I'm Sorry, Sir, This Trip To The Woodshed Is One-Way Only
Poor Dustin didn't believe the power of Grampa Style, and by the end he was longing for the relative comfort of soiled diapers, loud wives, and second-rate ice cream. After the end of the fourth game and my fourth W, I stepped in front of him and moved my arms slightly back and forth.
"What's that?" he asked me.
"Oh, nothin'." I tells him. "Just doing a little sweeping."
67% improvement--I am nearly MEDIOCRE! I could be a triple digit average by JUNE! Go me.
99, 133, 154 (9 X X / 8 8 8 X X 9) and 107.
As a wise man once said in a drunken stupor, back up in your ass with the ressurrection.
Ambient music: Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth's "T.R.O.Y. (They Reminisce Over You)"
4/24/04
4/22/04
Kingpin, Not A Pauper
A smile that said yes even when the words were unsure.
KBv2 times two. That's all you American women are good for, ordering in restaurants and spending men's money. Bitch, you don't have a future. Lay down honey, you're playing possum. Eyeball:Emilio::mother::daughter. Speak on it, my nigga QT, speak on it.
A subpar 80, and a 103 to run my sudden hot streak in bowling to 6 out of the last 7 games at the century mark. (Before this year, I roughly averaged 70 and that's probably being generous.)
And in the middle of that, a 1motherfucking55, outdoing my best by 20+.
The scorecard:
9 9 8 9 X X / / / / /7
Hot damn, the kid's catching fire like Richard Pyror.
Currently playing: Meth & Red's "Y.O.U."
A smile that said yes even when the words were unsure.
KBv2 times two. That's all you American women are good for, ordering in restaurants and spending men's money. Bitch, you don't have a future. Lay down honey, you're playing possum. Eyeball:Emilio::mother::daughter. Speak on it, my nigga QT, speak on it.
A subpar 80, and a 103 to run my sudden hot streak in bowling to 6 out of the last 7 games at the century mark. (Before this year, I roughly averaged 70 and that's probably being generous.)
And in the middle of that, a 1motherfucking55, outdoing my best by 20+.
The scorecard:
9 9 8 9 X X / / / / /7
Hot damn, the kid's catching fire like Richard Pyror.
Currently playing: Meth & Red's "Y.O.U."
4/20/04
Hey Yo
1) What time do you get up?
--> Depends on school and work. Anywhere from 4 (and boy do I not miss that aspect of working life) to noon.
2) If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be?
--> The obvious answer is Jessica Alba. So I'll say that.
3) What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
--> Kill Motherfucking Bill volume motherfucking 2!
4) What is your favorite show?
--> Scrubs or 24.
5) What do you have for breakfast?
--> Nothing/cereal/muffins/toaster-based items
6) Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with?
--> Dubya.
7) What/who inspires you?
--> Random moments, my friends, music
8) What is your middle name?
--> Danger. No, Ruben.
9) Beach, city, or country?
--> Right near the beach. BOY!
10) Favorite ice cream?
--> Cookies n' Cream or Cookie Dough.
11) Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
--> SALT.
12) Favorite color?
--> Orange. Teal. The blood of the innocent.
13) What kind of car do you drive?
--> BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
14) Favorite sandwich?
--> Grab n' Go, sans tomatoes and onions with extra peppers (note: will find out the meats at a later point)
15) What characteristic do you despise the most?
--> Willful idiocy
16) Favorite flower?
--> The one in Bambi
17) If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be?
--> VEGAS, BABY! Vegas.
18) What color is your bathroom?
--> Whatever color the crap my brother left laying around is in any given day.
19) Favorite brand of clothing?
--> Pfft...uh...Hot Topic's not a brand, huh? Nike? I dunno.
20) Where would you retire to?
--> Monterrey, or maybe Malibu.
21) Favorite day of the week?
--> Whatever day I'm off
22) What did you do for your last birthday?
--> Took a test, went to work, hated you all
23) Who was your first love?
--> Jenny Soto, 8th grade
24) Favorite sport to watch?
--> Football, basketball, a really good Iron Chef episode
25) Who do you least expect to send this back to you?
--> Ryan Chappelle.
26) Who'll send it back first?
--> bluh? Er...let's say...Rob.
27) What fabric detergent do you use?
--> Tide. I think.
28) Coke or Pepsi?
--> Pepsi in America, Coke in Mexico.
29) Are you a morning person or a night person?
--> I'm a free time person.
30) Do you have any pets?
--> I don't count, right? No.
Currently playing: Violent Femmes' "Kiss Off"
1) What time do you get up?
--> Depends on school and work. Anywhere from 4 (and boy do I not miss that aspect of working life) to noon.
2) If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be?
--> The obvious answer is Jessica Alba. So I'll say that.
3) What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
--> Kill Motherfucking Bill volume motherfucking 2!
4) What is your favorite show?
--> Scrubs or 24.
5) What do you have for breakfast?
--> Nothing/cereal/muffins/toaster-based items
6) Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with?
--> Dubya.
7) What/who inspires you?
--> Random moments, my friends, music
8) What is your middle name?
--> Danger. No, Ruben.
9) Beach, city, or country?
--> Right near the beach. BOY!
10) Favorite ice cream?
--> Cookies n' Cream or Cookie Dough.
11) Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
--> SALT.
12) Favorite color?
--> Orange. Teal. The blood of the innocent.
13) What kind of car do you drive?
--> BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
14) Favorite sandwich?
--> Grab n' Go, sans tomatoes and onions with extra peppers (note: will find out the meats at a later point)
15) What characteristic do you despise the most?
