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Can't Knock The Hustle

Yo, did you see that shit? Bitches LOVE me...I GOTS to be the craftiest motherfucker alive!
--Archbishop Jay, two quotes from "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back"

Now listen. I can get into how much fun coat check was, or how 65,000 freaks from all walks of life have converged on the CC, or even why birds suddenly appear every time you are near.

OR I can talk about how I spent a break and got two autographs from two of the supporting stars of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, only one of the five finest things to grace the cyclopian light of television since the advent of cable.

So, kids, what is it: the horrifying truth? Or DINGERS?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

There was a break period. I worked nine-and-a-half today and due to the setup of the center in conjunction with my HQ, there's no time to go and change. But when I looked in a handbook and saw Iyari Limon (Willow's girlfriend/Slayer-In-Training Kennedy from the last season) doing autographs from 3 to 7 upstairs, it just became real easy. I get a break, I go upstairs, I make the fawning noises, I gets the John Hancock.

So finally my second break comes around, so late I won't get a third, thus allowing me to stretch out. And I go to her side of the hall, but her line is long and in a shorter line there is Danny Strong, geeky arch-villian/alternate universe "Superstar" creator Jonathon. I love his character, for some reason the socially inept geek resonates with me. Anywhoozle, he says hi to me first because out of everyone in line, none of them actually work in the building. He says hey, he's wearing a Scotland soccer jersey. I would've said something but what black American cares about soccer? I explain to him my situation on how I'm on break and sort of risking my job and he gives this great laugh that belongs to someone a foot bigger. Autograph.

On to the next line. I'm in line and I'm becoming increasingly late in what was supposed to be a small break but fuck it, not many people show up and my presence is unnecessary. Besides, my co-workers are old and talking about cars and stuff. I really care. So, I'm talking to people in line and a little boy says "That guy is Spike's friend, and the girl is Willow's friend." WILLOW'S FRIEND! Holy god, that was the cutest damn thing I'd ever heard. So I'm waiting and worrying but evenutally comes my time. I explain to her I am now running late and took like half an hour on what was allegedly a 20 minute break. She's awesome and self-deprecating and when she hugs me it smells like tangerine. Damn you, animal magnetism! WHY? WHY must you torture the poor women so! A pretty little 19-year-old girl who has now fallen prey to my charm and rugged manly countenance! Ohhh...the cross, so heavy, the cross, the cross, the cross. I didn't ASK to be born this damn suave, it just happened after years of work. *siiiiiiiiiiigh* Now I'm probably gonna get freaky phone calls and dirty e-mails and all sorts of manner of things. DAMN YOU, KEVORKA.

Tomorrow I hear I can meet Amber Benson (Tara) which is plenty of time to buff the right forearm to a mirror shine. 'Cause if I get my way like I got it today, by Sunday afternoon it'll say in a lovely Sharpie written look

PROPERTY OF ELIZA DUSHKU

Don't hate the playa, Renner. Hate the game.