Not Just For Sodas

I feel so unbelievably bad I have to bump the Best Post Ever off the top slot on the marquee.

So my poker home game has somehow in the couple times I've missed out on switched its prime night from Saturday to Tuesday. Maybe this is a temporary thing, but I actually don't mind as you guys know the odds of me busting hump at the J O are way smaller on martes than sabado. Since it is a perilous shoestring 48 hours before the paycheck, Aaron is kind enough to front me $10 to buy in.

Tonight I think I played better than the time before, and exponentially better than the time before that. It's the point of playing NL Tex for cash; to not fritter away your money (even loaned) in a bunch of draw chases that end up going nowhere, to be able to read people, and most proudly, to know when to fold 'em. I think of at least three folds: pocket 6s where nothing came on the river and I would've gotten outdrawn is first and foremost, though I also ditched a 10-A suited facing a raise and reraise. I also remember getting two pair, but almost getting pushed to the breaking point and folding--what would've jobbed out to a better two pair.

Crowning achievement: finally toppling the monster once known as Bruce. Bruce has treated me & Aaron in the past few games the same way the Voorhies treat kids who come to camp, and we have never beaten him for any significant amount of money. So tonight after a flop comes down with JQ in it he's looking at my stack like he can imagine the 47" monitor it's going to fund to upgrade from that pussy-ass 30" he's got going on, and I push all in. Pocket Kings. Sacramento. I am fucked, unless by some divine act of Alba OH HOLY JESSICA MARIE IT'S THE LAST FUCKING KING IN THE DECK MAKING ME THE NUT STRAIGHT! Bruce is almost dead! Good, after 2,005 years of suffering, has finally bitchslapped evil into compliance!

All right, I am exaggerating slightly but damn it felt good. Bruce loses his remaining pittiance on the next hand, and Peter sings the second best song of all-time, "Bruce Just Lost All His Money (In The Last Two Hands)". When the night ends and they shuffle back off to the Official Taco Shop of the Local Klan, I'm ahead enough to give back Aaron his money and remain 7 up.

Sadly, I blew it all on big-ass peanut butter cups and whores.

Okay, I just blew some of it on the big-ass peanut butter cups. But it's still a good night in my development, and hey, Celebrity Poker Showdown in 45...of course, if it's the Brad Garrett ep, I'll be falling asleep to Katie Couric...

Current music: "Southside" by Moby & Gwen Stefani