This is not this is not this is not really happening, hey
You bet your life it is
You bet your life it is
Oh, you bet your life...
--Tori Amos, "Cornflake Girl"
Karma is bullshit.
I know.
I did everything in my power to generate positive energy. I was there for others, as I have been for about a month. I took chances the old me would've never taken. I attempted to put my problems behind for one night in order to keep hope alive.
Every turn lead to a car wreck.
Yes, you can sleep on the same couch and get very little sleep.
Yes, you can watch your father fuck up royally and lead to your grandmother disoriented and crying while you were standing on the other side of the door.
Yes, you can buy new slacks and put yourself out there only to not really get anywhere--awesome crudites aside--and lose your phone.
Yes, you can come home so you can sleep on THAT couch.
What do I do?
What the fuck do I do?
Where is the balance? Where is the stop suffering button? Is this because I'm trying to keep some semblance of a life before I lose it next week? Is it because I hit on a blind girl? Seriously, any answers are welcome. I haven't felt this shitty in years, and the wave keeps on rising.
Time for me to steal 3 hours of sleep. Again. Right before work, too.
I want to
I want to someone else or I'll explode...
--Thom Yorke
3/24/06
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2 comments:
Cheer up! At least Aaron Brooks isn't quarterbacking your favorite team!
Seriously, life can run a suck gauntlet. Look at me, in 2005 I lost the only house I'd ever really lived in and had major surgery. No one can find that damned stop suffering button.
Things do, however, get better. After all that, I ended up in a decent place finally, got a better job and got to spend six weeks training with a ridicilously hot redhead who loved to dress in miniskirts.
Things have a way of working themselves out. Just don't do anything stupid. Like become a Republican.
Oh holy hell PLEASE Do not become a Republican. Join the Anarchist movement before you become a damned Repub...what? What's that? I'm still regis..you mean I nev...SHIT!
Hey man I got your text and tried to text you back...guess that phone got lost. Let me know what day next week works best for you. Monday and Wednesday is class for me but every other day works out. Friday is best because there's no work next day but Tues and Thur is ok if Friday don't work for you. You know my cell number. If not, send me an e-mail.
At least get you out of the house for one night. There is no "stop sucking" button. Just endure it well and it will end at some point. Suckiest part is that you're never told when.
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