Rosser Top Twenty Five

Can I get a hell, yeah from the audiophiles like me? (HELL, YEAH!)

There's a good swerve for you, since Gretchen Wilson couldn't get on this list if she paid $100.

So, it's the top 25 of the year time. Very pleasant to see what I came out with when the list was all said and done, since last year's same four or five acts showing up depressed me. Only three acts managed the feat this year, one of whom resides at the top, one who helped him get there and did him one better in volume, and another who nobody in the U.S, had heard of last year and justbarely snuck in there. Nope, not her: Joss Stone threatened on three seperate occassions but couldn't quite get in. I am now way more hip-hop than rock. The big surprise to the hoi polloi: no "Yeah!" Sorry, but outside of the club and a girl's ass against me--took too long to grow on me, and playing along at home isn't as fun.

FUCK WHAT I SAID, IT DON'T MEAN SHIT NOW
Joss Stone, "Fell In Love With A Boy"
the Vines, "Ride"
the Darkness, "Growing On Me"
Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Maps"
Incubus, "Talk Shows On Mute"
John Legend, "Used To Love U"
the Roots, "Star"
the Killers, "Somebody Told Me"

ALL ACROSS THE BOARD WE GON TEAR IT UP

#25: the Darkness, "Love Is Only A Feeling"
I can't really explain how these Brits' singles came out to match the state of my union (or lack thereof) addresses, but it happened on two occassions. You'll see the other one later.

#24: U2, "Vertigo"
Yeah, like I didn't want to buy an iPod already. It IS eligible for the '05 list, and to be honest will probably do a lot better there. Still, for just getting in under the wire, great work by Larry Cullen Jr. and those other three guys.

#23: Young Buck feat. 50 Cent, "Let Me In"
What, do you want me to get stabbed? Fuck that!

#22: Pitbull feat. Lil' Jon, "Culo"
Spanglish rap? WHAT?! In a town where the proliferation of Starbucks is only matched by Latinas, you can bet I heard this song a time or twenty in a club. Unlike most, it didn't get old.

#21: the Strokes, "Reptilia"
The jittery opening and the rifflicious chorus scratched me where I itched. I really liked the line I said PLEASE don't slow me down if I'm going too fast because the music backed up the state of mind. So what if they're so 2002?

#20: Gwen Stefani, "What You Waiting For?"
Another '05 qualifier. Immediate reaction to hearing this song and seeing the tricked-out video: For some unexplainable reason I suddenly want to do my body weight in Ecstacy!

#19: N.E.R.D., "She Wants To Move"
Hey, I don't care what people say, this Pharrell kid is going to be somebody some day. You watch. Was this CD as good as In Search Of...? Someone let me know, because that thing pimped me out hard.

#18: D-12, "My Band"
I'd pull a knife on Marshall, too, Kuniva. Alba's MY wife to be, fuckdammit!

#17: Green Day, "American Idiot"
As a consolation prize for not being higher up Billie Joe and the boys get the Most Accurate Song of the Year award.

#16: Maroon 5, "She Will Be Loved"
Your laughter at me is making Baby Jesus sad.

#15: Kanye West, "Jesus Walks"
The offical theme song of Johnny Damon! Best part: the last verse was a taunt to see if radio would play it. Guess who won that one?

#14: Franz Ferdinand, "Take Me Out"
'04's Riff of the Year. And sadly, a topic I can really identify with. Not that I'm plotting to firebomb Stephanie off the face of the earth...anymore...

#13: Jay-Z, "Dirt Off Your Shoulder"
From the Riff to the Opening Line. Great EPMD reference in the end, and the 52 cards line...no one does a lyric like Sean does 'em.

#12: Beastie Boys, "Ch-Check It Out"
Screw Mase; welcome back to y'all! The first single off my Album of the Year was my Comic-Con theme, esp. MCA's opening lyric. Lorne Greene really got paid that much? Nice to see somebody else enjoyed the Cable Guy besides me.

