You've GOT To Fight Your Weight Class

So HERE'S a story.

I get a call from the freeway in the middle of the afternoon and a voice says "That's how we do things in Orange County!"

Nate. Yes, he of the Liz story Nate. They're coming to town. Do I have plans? Nah. So we end up hanging out. We watch "Blazing Saddles" and then it's up to Pacific Beach.

Friday night in PB is pretty much one of the places to be in town, and we hit up a billiard hall. We couldn't get a table with a working light overhead and considering it was about 10 we decided to book. We went to the PB Bar & Grill, my favorite place to dance in town (there's a dance floor behind the bar and patio and pool tables and whatnot). Eventually we get in and after a few drinks more we get towards the floor. It takes a little goading from Nate (who it turns out has broken up with Liz, go figure). I start dancing for an hour in my pimped out discoesque shirt and he, I and Amanda were all going pretty strong.

After an hour, the heat's getting to us and we decide to break. And as I go to catch a break because I am sweating off about 3% of my body weight, two things happen: a) another song I want to get down to...there were a lot...I want to say "Pump It Up" starts and 2) this complete dime who looks like Rose McGowan brunette walks right past me. So the plan changes: THEY get to leave. I got some tuna to fish for. Butter my balls and call me a cookie sheet, she's wearing this white tank top and this little beige skirt and it's like a shopping mall parking space that gets vacated Christmas Eve. Gotta keep away the rest and park in there.

I am, if not always good per se, a dedicated dancer. I have literally gone 90 minutes after friends have crapped out, at PBB&G in fact. And here is what happened when I got behind her two songs later after a brief look on her part to see what she was about to get into: she totally, completely, wore my ass O U T. Never happened before, but she was just something I write about instead of something that actually happens to me. And that whole thing for 20 minutes where she made her ass an extension of my groin...*deep breath* lordamercy.

The double mattress is calling and I need to pick up. Night.

CHRIST.