8/30/06

I [heart] Olbermann

Check the title. KMB put me up on it, and I'm watching it now, and now I'm sending it to you:
= = = = =

The man who sees absolutes, where all other men see nuances and shades of meaning, is either a prophet, or a quack.

Donald H. Rumsfeld is not a prophet.

Mr. Rumsfeld’s remarkable speech to the American Legion yesterday demands the deep analysis—and the sober contemplation—of every American.

For it did not merely serve to impugn the morality or intelligence -- indeed, the loyalty -- of the majority of Americans who oppose the transient occupants of the highest offices in the land. Worse, still, it credits those same transient occupants -- our employees -- with a total omniscience; a total omniscience which neither common sense, nor this administration’s track record at home or abroad, suggests they deserve.

Dissent and disagreement with government is the life’s blood of human freedom; and not merely because it is the first roadblock against the kind of tyranny the men Mr. Rumsfeld likes to think of as “his” troops still fight, this very evening, in Iraq.

It is also essential. Because just every once in awhile it is right and the power to which it speaks, is wrong.

In a small irony, however, Mr. Rumsfeld’s speechwriter was adroit in invoking the memory of the appeasement of the Nazis. For in their time, there was another government faced with true peril—with a growing evil—powerful and remorseless.

That government, like Mr. Rumsfeld’s, had a monopoly on all the facts. It, too, had the “secret information.” It alone had the true picture of the threat. It too dismissed and insulted its critics in terms like Mr. Rumsfeld’s -- questioning their intellect and their morality.

That government was England’s, in the 1930’s.

It knew Hitler posed no true threat to Europe, let alone England.

It knew Germany was not re-arming, in violation of all treaties and accords.

It knew that the hard evidence it received, which contradicted its own policies, its own conclusions — its own omniscience -- needed to be dismissed.

The English government of Neville Chamberlain already knew the truth.

Most relevant of all — it “knew” that its staunchest critics needed to be marginalized and isolated. In fact, it portrayed the foremost of them as a blood-thirsty war-monger who was, if not truly senile, at best morally or intellectually confused.

That critic’s name was Winston Churchill.

Sadly, we have no Winston Churchills evident among us this evening. We have only Donald Rumsfelds, demonizing disagreement, the way Neville Chamberlain demonized Winston Churchill.

History — and 163 million pounds of Luftwaffe bombs over England — have taught us that all Mr. Chamberlain had was his certainty — and his own confusion. A confusion that suggested that the office can not only make the man, but that the office can also make the facts.

Thus did Mr. Rumsfeld make an apt historical analogy.

Excepting the fact that he has the battery plugged in backwards.

His government, absolute -- and exclusive -- in its knowledge, is not the modern version of the one which stood up to the Nazis.

It is the modern version of the government of Neville Chamberlain.

But back to today’s Omniscient ones.

That about which Mr. Rumsfeld is confused is simply this: This is a Democracy. Still. Sometimes just barely.

And, as such, all voices count -- not just his.

Had he or his president perhaps proven any of their prior claims of omniscience — about Osama Bin Laden’s plans five years ago, about Saddam Hussein’s weapons four years ago, about Hurricane Katrina’s impact one year ago — we all might be able to swallow hard, and accept their “omniscience” as a bearable, even useful recipe, of fact plus ego.

But, to date, this government has proved little besides its own arrogance, and its own hubris.

Mr. Rumsfeld is also personally confused, morally or intellectually, about his own standing in this matter. From Iraq to Katrina, to the entire “Fog of Fear” which continues to envelop this nation, he, Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney, and their cronies have — inadvertently or intentionally — profited and benefited, both personally, and politically.

And yet he can stand up, in public, and question the morality and the intellect of those of us who dare ask just for the receipt for the Emporer’s New Clothes?

In what country was Mr. Rumsfeld raised? As a child, of whose heroism did he read? On what side of the battle for freedom did he dream one day to fight? With what country has he confused the United States of America?

The confusion we -- as its citizens— must now address, is stark and forbidding.

But variations of it have faced our forefathers, when men like Nixon and McCarthy and Curtis LeMay have darkened our skies and obscured our flag. Note -- with hope in your heart — that those earlier Americans always found their way to the light, and we can, too.

The confusion is about whether this Secretary of Defense, and this administration, are in fact now accomplishing what they claim the terrorists seek: The destruction of our freedoms, the very ones for which the same veterans Mr. Rumsfeld addressed yesterday in Salt Lake City, so valiantly fought.

And about Mr. Rumsfeld’s other main assertion, that this country faces a “new type of fascism.”

As he was correct to remind us how a government that knew everything could get everything wrong, so too was he right when he said that -- though probably not in the way he thought he meant it.