#11: Terror Squad, "Lean Back"
PSSSSSST...if y'all got rid of that biter Remy this would've made top 5. As is, Fat Joe carries the load for his posse with a minimum of body movement. I would've cut a rap like this, but being nicknamed Urkel, Academic League, Wiseass or maybe Most Likely To Host A Talk Show doesn't really translate into rhyme well. :(

#10: Alicia Keys, "You Don't Know My Name"
Assuming my parents hadn't disconnected from music in 1987, this would be the current artist most likely to be in their CD case. Respecting the old while searching for the new at its FINEST. $64,000 Question of the Year: Who's big pimpin' so much Alicia's calling them instead of the other way around?

#9: Kanye West, "Through The Wire"
Chaka Khan. Chaka Khan. Ch-ch-ch-Chaka Khan. The opening step in the Year of Kanye, and a fine example of what happens when Keeping It Real Goes RIGHT. His throwaway line reference is way funnier than anything Em did in the "Just Lose It" video.

#8: Ludacris, "Blow It Out Your Ass"
You know, right when I heard the new phenomenon like white women with ass I just knew this was making the top 25 somewhere. Jesus saves and Ludacris withdrawls, top 15. Dissing Bill O'Reilly? Congrats, Luda, welcome to the top 10!

#7: Snoop Dogg feat. Pharrell, "Drop It Like It's Hot"
Here's something to debate amongst yourselves: if it gets released closer to say, Memorial Day than Halloween, does it make #1? And with this song, minimalists shake their ass and pull up their pant leg.

#6: Kanye West, "All Falls Down"
2003: Rachel Hunter :: 2004 :: Stacey Dash, though the latter better stay the hell away from reality TV in '05. Whether that was The Artist Formerly Known As Lauryn or not, the easy guitar groove really brought Kanye's voice tricks to the front: leaning on the accent, mispronouncing Versace...good times.

#5: Outkast, "Roses"
Did I mention I have a boss named Caroline? Would it surprise anybody to know that I haven't opened our conversations without singing her name since about March? I know I think Big Boi's a better rapper than Andre, but everytime he does something crazy/perfect like this...well, you see who's songs are on the list and who's aren't.

#4: Yellowcard, "Ocean Avenue"
Guess what? I got a fever. And the only prescription is more...violin?! All right, who's been screwing with this thing?! When I was still in limbo about my feelings of the old relationship, I'd find myself singing the chorus out of nowhere for no discernable reason. And sometimes the second verse. And the last one. OK, if there was an Ocean Avenue in town I would've probably sang the whole thing. You happy? Can we move on now, 'cause Lord knows I have...

#3: the Darkness, "I Believe In A Thing Called Love"
...but back when not only had I not moved on, but it was still exciting and new like the beginning of the Love Boat, you'd find me singing this instead. The best part? It doesn't matter if you can't sing, because it almost makes the song better (see Markie, Biz). A shame I didn't get loaded and sing this at a karaoake bar, but then that just would've broken us up even sooner. But Rock Song of the Year!

#2: G-Unit feat. Joe, "Wanna Get To Know You"
You know what my favorite part of the video was? 50 goes You don't have to look like a model for me to adore you and they cut right to a chick who looks like a model. Anyway, the most complete of the G-Unit songs puts them in the runner-up, and Joe doing the chorus work was excellent. The inverse of this song, "Ride With You", didn't even breach my playlist. As I heard a white kid say on a great show once, G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G UNIT!

#1: Jay-Z, "99 Problems"
It's beyond psycho of me, but I imagine Hov sitting down in his favorite chair somewhere going over a to-do list. Hottest chick in the game wearing my chain? Check. Best rapper alive? *listens to "Just Lose It"* Double check. So much cash my great-grandkids won't have to get a real job? Yup. Well, hell, what's left for me to do? I should get one of the guys who started this whole rap/rock thing to produce a song for me. Yeah, that'll do. The LP version with "Points Of Authority" & "One Step Closer" is crazy sick, too. But make no mistake: You was doing 55 in a 54 is the Line of the Year. I will NOT argue this. The man threw in saccharine. SACCHARINE! How, as a ex-journalism major hip-hop head can I not love this? Simple: I can't. So it's the Song of the Year.