--> Willful idiocy
16) Favorite flower?
--> The one in Bambi
17) If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be?
--> VEGAS, BABY! Vegas.
18) What color is your bathroom?
--> Whatever color the crap my brother left laying around is in any given day.
19) Favorite brand of clothing?
--> Pfft...uh...Hot Topic's not a brand, huh? Nike? I dunno.
20) Where would you retire to?
--> Monterrey, or maybe Malibu.
21) Favorite day of the week?
--> Whatever day I'm off
22) What did you do for your last birthday?
--> Took a test, went to work, hated you all
23) Who was your first love?
--> Jenny Soto, 8th grade
24) Favorite sport to watch?
--> Football, basketball, a really good Iron Chef episode
25) Who do you least expect to send this back to you?
--> Ryan Chappelle.
26) Who'll send it back first?
--> bluh? Er...let's say...Rob.
27) What fabric detergent do you use?
--> Tide. I think.
28) Coke or Pepsi?
--> Pepsi in America, Coke in Mexico.
29) Are you a morning person or a night person?
--> I'm a free time person.
30) Do you have any pets?
--> I don't count, right? No.
Currently playing: Violent Femmes' "Kiss Off"
4/17/04
From the Home Office Next To Phil Mickelson's Old 500 Pound Gorilla
Past Tense: "Sunrise", 5; "Dirt Off Your Shoulder", 10
[10] Joss Stone => Fell In Love With A Boy (8)
[09] Incubus => Megalomaniac (6)
[08] N.E.R.D. => She Wants To Move (4)
[07] the Strokes => Reptilia (N)*
[06] Outkast => Roses (N)*
[05] Beyonce => Naughty Girl (9)*
[04] D-12 => My Band (7)*
[03] Yellowcard => Ocean Avenue (3)
[02] Kanye West => All Falls Down (1)
[01] G-Unit feat. Joe => Wanna Get To Know Ya (2) [4w, 2r]
Currently playing: Macy Gray's "Sweet Baby"
Past Tense: "Sunrise", 5; "Dirt Off Your Shoulder", 10
[10] Joss Stone => Fell In Love With A Boy (8)
[09] Incubus => Megalomaniac (6)
[08] N.E.R.D. => She Wants To Move (4)
[07] the Strokes => Reptilia (N)*
[06] Outkast => Roses (N)*
[05] Beyonce => Naughty Girl (9)*
[04] D-12 => My Band (7)*
[03] Yellowcard => Ocean Avenue (3)
[02] Kanye West => All Falls Down (1)
[01] G-Unit feat. Joe => Wanna Get To Know Ya (2) [4w, 2r]
Currently playing: Macy Gray's "Sweet Baby"
4/16/04
"I overreacted."
MAD SPOILERS WARNING, SON
Kill Bill volume 2 (a million trillion stars):
I loved v1 (AHH). I mean, outside of LotRotK it was the blow-away movie of the year in '03. Now, I don't get hyped up about the movies too much, not prone to hyperbole, so you can best believe when I say...
Volume 2 kicked Volume 1's ASS.
David Carradine, master of the flute, for Best Supporting Actor? Daaaaaaaamn straight! The Superman solioquy alone is the first time something in my mind about pop culture has been changed by a movie character's viewpoint since Hooper in Chasing Amy. You wants great reveals we gots your great reveals: Budd's sword and where he kept it, the Bride's name--what an eyeball popper that was for me since I avoided spoilers. GRRRRRRRRRRRREAT. The Pai Mei sequence on it's own is enough to get this thing Best Picture--mad dap for Gordon Liu even if I like Sonny Chiba better. How she got rid of Elle (especially after some Rock/Austin X7 buildup) and Bill--MWAH.
Tarantino playing Office Space in the titty bar damn near soiled my armor, as did the whole Sister Sledge scene after (strange eletronic noise--hey, I won't give that away) checked into her hotel.
There's your name. There was your name.
Congratulations.
Poor Emilio.
Mace or the flashlight.
I could keep going for days, you know. Rufus...he's the man. [Stay for the credits if you really want to know just how much the man he really is.]
Point is...oh, and Elle's "book report" before she got her money back. Yeah, that blew my hinges off too.
POINT IS FUCKDAMMIT you WILL see this, you will thank your deity of choice, and then you WILL see it again.
I bow before Quentin Tarantino. HARD.
Consider me bloody satisfied.
Currently playing: G-Unit's "Stunt 101"
MAD SPOILERS WARNING, SON
Kill Bill volume 2 (a million trillion stars):
I loved v1 (AHH). I mean, outside of LotRotK it was the blow-away movie of the year in '03. Now, I don't get hyped up about the movies too much, not prone to hyperbole, so you can best believe when I say...
Volume 2 kicked Volume 1's ASS.
David Carradine, master of the flute, for Best Supporting Actor? Daaaaaaaamn straight! The Superman solioquy alone is the first time something in my mind about pop culture has been changed by a movie character's viewpoint since Hooper in Chasing Amy. You wants great reveals we gots your great reveals: Budd's sword and where he kept it, the Bride's name--what an eyeball popper that was for me since I avoided spoilers. GRRRRRRRRRRRREAT. The Pai Mei sequence on it's own is enough to get this thing Best Picture--mad dap for Gordon Liu even if I like Sonny Chiba better. How she got rid of Elle (especially after some Rock/Austin X7 buildup) and Bill--MWAH.
Tarantino playing Office Space in the titty bar damn near soiled my armor, as did the whole Sister Sledge scene after (strange eletronic noise--hey, I won't give that away) checked into her hotel.
