The Big Questions For This Administration

Who will fit our platform and provide a quality Vice President, yet also is hated enough to the point where I won't be assassinated?

What is the campaign's one big theme?

What's a good idea for "Why do I want to be president?" besides "It's the quickest way to take over the world and make all those motherfuckers pay, plus I'd get more pussy than an animal shelter"?

List of platforms to date:
*abolishment of the penny
*re-establishment of the guillotine as capital punishment, and the catapult because...well...it's cool.
*kill everyone in jails; redecorate jails, rename, and house homeless
*the first week of inauguration everything in the country is 10% off as a thank you/economic stimulus
*state contraction--do we need BOTH Dakotas?
*scrapping NASA and using 70% of the money to start cloning hot babes and reprogram the clones for freaky sex and chore-doing, thus at least halving crime in the country. Other 25% goes to schools. And the other 5% to me.
*the legalization of marijuana, taxed, and packaged with snack chips
*the legalization of gay marriage, because it's 2004. Get the fuck over it already.
*non-retarded adults must have at least an IQ of 80. Alternatives: flee country. die.
*the noise for the monthly television tests will be replaced by the riff from AC/DC's "Thunderstruck"
*Lewis Black will proffered a job as press secretary
*annexation of Canada with plans for global health care
*a new National Anthem, which may or may not be the theme from the Jeffersons

theprecedingpaidbytherosser2004campaign

Currently playing: my current #1, G-Unit & Joe's "Wanna Get To Know Ya"