This country faces a new type of fascism - indeed.

Although I presumptuously use his sign-off each night, in feeble tribute, I have utterly no claim to the words of the exemplary journalist Edward R. Murrow.

But never in the trial of a thousand years of writing could I come close to matching how he phrased a warning to an earlier generation of us, at a time when other politicians thought they (and they alone) knew everything, and branded those who disagreed: “confused” or “immoral.”

Thus, forgive me, for reading Murrow, in full:

“We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty,” he said, in 1954. “We must remember always that accusation is not proof, and that conviction depends upon evidence and due process of law.

“We will not walk in fear, one of another. We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason, if we dig deep in our history and our doctrine, and remember that we are not descended from fearful men, not from men who feared to write, to speak, to associate, and to defend causes that were for the moment unpopular.”

And so good night, and good luck.

My Doorbell the White Stripes

8/25/06

SSSSSSSSSomething Like A Phenomenon

All right.

After the hitch I got roped into on its Opening Night, I finally caught the last show tonight to see the movie everybody's been talking about all summer.

Superman Returns? No.

Pirates 2: Eclectic Water Crew? Pshaw.

Lady In the Water? C'mon.

Let me just sum up the thing as it sums up itself.

Snakes. On. A. Mother. Fuckin'. Plane.

It's not Citizen Kane. Because, for one, Citizen Kane is fucking overrated. You heard me. And secondly, this isn't a comedy where the good stuff all got thrown in the trailer, and it's not a romantic comedy that makes you want to vomit, and it's not a drama trying to be Shakespeare, and it's not a remake of some movie that was way better 30 years ago that never should've been remade to begin with.

It is what it is. Snakes On A Plane.

And you know what the thing of it is?

It actually...doesn't suck. The stereotypes are there and gleefully hammed up, there are tons of pointless deaths, the snakes go crazy and bite everything not named Samuel L. Jackson, there's a bunch of hot babes standing around for no good reason in the background and eventually the main players survive and decide to celebrate their still living by hooking up. But on the way, you know what happens--especially if you know what you're getting into beforehand?

You have a metric shitload of fun. I mean, it scared my friend that I was with a few times, but you got to play MST3K for the rest, Samuel does his Samuel thing, shit blows up, and you too can horrify and amuse a movie theater by yelling out THE LINE the same time he does.

I've seen at least a dozen movies in the past 18 months I was "supposed to" like more than this goofy little thing, but this goofy little thing knows what it is, embraces it, bathes in it, and says, "Hey, c'mon, it's okay, you, too."

Expect the basic canons of horror movies to be in there and tweaked, even get a little high or drunk (I probably would be saying this is the BEST MOVIE EVAH~!! had I done either or both of those things), grab your friends (because seeing this alone is I'm convinced like going to see Rocky Horror alone), if you're squeamish check your barf bag, and just sit back and enjoy.

***.

Song With A Mission the Sounds

8/23/06

The Girls Of Summer*

*In one case, the girl is Summer. But I digress.

  1. Jessica Alba, duh (1)
  2. Jessica Biel (21)*
  3. Eva Longoria (3)
  4. Trish Stratus (4)
  5. Angelina Jolie (2)
  6. Kate Beckinsale (6)*
  7. Salma Hayek (9)
  8. Kristen Bell (32)*
  9. JLH (8)
  10. Jennifer Walcott (5)
  11. Stacy Keibler (7)
  12. Shakira (10)
  13. Raquel Gibson (14)*
  14. Katherine Heigl (13)
  15. Marisa Miller (30)*
  16. Scarlett Johansson (23)*
  17. Beyonce (11)
  18. Charisma Carpenter (12)
  19. Brooke Burke (16)
  20. Halle Berry (15)
  21. Sofia Vergara (19)
  22. Kim Smith (18)
  23. Vida Guerra (17)
  24. C.J. Gibson (26)*
  25. Elizabeth Hurley (25)*
  26. Mariah Carey (20)
  27. Mayra Veronica (28)
  28. Monica Bellucci (36)
  29. Sarah Shahi (24)
  30. Summer Altice (22)
  31. Vanessa Minillo (38)*
  32. Jamie Pressly (33)
  33. Keira Knightley (27)
  34. Esther Baxter (28)
  35. Eva Mendes (39)
  36. Petra Nemcova (40)
  37. Lacey Chabert (35)
  38. Adriana Lima (return)
  39. Carmen Electra (31)
  40. Kelly Hu (return)

DROPPED:
Anna Kournikova [34]
Gabrielle Union [37]

Take On Me Reel Big Fish

8/19/06

KWBR

DROPS:
"Life Wasted", 9
"Where'd You Go", 11
"I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor", 15