There's your name. There was your name.
Congratulations.
Poor Emilio.
Mace or the flashlight.
I could keep going for days, you know. Rufus...he's the man. [Stay for the credits if you really want to know just how much the man he really is.]
Point is...oh, and Elle's "book report" before she got her money back. Yeah, that blew my hinges off too.
POINT IS FUCKDAMMIT you WILL see this, you will thank your deity of choice, and then you WILL see it again.
I bow before Quentin Tarantino. HARD.
Consider me bloody satisfied.
Currently playing: G-Unit's "Stunt 101"
4/13/04
Everything Old Is New Again
I just wasn't made for these times.
See, some guys are into it. The Hunt. The Chase. Some guys are like Steve Irwin and they just can do it. They look forward to the preamble and the setup and all that chewy goodness.
I am not one of those guys.
I hate this period, it drives me insane. It makes me wish I could go the Wizard of Oz and gets me some courage because...you know, it just drives me nuts. The whole stakeout thing and playing Do You Like Me Check Yes No Or Maybe. I know now that when it comes up to the actual dates and dating itself, I'm quite fine with those things. And some have told me I'm excellent.
But all the shit before it, just drives me nuts. I'm talking "if it weren't for my horse I wouldn't've spent that year in college". Women need to come with subtitles.
And Steve help me, I'm about yea away from asking her out next week.
The moral of the story, as usual, is I need professional help.
Oh, and motherfuck President Fuckface for cancelling 24 tonight. Fucking Eugene.
Currently playing: John Cougar Mellencamp Airplane Starship Enterprise's "Authority Song"
I just wasn't made for these times.
See, some guys are into it. The Hunt. The Chase. Some guys are like Steve Irwin and they just can do it. They look forward to the preamble and the setup and all that chewy goodness.
I am not one of those guys.
I hate this period, it drives me insane. It makes me wish I could go the Wizard of Oz and gets me some courage because...you know, it just drives me nuts. The whole stakeout thing and playing Do You Like Me Check Yes No Or Maybe. I know now that when it comes up to the actual dates and dating itself, I'm quite fine with those things. And some have told me I'm excellent.
But all the shit before it, just drives me nuts. I'm talking "if it weren't for my horse I wouldn't've spent that year in college". Women need to come with subtitles.
And Steve help me, I'm about yea away from asking her out next week.
The moral of the story, as usual, is I need professional help.
Oh, and motherfuck President Fuckface for cancelling 24 tonight. Fucking Eugene.
Currently playing: John Cougar Mellencamp Airplane Starship Enterprise's "Authority Song"
4/9/04
Another Broken Campaign Promise
This one is...that there is going to be one.
Well, I found out some relocation of the family is going on, since this is a high-rent district (possibly out of state--YIKES). Plus, the filiming would make miss Comic-Con, and I gotta hurry up this script to big Kev so he can make another money making move.
So I drop out of the race and throw my support behind Kerry.
Besides, 2016 is when it'll count.
Currently playing: Love & Rockets' "So Alive"
This one is...that there is going to be one.
Well, I found out some relocation of the family is going on, since this is a high-rent district (possibly out of state--YIKES). Plus, the filiming would make miss Comic-Con, and I gotta hurry up this script to big Kev so he can make another money making move.
So I drop out of the race and throw my support behind Kerry.
Besides, 2016 is when it'll count.
Currently playing: Love & Rockets' "So Alive"
4/4/04
We Await The Repsonses From Those Pussies Bush & Kerry
[Jewelry worn daily]: Maybe the Guess watch, but that about it.
[Pillow]: 3, one for loitering and two I sleep on top of stacked together like a soft little princess
[Shoes]: black Chuck Taylor in general, grungy white Pumas at work
[Favorite top]: Bullets Jordan throwback
[Favorite bottoms]: Jeans.
[Cologne/Perfume]: Cologne is a town in Germany to me.
[CD in stereo right now]: the Green Day Greatest Hits CD
[Piercings]: none
[Hair]: preferably none
[What you are wearing now]: plaid shorts, white T-shirt with "You Might Be A College Student If..." on the back
[In my mouth]: tongue, soon to be joined by Cookie Dough from B & J
[Inmyhead]: I should ask her. I should get some writing done while the house is quiet. I really should ask her.
[After this]: Enough porn to kill a elephant! And maybe writing. And sleep.
[Talking to]: Myself, per usual
[The last thing you ate?]: Mushroom & pepperoni pizza
[Some of your favorite movies]: Ferris Bueller's Day Off, the Shawshank Redemption, Office Space, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, High Fidelity
[Something that you are deathly afraid of]: dying alone
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: Not really.
[Do you belive in forgiveness]: Sort of?
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: SNAKE!
[What are 3 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to?]: Los Angeles, Miami, New York
[What's something you wish you could understand better?]: WOMEN.
[In the last 24 hours, have you]
01. Cried?: Nope
02. Bought something?: Food
03. Gotten sick?: No
04. Sang?: A few times
05. Eaten?: Doing so right now
07. Felt stupid?: Yeah
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't?: Nope. Wanted to tell someone ¿Quieres salir conmigo al cine?, but that's another thang entirely, innit?
09. Met someone new?: Kinda sorta.
10. Moved on?: Mostly. I guess.
11. Talked to an ex?: Nope.
12. Missed an ex?: A little.
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on?: Haven't.
14. Had a serious talk?: Seriously ODD.
15. Missed someone?: A little.
16. Hugged someone?: No.
17. Fought with your parent?: Uh-uh, they're away.
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with?: Well, that all depends if she likes me or not, so...Incomplete.
