Hey! Wait! I've Got A New Complvcsgvc8w7ec1t426815

Hey! Wait! I've Got A New Complvcsgvc8w7ec1t426815
We're the same numb, and it brings our knees to the earth...

All right. Since the convention is boring as hell (cartographers already know where they're going) and all my running around for the weekend's to be done tomorrow. So let me describe my ride to work. All you 14 out there who love it when I shift into even blacker Lewis Black mode may want to grab a brew, some pretzels, and roll back.

K.

Considering things didn't turn out bad later on I'm really hesitant to assign "blame" to the series of events that happened in the early afternoon. But my dad and little brother jacked me something fierce.

My dad sends me to a place at the mall. Says a guy works there he's friends with can maybe swing me a deal for my churchy holier von thou shoes. I gotta go an hour early before work because I get off too late to do it after, but ah well, deal's a deal. And tomorrow's gonna be crazy enough. Let's do it.

Of course, since I have to go an hour early instead of the larf across the street for one bus, I have to go two blocks down to the other one. Not an issue. At least, not until I see that up and down the block (throughout the TOWN as it turned out) the bus lanes are cut off by massive construction. So now instead of a 3-minute ride it's a 20-minute walk. Of course, I have a long-sleeve sweater on because it's overcast and I get off work at 9 but that all collapses on me, much like my deoderant, and I end up sweating like a crackhead going through withdrawls.

AND I lose not one but two sets of double A's from the busted-up ghetto-ass CD player my brother no longer has use for. It reminds me of how I lost MY bomb-ass CD player/radio tuner the day after Angelina Acuna broke my heart. Man, she was something. Probably #2 on the all-time High Fidelity Top 5 Horrible Breakups list. Wow, covered #1 & #2 in the same week. Go me. siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh...anyway, that's another thing I need to buy, and a new radio system since everyone else in the family's gotten one in the past year.

After about 20 minutes and 4 pounds down, I get there. Of course, the guy isn't there. And the CD player's raped the BNL Greatest Hits CD Corkscrew Plancha got me. I think it's the dead batteries so after 3 stores I manage to get a ghetto-ass four pack for $2, thus allowing me both music to escape and money to purchase food at work. I put in Renegades because I NEED TO HEAR "MAGGIE'S FARM" RIGHT NOW.

It is now I find out that the CD player has re-enacted the 86 Sprint we used to have before my parents took it to the Saturn dealership: no reverse, no turbo, just PLAY/GO. And it rewinds on it's own accord.

[As I wrote this note, a cartographer skipped through the hall. A grown man, no less. THIS is what passes for Cartographers Gone Wild. THIS was the biggest thing to happen in my section all day. What a difference from NarcAnon.]

So I try playing it through and it doesn't even get through the first verse of "I'm Housing" before channeling Linda Blair.

DEFCON FUCKING ONE. So I can't go forwards? Fine. I play my GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME ANTHEM which just coincidentally enough is a lead track--the one off In Utero, "Serve The Servants". I have to open it after the song's over and close it back up to hear it again, but at least I avoid punching someone in the face. You can see the title for what happened when I tried to be daring and it got to "Heart Shaped Box".

(And to paraphrase Sideshow Bob, I'm fully aware of the irony of being full of homicidal rage on the way to a public relations job listening to "Serve The Servants", so don't bother pointing that out.)

I was so irate over that prison-assraping of a 90 minutes that just thinking about it after the fact caused me to misbutton my shirt.

So, there you go.

TO DO:
--grab check
--cash Friday
--get tuxedo
--get a pack of underwear
--get a pack of condoms (oh, the unholy arrogance)
--buy church shoes
--grab wedding gift
--NOT KILL
--get up early Friday

The Storm did some damage today, but I came out the other side no problem. One more day, and I will see the top of the mountain. And it will be damn good.

BE'LIE DAT, PLAYA.

Drain you of your sanity/face the thing that should not be