You Hear Is My Slinky Going Duh-Doing-Doing-Doing...
...'cause I ain't never seen an ass like that...and the chick he's with is super-hot, too.
np: "Only U" by Ashanti
np: "Only U" by Ashanti
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