[Who]
01. Have you known the longest?: Dustin.
02. Do you argue with the most with?: Myself.
03. Do you always get along with?: Ivan, because he's nondemonstrative.
04. Is the trustworthiest?: Ivan. Or Amanda.
05. Makes you laugh the most?: Stupid people.
06. Has been there through all the hard times?: Amanda.
07. Has the coolest parents?: Dustin.
08. Have the coolest siblings?: Dustin, because hot DAMN did Heidi grow up to be a piece of a...oh, that said coolest. Well, fuck it, reasoning still stands. *bangs gavel*
09. Is the most blunt?: That'd be me. Free your mind and your ass will follow.
10. Is the smartest?: Depends on the subject. If you needed like swiss army knife smarts I'd throw Amanda in there.
[Personal]
01. Who is your role model?: It's probably me, my dad, and Chris Rock, probably not in that order.
02. What is some of your pet peeves?: Stupidity, ignorance, stupidity, stupidity, not listening...
03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with?: Mariel Fernandez. I still think I could've, though, if I'd tried. This is the "up" period of my bipolarity.
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex?: Not in a few years, but yeah.
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after?: Brains, Sweetness, Looks. Other than those qualities if you lined up the girls of my past it'd be a virtual U.N. meeting.
06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s)?: "Sure, you should get married." Try your waitress, tip the veal.
07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you?: I want to get revenge on complete strangers for asking me retarded questions, are you kidding me?
08. Rather be dumper or dumped?: Dumper. Dumpee sucks.
09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup"?: 52% love, 48% lust.
10. Want someone you don't have right now?: Hell yes. And it's like an itch I can't quite reach, which is all the more exacerbating. (You Might Be A Journalism Student If...during the course of a questionaire the first word you think of to accurately describe your plight is a word like exacerbating.)
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend?: You asked me this down the line, too. So go there.
12. Do you want to get married?: It depends. If it happens this decade expect the Apocalypse during the honeymoon.
13. Do you want kids?: Down the line. By which I mean 2016.
14. Do you believe in psychics?: Scam
15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time?: Probably not. Everything is subject to change; you also have to allow for everything to not change.
16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance?: All the walking I do at work has made my legs nice according to outside sources.
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being?: Haven't given it much thought.
18. Are you happy with you?: Mostly.
19. Are you happy with your life?: Mostly.
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be?: Either she'd be mine or I'd be living outside of the familial shadow.
Have you...
1. Fallen for your best friend?: I did, for a while. Only because of the understanding and caring and whatnot.
3. Been rejected?: More times than guacamole ice cream.
4. Been in love?: Yeah.
5. Used someone?: Friendships are just ways to use people, right? Right? I mean, when you get down to it, you don't want to be alone so you have this support group to take your mind off your own shit and have some fun activities and whatnot. Everybody uses everybody.
6. Been used?: Maybe mentally?
8. Done something you regret?: Yes.
Who was the last person..
9. You touched?: *points* *to* *self*
10. You talked to?: In person?: Ivan, in both instances, last night
12. You instant messaged?: Bluh...Rob?
14. You had sex with?: *points*...well, you get the point
15. You yelled at?: Me.
16. You laughed with?: Ivan.
17. Who broke your heart?: Elizabeth McMunn, two and a half years ago (*WOW*), through no fault of her own
Do you..
19. Color your hair?: I want to grow a Fro and dye it some ludicrous color.
20. Have tattoos?: Maybe someday.
21. Have piercings?: No.
22. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: I'm between things instead of legs at the moment, sure.
23. Own a webcam?: Negatory.
24. Own a thong?: No.
25. Ever get off the damn computer?: Sure.
27. Habla espanol?: Working on it, working on it.
28. Quack?: Only when the Mighty Ducks happens to be on and they hit the Flying V.
Have you / do you / are you...
29. Stolen anything?: My record has been clean for TWO DECADES.
30. Smoke?: Not cigarettes...
32. Obsessive?: Some.
33. Compulsive?: That would mean I'm clean, so no.
34. Obsessive compulsive?: Nah.
35. Panic?: Yeah, but only to protect myself.
36. Anxiety?: Only when I'm awake.
37. Depressed?: Depends on the moment.
38. Suicidal?: No.
39. Obsessed with hate?: Yeah. Sorry, too many idiots.
40. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore?: It has been known to happen, usually via me going on rampages with or without chainsaw. Favorite: stabbing my boss in the eye with a chainsaw after getting a verbal reprimand, and then as they screamed with the chainsaw sticking out of their socket I kicked him squah in the balls.
*Questions*
41. If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: Vegas. Puerto. An actual spring break instead of this.
42. Can you do anything freakish with your body?: Yes, and one day I want a woman to be present to cause them.
43. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: Eyes.
44. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: Depends on her platform and not against me this year, bitch! Get in the kitchen! SAMICH! MAU! DIDI MAU!
45. Would you marry for money?: Marrying for money is wrong unless it's like Paris Hilton money. You marry when you're horribly, horribly trapped.
46. Have you had braces?: Nope.
47. Do you pluck your eyebrows?: I keep meaning to do it, right after I get the rest of the sex change done. *smack*
48. Do you like hairy backs?: Not as much as Erica does, apparently. *snort*
50. Could you live without a computer?: Not anymore I couldn't. Lousy free porn. Oh, who'm I kidding? I love you, free porn! *dryhumps*
51. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc?: AIM.
