the Most Recent In A Series Of High Fidelity Moments

The ends of my mustache are getting away from me, and that's not good. The bridge between mustache and beard have not quite fully formed Goatee Road, though the concrete is being layed for such, and it's not good because it makes the chaos theory at the ends stand out.

Why the hell don't I get rid of it, you ask, and well you should.

I dunno--the last couple days I've been all up in a heavel. Friday fizzled out, haven't spoken to her since Wednesday. She told me something was going down Thursday and New Butch wants to go down to work and Rational Don't Blow This You Idjit Butch is saying I should stay here and study for my Spanish test. [How fucked is THAT, by the by? That's what I always wanted for my birthday--a quiz. And work. Huzzah.] I just wish I knew, dammit, 'cause being on the edge of this is driving me nuts.

The party went...meh. I think I thought it was more spectacular than it was due to my inebriation. And I took some pics--if only I could find out how to upload them. Plus I got my goblet. My friend Ivan bought me a beer mug/crystal goblet looking deal that has Pimp Legion of Doom: Honorary Member on it so all's I need is a new hat and a cane.

But that's not the point.

I just wish I knew. And I wish she'd say yes. I perceived something. I thought I did. There's this person clawing inside of me that doesn't greet the day with a groan and smiles not just because he's at work and it's his job and is becoming, while not exactly a saint, something closer to the productive member of society.

And as she started fishing him out of me, the crazy thing was I wanted that guy free. He was me in my youth, before I found out the truth and let it build a wall on me. I laughed, and not in a figures-that'd-happen way, and then thing after thing after FUCKING THING happened--you ever see a karate exhibition on ESPN2 and one guy's pressing the other and the other guy's backing up, swinging and kicking, trying to come out of the corner and realizing it's probably futile because he should've gotten the jump?

If not, sorry. If you do, you understand.

I can't keep living like this.

25 shouldn't be like the other 24.

Currently playing: the Flaming Lips' "Do You Realize?"