15. Pharrell feat. Kanye West's "Number 1" (5)
14. Audioslave's "Original Fire" (debut)
13. the All-American Rejects' "Move Along" (14)
12. Jurassic 5 feat. Dave Matthews' "Work It Out" (debut)
11. Christina Aguilera's "Ain't No Other Man" (10)

10. Clipse feat. Pharrell's "Mr. Me Too" (12)*
9. Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Tell Me Baby" (debut)
8. Cassie's "Me & U" (7)
7. E-40 feat. T-Pain's "U & Dat" (13)*
6. Yung Joc's "It's Goin' Down" (1)

5. Ne-Yo's "Sexy Love" (8)*
4. the Raconteurs' "Steady, As She Goes" (5)*

3. Beyonce feat. Jay-Z's "Deja Vu" (4)*

2. Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland's "Promiscuous" (3)*

1. Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" (2) [2nd time; 2 months total]

Snakes On A Plane (Bring It) Cobra Starship

8/16/06

Miss Jessica Biel, Please Pick Up Your Ghetto Pass

1) LA face. With an Oakland booty. Ye gods.

2) I was going to post about how I got screwed over in my Fafarazzi league, but I'm trying to dump Bono and Clay Aiken for more reliable point-scores Tara Reid and Pete Doherty.

That sentence is awesome.

ADDENDUM: Some previous posts have referenced a place called Confidential and a bartender named Jennifer who I deemed hottest in the county. I will now be turning off the All-American Rejects; it's no longer my dirty little secret.

8/10/06

Finally, I Can Put All This Useless Knowledge To Use!

So, I'm in a celebrity fantasy league. Points and everything.

And if you as a friend of the Empire of Rosser would like me to kick your monkey ass, find the private league Celebs On A Blog, use firecrotch as the password, and sit back and wait for the smacktalk to begin.

The Gibson Conspiracy Theorists look forward to 0w1ng j00.

By The Time I Get To Arizona
Public Enemy

8/9/06

Hustler's Ambition

Yeah.

So I got up this morning and decided I was going to go out into the world and continue job hunting. I've been sleeping in my bed a lot more recently with my brother picking up some Grandma slack and I swear my posture and demeanor is a lot better for it. I swore I was going to have a nice quiet Saturday at home but then I found out DJ Spider was coming to town late Saturday night at On Broadway and since I can get in on the sly...well, at least next weekend I can have that nice quiet (boring?) Saturday night at home.

I went to a local mall, and found everything lacking. So I left and went to a job fair for a major hotel reopening. I had one interview where I started off below average but was coming on at the end. Then I was asked if I could hang around for another interview. Gotta be a good sign. I was texting my friend Meagan about how she'd missed out last Saturday but could make it up this Saturday. And then she couldn't. So I mocked her some more. And then the second interview. This was with a different woman a rung or two up the ladder and I was able to make her chuckle and impress her with some tales of the wilder situations I had to handle at the Center. That one goes about 10 or 15, and then they ask if I can hang around for a third interview and now I'm thinking I am Flynn. So I wait and keep taunting her. She says she's got a weekend before Hawaii, you want to go out then? Yes, it's next Saturday. She hasn't been to my favorite club in town (Stingaree--check February for that history), and now as I close that deal it's Interview #3 with the Director of Public Operations.

SO Flynn.

Anyway, the opening is the ridculousness of how I got fired and I explain the whole thing. He laughs at them. Not chuckles, full-on laughs about me getting 24x pay on a suspension and all of that. He says something like maybe subconsciously I was prompting myself to move on, and how the right opportunities spring out bad times if you work right. He finds my week-long unemployment hilarious, because I'm sure he's heard some sob stories over the past couple days and this kid's opening up laughing about his firing and is barely unemployed. PLUS he laughed at "Nothing that wouldn't get me fired". Then, he explains the job, which is like my old job with a couple of tweaks and a better uniform. Oh, and paying $11.75 an hour (I overheard...whoopsie!). So I'm finishing a lot of his sentences because I see the vision, and I would only be dealing with 500ish people because it's so exclusive. Twenty minute third interview, and he's stressing about making sure my address & cell # is correct. You tell me I'm not in.

Then I hit the mall (different) to get myself up to one of them there buhrightos and I run into my friend Stella and she recognizes me from the English class we had togther. Thirty minutes later I have an escort to see DJ Spider at On Broadway. And what I'd get? A couple of T-Mobiles that'll be activated in a month, with no upfront charges. Yup. A couple. My Verizon deal ends on Christmas Eve, so that might be ugly for a little bit. I think it's cheaper for me to stay on instead of breaking off and paying that fee until the hotel money comes in. 1000 minutes, which'll come in handy once I'm unsingle again. They aren't cameraphones, I think, so I may sell one or both of them.