52. If so, how many people are on your list(s)?: 24, roughly.
53. If you could live in any past, where would it be?: the good old days, the same old ways that kept us dying/yes you, me myself and I'n
54. Do you wear white socks?: Yes.
55. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: Depends where I'm walking.
56. Your favorite fruit?: Oranges.
57. Do you eat wheat bread or white?: Wheat bread is for dirty, dirty hippies.
58. What is your favorite place to visit?: Vegas, baby, Vegas.
59. What is the last movie you saw?: Starsky & Hutch.
61. Are you photogenic?: As long as I don't show my teeth when I smile.
62. Do you dream in color or black and white?: Color, though sometimes during flashback sequences (don't get me started) it goes to black and white. Another thing I want to blame on the Wonder Years.
63. Are you wearing fingernail polish?: Not right now.
64. Is it chipped or fresh?: It's fresh. EXCIIIIIIIITING!
65. Do you have any dimples?: Do black people get dimples? Can someone look into this?
66. Do you remember being born?: No.
67. Why do you take surveys?: Boredom.
68. Do you drink alcohol?: Not in the last 26 hours!
69. Did you like or do you like high school?: High school, with the exception of the friends I made and about 4 events, blew like a porn marathon.
70. What is the best accent?: British on a woman. Giggidy giggidy giggidy.
71. Who do you want to kiss?: Stephanie the aforementioned Her.
72. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: Sunrise is really overrated. Sunsets is only good when you got a SO. So give me 1:30 in the afternoon on a day off with a cold beverage and a good time instead.
73. Do you want to live to be 100?: Only because dying scares the shit out of me.
74. Is a flat stomach important to you?: On a girl it would be nice but I don't think it's mandatory.
75. Do you or have you played with a ouija board?: No.
76. Are you loyal?: Fiercely. Mostly because no one's come up with the good money to bribe me yet.
77. Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?: As long as they don't beat me over the head with it or fuck up my fun.
78. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: Off. What sort of cultish weirdo watches with the lights on? You're going for a movie experience!
79. Do you like your nose?: I like it more without boogers in it.
80. Do you think you can draw well?: Drawing sucks.
81. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?: Probably in elementary school. End result was the same so what sort of fuck did I give?
82. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: 0 (four scattered about the floor)
83. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: I'd wear my Chucks all the time if I could.
84. Do you write poetry?: Not anymore.
85. Snore?: I've heard I do.
86. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: Sides.
87. Cats/Dogs?: DOGS.
88. Do you lick stamps?: Yeah, disgusting as that is.
89. Do you use an electric can opener?: Hell yes.
90. Have you ridden in a hotair balloon?: No.
here we go...
Like your name?: My name f'n rocks.
Were you named after anyone?: My dad and the bully on the Little Rascals
Do you wish on stars?: Nope.
Which finger is your favorite?: The middle (probably because I make it work so much).
When did you last cry?: It's been a few years. I'll say 9/11, but even that seems off and wrong to me.
Do you like your handwriting?: I have no strong feelings about my cursive script.
Who do you admire?: Seth Green.
What is your favorite animal?: Piranha.
If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself?: Probably not.
Are you a daredevil?: Not until I get some medical insurance I ain't.
Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?: Probably. Arsed if I know.
Have you ever stolen anything?: A toy car when I was 5.
Do looks matter?: Football analogy: looks are the offense, personality & brains are the defense. There've been plenty of legendary high-scoring offenses that were awesome and put butts in the seats, but defense wins championships.
Have you ever miss used a word and it sounded absolutely stupid?: Heh, miss used. YOU DID!
Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: Don't believe the hype, it's a sequel/as an equal can I get this through to you?
Are you trendy?: I want to say no but in some circles anti-trendy is trendy so I don't know.
How do you release anger?: Cursing. Rock music. Punching shit. Cursing.
Do you trust others easily?: Not really.
What was your favorite toy as a child?: Playdoh
Do you like sappy love songs?: I do when I'm crushing or in love. Then when I'm not I say "fuck this shit" and reach for some Slipknot.
Have you ever been on radio or television?: For a couple seconds: I was at a girls basketball playoff game with my friends, we were all wearing face paint, and I was teaching them the Train dance during a timeout.
Do you have a journal?: What do you think this is?
Do you use sarcasm a lot?: Only the times when I open my mouth.
Have you ever been in another country?: Sadly, no.
What is your nickname?: I don't have one outside the obvious.
Would you bungee jump?: The crazy thing is I want to but I'm acrophobic.
Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?: Sometimes.
What are you worried about right now?: Her.
Do you ever wear overalls?: Sorry, I live west of the Mississippi and don't fuck pigs, despite what Harris may've told you.
Do you think you are strong?: Nah. I don't think I am mentally either though I've been told otherwise.
Currently playing: Fat Joe, Ashanti & her little dog, too's "What's Luv?"
[Jewelry worn daily]: Maybe the Guess watch, but that about it.
[Pillow]: 3, one for loitering and two I sleep on top of stacked together like a soft little princess
[Shoes]: black Chuck Taylor in general, grungy white Pumas at work
[Favorite top]: Bullets Jordan throwback
[Favorite bottoms]: Jeans.
[Cologne/Perfume]: Cologne is a town in Germany to me.
[CD in stereo right now]: the Green Day Greatest Hits CD
[Piercings]: none
[Hair]: preferably none
[What you are wearing now]: plaid shorts, white T-shirt with "You Might Be A College Student If..." on the back
[In my mouth]: tongue, soon to be joined by Cookie Dough from B & J
[Inmyhead]: I should ask her. I should get some writing done while the house is quiet. I really should ask her.
