Didn't Even Have To Use My AK

You know what seperates a good Simpsons ep from a great one? It's when the little jokes, the throwaway shit unrelated to the storyline, makes you laugh just as hard as the main event stuff. Days are like that, too. To wit:

*picked up lunch on the way to work, and walked in right on time to punch in. I was a couple minutes late with changing, and rushed through it. Of course, I was the only one who needed a briefing, and my boss was later than I. Smoooth.

*Ended up coat check for the first half of my shift. ("You're doing two things today, since you're good enough to," sayeth my boss, and I say "Mkay" 'cause the check cashes the same, know what I mean?) The best part of coat check is that you get to SIT! MMM SITTING! Considering how my back's been in arrears for standing for seven hour shifts this was a welcome switch. 3 people showed up in 90 minutes, two before I even technically opened. So that meant I got to church sleep on the job AND I went undetected. Clearly, the decision to wear the Kobe jersey was paying dividends. Oh, yeah, and there was this hottie working the Mrs. Fields booth and when I bought my cookie she gave me 50 cents off. KEVORKA. Feel it. Know it. Call it Papi.

*I finally woke up for good and 2 minutes later the breaker showed up. ROLLING.

*As I started my break, I realized I was working late enough to pick up the check today and not have to come back for it tomorrow so I don't have to see work again until I'm doing it Sunday.

*One of the FIVE people I handled in coat check couldn't fit it into his bag, so I know am the possesor of the world's most powerful umbrella! An umbrella so strong it won't falter in the face of an airport plane's JET. Dig it. I don't know when the hell I'm going to use it in the next, oh, four months, but a thing like that's a good thing to have in the holster regardless of when you need to fire it. Besides, worst comes to worst I'll sell the fucker on Ebay.

*Was the breaker for the second wave, and broke them all impeccably just in time to get off. Three guys gave me a 2-buck tip for hailing them a cab, too.

*Hit my connections, and came home to find out the Baron Davis jersey is MINE at $22 less C & H, and I'm an hour away from having the 'Melo.

In the immortal words of Mahatma Ghandi upon India's release from British rule after World War II, " DAMN I'M GOOD! CAN YOU FEEL IT?! HUH?! CAN YA?!"