And even with those, I was lucky enough to stop at Borders and then get a couple of slices before Aaron happened to get off while I was in the neighborhood and gave me a ride home. The Earth will provide, I told him simply at the end of this story. The Earth will provide.

Total time spent: 6.5 hours.

I want the finer things in my life, so I hustle
Nigga you get in my way when I'm tryna get mine and I'll buck you...


Wait & Whisper Sexual Healing
DJ Spider mixing Marvin Gaye & the Ying Yang Twins

Let Me Put You On The Game: Jessica Burciaga

She did a couple Stuff shoots, she go-go dances, loves puppies, and Disney movies. Well, 3 out of 4 still passes. And so while you wait for the Hot 40 to come out later this week--


It's Not The Fall That Hurts Caesars

8/5/06

KWBR

a) I put the one that was supposed to be up two weeks ago on the MySpace blog. Doubt anyone cares, but you can find the "lost" KWBR if you care to.

b) Instead of a top 4 I nearly went 1a, 1b, 1c, 1d. All my summer anthems are clogging it at the top. Anyhow--

DROPS:

"Gimme That (remix)", 14

15. Arctic Monkeys' "I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor" (15)
14. the All-American Rejects' "Move Along" (12)
13. E-40 feat. T-Pain's "U & Dat" (debut)
12. Clipse feat. Pharrell's "Mr. Me Too" (13)*
11. Fort Minor feat. Holly Brook's "Where'd You Go" (9)

10. Christina Aguilera's "Ain't No Other Man" (10)
9. Pearl Jam's "Life Wasted" (8)
8. Ne-Yo's "Sexy Love" (11)*
7. Cassie's "Me & U" (6)
6. Pharrell feat. Kanye West's "Number 1" (5)

5. the Raconteurs' "Steady As She Goes" (7)*
4. Beyonce feat. Jay-Z's "Deja Vu" (4)*

3. Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland's "Promiscuous" (2)

2. Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" (1)

1. Yung Joc's "It's Goin' Down" (3) [2w]

Sweet Child O' Mine
Gn'R

8/1/06

Suicide Is Painless

It is better to burn out than to fade away.
--Kurt Cobain


That is what I wrote on the eraseboard of my supervisors a short few minutes after I got fired.

Then I hopped across the street to the Marriott and filled out an application. I got a few out already, between them, a couple of local clubs, and Best Buy since the suspension.

I think my getting terminated instead of quitting is a blight, but once they find out the site-specfic reasons why and alongside my prior clean record of 3 years it should lessen the sting.

At least I'm going to be missed. My supervisor was solemn, very sad. One of my few friends around gave me a hug and seemed proud of me, and my favorite supervisor was down because she wasn't going to be watching football with me come Sundays--though if I do get a door job at a club downtown I have to let her in. (Aaron, I told you Karyn liked me. Told ya.)

Nothing from The Best Saturday Ever on its own got me fired, but cumulatively everything did. If I wanted the press I could be saying I got fired because of my love for Veronica Mars. (Love that was shown back, let the record show.) But I knew what could've happen--even if I thought it was going to pan out at the suspension level--and I did it anyway, and made my peace with it as it happened. I told Ivan my friends always looked out for me and blessed me. I just got to find some strangers to do it now.

And to keep up the positives, here's 10 things (at least) I won't miss about work:
  1. The ugliest fucking uniforms this side of the 70's Padres. The best one merely made me look like a milkman. The ugly ones were damn ugly. And now I'll never wear them again.
  2. Working weekends.
  3. Missing football games.
  4. Working New Year's fucking Eve, and Day.
  5. Standing a shitload, which wasn't so bad until I started spending 30 hours a week crashing on Grandma's couch. Which reminds me--
  6. --going from work directly after sleeping at Grandma's.
  7. NO hot girls in our department. NONE. Except my ex, and I already got her, so...
  8. Doctors asking me to write $2 receipts for coat checking their bag. DOCTORS!
  9. Increasingly working someplace where I cared more about the people than the job; the realization that I'm going to miss the people I worked with and the checks.
  10. Let it be known that the people who fired me for this infraction after 3 years of a perfect record in the past 2 weeks suspended me for 30 hours--paid me for 12--and made sure to give me my biggest check of the year on the way out the door.

After the paperwork was done, I was asked if I had anything to say. Could've gone a lot of ways. I settled for "Nothing that wouldn't get me fired."

That's how I spell maturity.

And as one of my Song of the Year candidates so eloquently put it--

Move Along the All-American Rejects (double irony, gotta love it)