[After this]: Enough porn to kill a elephant! And maybe writing. And sleep.
[Talking to]: Myself, per usual
[The last thing you ate?]: Mushroom & pepperoni pizza
[Some of your favorite movies]: Ferris Bueller's Day Off, the Shawshank Redemption, Office Space, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, High Fidelity
[Something that you are deathly afraid of]: dying alone
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: Not really.
[Do you belive in forgiveness]: Sort of?
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: SNAKE!
[What are 3 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to?]: Los Angeles, Miami, New York
[What's something you wish you could understand better?]: WOMEN.
[In the last 24 hours, have you]
01. Cried?: Nope
02. Bought something?: Food
03. Gotten sick?: No
04. Sang?: A few times
05. Eaten?: Doing so right now
07. Felt stupid?: Yeah
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't?: Nope. Wanted to tell someone ¿Quieres salir conmigo al cine?, but that's another thang entirely, innit?
09. Met someone new?: Kinda sorta.
10. Moved on?: Mostly. I guess.
11. Talked to an ex?: Nope.
12. Missed an ex?: A little.
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on?: Haven't.
14. Had a serious talk?: Seriously ODD.
15. Missed someone?: A little.
16. Hugged someone?: No.
17. Fought with your parent?: Uh-uh, they're away.
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with?: Well, that all depends if she likes me or not, so...Incomplete.
[Who]
01. Have you known the longest?: Dustin.
02. Do you argue with the most with?: Myself.
03. Do you always get along with?: Ivan, because he's nondemonstrative.
04. Is the trustworthiest?: Ivan. Or Amanda.
05. Makes you laugh the most?: Stupid people.
06. Has been there through all the hard times?: Amanda.
07. Has the coolest parents?: Dustin.
08. Have the coolest siblings?: Dustin, because hot DAMN did Heidi grow up to be a piece of a...oh, that said coolest. Well, fuck it, reasoning still stands. *bangs gavel*
09. Is the most blunt?: That'd be me. Free your mind and your ass will follow.
10. Is the smartest?: Depends on the subject. If you needed like swiss army knife smarts I'd throw Amanda in there.
[Personal]
01. Who is your role model?: It's probably me, my dad, and Chris Rock, probably not in that order.
02. What is some of your pet peeves?: Stupidity, ignorance, stupidity, stupidity, not listening...
03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with?: Mariel Fernandez. I still think I could've, though, if I'd tried. This is the "up" period of my bipolarity.
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex?: Not in a few years, but yeah.
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after?: Brains, Sweetness, Looks. Other than those qualities if you lined up the girls of my past it'd be a virtual U.N. meeting.
06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s)?: "Sure, you should get married." Try your waitress, tip the veal.
07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you?: I want to get revenge on complete strangers for asking me retarded questions, are you kidding me?
08. Rather be dumper or dumped?: Dumper. Dumpee sucks.
09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup"?: 52% love, 48% lust.
10. Want someone you don't have right now?: Hell yes. And it's like an itch I can't quite reach, which is all the more exacerbating. (You Might Be A Journalism Student If...during the course of a questionaire the first word you think of to accurately describe your plight is a word like exacerbating.)
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend?: You asked me this down the line, too. So go there.
12. Do you want to get married?: It depends. If it happens this decade expect the Apocalypse during the honeymoon.
13. Do you want kids?: Down the line. By which I mean 2016.
14. Do you believe in psychics?: Scam
15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time?: Probably not. Everything is subject to change; you also have to allow for everything to not change.
16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance?: All the walking I do at work has made my legs nice according to outside sources.
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being?: Haven't given it much thought.
18. Are you happy with you?: Mostly.
19. Are you happy with your life?: Mostly.
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be?: Either she'd be mine or I'd be living outside of the familial shadow.
Have you...
1. Fallen for your best friend?: I did, for a while. Only because of the understanding and caring and whatnot.
3. Been rejected?: More times than guacamole ice cream.
4. Been in love?: Yeah.
5. Used someone?: Friendships are just ways to use people, right? Right? I mean, when you get down to it, you don't want to be alone so you have this support group to take your mind off your own shit and have some fun activities and whatnot. Everybody uses everybody.
6. Been used?: Maybe mentally?
8. Done something you regret?: Yes.
Who was the last person..
9. You touched?: *points* *to* *self*
10. You talked to?: In person?: Ivan, in both instances, last night
12. You instant messaged?: Bluh...Rob?
14. You had sex with?: *points*...well, you get the point
15. You yelled at?: Me.
16. You laughed with?: Ivan.
17. Who broke your heart?: Elizabeth McMunn, two and a half years ago (*WOW*), through no fault of her own
Do you..
19. Color your hair?: I want to grow a Fro and dye it some ludicrous color.
20. Have tattoos?: Maybe someday.
21. Have piercings?: No.
22. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: I'm between things instead of legs at the moment, sure.
23. Own a webcam?: Negatory.
24. Own a thong?: No.
25. Ever get off the damn computer?: Sure.
27. Habla espanol?: Working on it, working on it.
28. Quack?: Only when the Mighty Ducks happens to be on and they hit the Flying V.
Have you / do you / are you...
29. Stolen anything?: My record has been clean for TWO DECADES.
30. Smoke?: Not cigarettes...
32. Obsessive?: Some.
33. Compulsive?: That would mean I'm clean, so no.
34. Obsessive compulsive?: Nah.
35. Panic?: Yeah, but only to protect myself.
36. Anxiety?: Only when I'm awake.
37. Depressed?: Depends on the moment.
38. Suicidal?: No.
39. Obsessed with hate?: Yeah. Sorry, too many idiots.
40. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore?: It has been known to happen, usually via me going on rampages with or without chainsaw. Favorite: stabbing my boss in the eye with a chainsaw after getting a verbal reprimand, and then as they screamed with the chainsaw sticking out of their socket I kicked him squah in the balls.
*Questions*
41. If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: Vegas. Puerto. An actual spring break instead of this.
42. Can you do anything freakish with your body?: Yes, and one day I want a woman to be present to cause them.
43. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: Eyes.
44. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: Depends on her platform and not against me this year, bitch! Get in the kitchen! SAMICH! MAU! DIDI MAU!
45. Would you marry for money?: Marrying for money is wrong unless it's like Paris Hilton money. You marry when you're horribly, horribly trapped.
46. Have you had braces?: Nope.
47. Do you pluck your eyebrows?: I keep meaning to do it, right after I get the rest of the sex change done. *smack*
48. Do you like hairy backs?: Not as much as Erica does, apparently. *snort*
50. Could you live without a computer?: Not anymore I couldn't. Lousy free porn. Oh, who'm I kidding? I love you, free porn! *dryhumps*
51. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc?: AIM.
52. If so, how many people are on your list(s)?: 24, roughly.
53. If you could live in any past, where would it be?: the good old days, the same old ways that kept us dying/yes you, me myself and I'n
54. Do you wear white socks?: Yes.
55. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: Depends where I'm walking.
56. Your favorite fruit?: Oranges.
57. Do you eat wheat bread or white?: Wheat bread is for dirty, dirty hippies.
58. What is your favorite place to visit?: Vegas, baby, Vegas.
59. What is the last movie you saw?: Starsky & Hutch.
61. Are you photogenic?: As long as I don't show my teeth when I smile.
62. Do you dream in color or black and white?: Color, though sometimes during flashback sequences (don't get me started) it goes to black and white. Another thing I want to blame on the Wonder Years.
63. Are you wearing fingernail polish?: Not right now.
64. Is it chipped or fresh?: It's fresh. EXCIIIIIIIITING!
65. Do you have any dimples?: Do black people get dimples? Can someone look into this?
66. Do you remember being born?: No.
67. Why do you take surveys?: Boredom.
68. Do you drink alcohol?: Not in the last 26 hours!
69. Did you like or do you like high school?: High school, with the exception of the friends I made and about 4 events, blew like a porn marathon.
70. What is the best accent?: British on a woman. Giggidy giggidy giggidy.
71. Who do you want to kiss?: Stephanie the aforementioned Her.
72. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: Sunrise is really overrated. Sunsets is only good when you got a SO. So give me 1:30 in the afternoon on a day off with a cold beverage and a good time instead.
73. Do you want to live to be 100?: Only because dying scares the shit out of me.
74. Is a flat stomach important to you?: On a girl it would be nice but I don't think it's mandatory.
75. Do you or have you played with a ouija board?: No.
76. Are you loyal?: Fiercely. Mostly because no one's come up with the good money to bribe me yet.
77. Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?: As long as they don't beat me over the head with it or fuck up my fun.
78. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: Off. What sort of cultish weirdo watches with the lights on? You're going for a movie experience!
79. Do you like your nose?: I like it more without boogers in it.
80. Do you think you can draw well?: Drawing sucks.
81. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?: Probably in elementary school. End result was the same so what sort of fuck did I give?
82. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: 0 (four scattered about the floor)
83. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: I'd wear my Chucks all the time if I could.
84. Do you write poetry?: Not anymore.
85. Snore?: I've heard I do.
86. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: Sides.
87. Cats/Dogs?: DOGS.
88. Do you lick stamps?: Yeah, disgusting as that is.
89. Do you use an electric can opener?: Hell yes.
90. Have you ridden in a hotair balloon?: No.
here we go...
Like your name?: My name f'n rocks.
Were you named after anyone?: My dad and the bully on the Little Rascals
Do you wish on stars?: Nope.
Which finger is your favorite?: The middle (probably because I make it work so much).
When did you last cry?: It's been a few years. I'll say 9/11, but even that seems off and wrong to me.
Do you like your handwriting?: I have no strong feelings about my cursive script.
Who do you admire?: Seth Green.
What is your favorite animal?: Piranha.
If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself?: Probably not.
Are you a daredevil?: Not until I get some medical insurance I ain't.
Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?: Probably. Arsed if I know.
Have you ever stolen anything?: A toy car when I was 5.
Do looks matter?: Football analogy: looks are the offense, personality & brains are the defense. There've been plenty of legendary high-scoring offenses that were awesome and put butts in the seats, but defense wins championships.
Have you ever miss used a word and it sounded absolutely stupid?: Heh, miss used. YOU DID!
Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: Don't believe the hype, it's a sequel/as an equal can I get this through to you?
Are you trendy?: I want to say no but in some circles anti-trendy is trendy so I don't know.
How do you release anger?: Cursing. Rock music. Punching shit. Cursing.
Do you trust others easily?: Not really.
What was your favorite toy as a child?: Playdoh
Do you like sappy love songs?: I do when I'm crushing or in love. Then when I'm not I say "fuck this shit" and reach for some Slipknot.
Have you ever been on radio or television?: For a couple seconds: I was at a girls basketball playoff game with my friends, we were all wearing face paint, and I was teaching them the Train dance during a timeout.
Do you have a journal?: What do you think this is?
Do you use sarcasm a lot?: Only the times when I open my mouth.
Have you ever been in another country?: Sadly, no.
What is your nickname?: I don't have one outside the obvious.
Would you bungee jump?: The crazy thing is I want to but I'm acrophobic.
Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?: Sometimes.
What are you worried about right now?: Her.
Do you ever wear overalls?: Sorry, I live west of the Mississippi and don't fuck pigs, despite what Harris may've told you.
Do you think you are strong?: Nah. I don't think I am mentally either though I've been told otherwise.
Currently playing: Fat Joe, Ashanti & her little dog, too's "What's Luv?"
4/3/04
From the Home Office In The Buried 9/11 Reports
Make Like A Bad Check: "I Believe In A Thing Called Love", 7; "Through The Wire", 8; "Meant To Live", 10
[10] Jay-Z => Dirt Off Your Shoulder (N)*
[09] Beyonce => Naughty Girl (N)*
[08] Joss Stone => Fell In Love With A Boy (6)
[07] D-12 => My Band (N)*
[06] Incubus => Megalomaniac (4)
[05] Norah Jones => Sunrise (9)*
[04] N.E.R.D.=> She Wants To Move (5)*
[03] Yellowcard => Ocean Avenue (2)
[02] G-Unit feat. Joe => Wanna Get To Know Ya (1)
[01] Kanye West => All Falls Down (3) [2w]
Currently playing: Diddy, Ginuwine, Mario Winans & Loon's "I Need A Girl (pt.2)"
Make Like A Bad Check: "I Believe In A Thing Called Love", 7; "Through The Wire", 8; "Meant To Live", 10
[10] Jay-Z => Dirt Off Your Shoulder (N)*
[09] Beyonce => Naughty Girl (N)*
[08] Joss Stone => Fell In Love With A Boy (6)
[07] D-12 => My Band (N)*
[06] Incubus => Megalomaniac (4)
[05] Norah Jones => Sunrise (9)*
[04] N.E.R.D.=> She Wants To Move (5)*
[03] Yellowcard => Ocean Avenue (2)
[02] G-Unit feat. Joe => Wanna Get To Know Ya (1)
[01] Kanye West => All Falls Down (3) [2w]
Currently playing: Diddy, Ginuwine, Mario Winans & Loon's "I Need A Girl (pt.2)"
4/1/04
In The Event That The Chick From Spanish Class Should For Some Reason NOT Find Me Attractive, The Following Celebrity Runners-Up Will Be YOUR Next First Lady (Barring Cristal Coming Back To Me, not valid in Puerto Rico, etc...)
Let The Beat Drop: Michelle Trachtenberg (11), Alyssa Milano (12), Alyson Hannigan (16), Ana Beatriz Barros (19), Dawn Marie (22), Kim Smith (23)
Five Feet High And Rising: Sarah Chalke, Jennifer Garner, Shakira
LM TM Wrist Fuel Peak
NR ^ 25 Norah Jones 25
NR ^ 24-R Lucy Liu 23
NR ^ 23 Josie Maran 23
14 v 22 Britney Spears 22
24 ^ 21 Christina Aguilera 6
NR ^ 20-R Tyra Banks 19
21 ^ 19 Jaime Pressly 7
20 ^ 18 Halle Berry 18
25 ^ 17 Kristanna Loken 17
NR ^ 16 Elisha Cuthbert 16
15 = 15 Sofia Vergara 8
17 ^ 14 Heidi Klum 10
10 v 13 Rachel Bilson 10
5 v 12 Carmen Electra 5
9 v 11 Vida Guerra 6
13 ^ 10 Adriana Lima 10
NR ^ 09 Cameron Diaz 9
18 ^ 08 Victoria 8
8 ^ 07 Anna Kournikova 7
4 v 06 Eliza Dushku 3
7 ^ 05 Angelina Jolie 5
6 ^ 04 Beyonce Knowles 4
3 = 03 Brooke Burke 3
1 v 02 Jessica Alba 1
2 ^ 01 Trish Stratus 1
Currently playing: Pat Benatar's "Love Is A Battlefield"
Let The Beat Drop: Michelle Trachtenberg (11), Alyssa Milano (12), Alyson Hannigan (16), Ana Beatriz Barros (19), Dawn Marie (22), Kim Smith (23)
Five Feet High And Rising: Sarah Chalke, Jennifer Garner, Shakira
LM TM Wrist Fuel Peak
NR ^ 25 Norah Jones 25
NR ^ 24-R Lucy Liu 23
NR ^ 23 Josie Maran 23
14 v 22 Britney Spears 22
24 ^ 21 Christina Aguilera 6
NR ^ 20-R Tyra Banks 19
21 ^ 19 Jaime Pressly 7
20 ^ 18 Halle Berry 18
25 ^ 17 Kristanna Loken 17
NR ^ 16 Elisha Cuthbert 16
15 = 15 Sofia Vergara 8
17 ^ 14 Heidi Klum 10
10 v 13 Rachel Bilson 10
5 v 12 Carmen Electra 5
9 v 11 Vida Guerra 6
13 ^ 10 Adriana Lima 10
NR ^ 09 Cameron Diaz 9
18 ^ 08 Victoria 8
8 ^ 07 Anna Kournikova 7
4 v 06 Eliza Dushku 3
7 ^ 05 Angelina Jolie 5
6 ^ 04 Beyonce Knowles 4
3 = 03 Brooke Burke 3
1 v 02 Jessica Alba 1
2 ^ 01 Trish Stratus 1
Currently playing: Pat Benatar's "Love Is A Battlefield"
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